CHILDISH FINGERS

I'm not going to comment on the charges that have been or might be laid against either of the Mr Engerers who were in the news recently, except to remark that if in this day and age the cops have nothing better to do with their time than feel the...

I'm not going to comment on the charges that have been or might be laid against either of the Mr Engerers who were in the news recently, except to remark that if in this day and age the cops have nothing better to do with their time than feel the collar of an aging hippy who uses alternative ciggies, then they need some occupational therapy.

Equally, if all that the younger Engerer did was indulge in what many people indulge in the privacy of their own home, then again, the police need to find better things to do with the time for which we're paying.

In any event, the Commissioner is scheduled to give a press conference at four on Tuesday, after I've sent this in, so hopefully the cops will make things clear then.

However, the alacrity with which all the usual suspects jumped to the usual two conclusions is really rather amusing.

With their usual eagerness to spot a conspiracy at the drop of a beret, everyone and his felllow travellers have assumed a) that the Engerers are innocent (which I hope they are, frankly) and b) that their travails with the law are a direct consequence of the younger Engerer's defection to the Labour Party.

Oh please, ladies and gentlemen, take a reality check, do.

Is it really a credible theory that a decision-maker within a political party in the early 21st century, when any little foible can be tweeted, face-booked and otherwise broadcast to the four winds within micro-seconds, would be stupid enough to dare to tell the cops to do their political bididng? I mean, really?

I'm not saying that said decision-makers, in the privacy of their own fantasies, wouldn't like to have a squad of the nation's finest doing their nefarious bidding, merely that no-one in their right mind would be stupid enough to try.

On the other hand, if by some chance, someone has been stupid enough to pull this stunt, and the cops were brown-nosers enough to co-operate, then heads should roll, sharpish. Equally, if some ranker has been trying to ingratiate himself by pulling a stunt he thought would please his bosses, then his head should be sent bumping down the garden path.

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