Fridge magnets – express yourself

A cute way to attach photos to the fridge door, or a means of expression? What fridge magnets say about you – Deana Luchia

There used to be a TV show called Through the Keyhole where one rather nosey presenter wandered around a property pointing out ‘clues’ that would enable a panel of very minor celebs to guess who lived there.

The presenter could have saved himself a lot of time sniffing round bedrooms and being dismissive of beloved works of art in living rooms and just stood in front of the fridge. Because it’s possible to tell an awful lot about a person from the items they attach to their fridge door, and the magnets that hold them in place.

Of course back when Through the Keyhole was on TV, fridge magnets were not the ubiquitous items they are today (around 80 per cent of us have some form of magnet on our fridge door). But somewhere in the late 80s they became the staple of souvenir and gift shops everywhere and everyone went magnet crazy. So what do your fridge magnets say about you?

Doting mum

It’s easy to spot a besotted mum by her taste in fridge magnets. First there’ll be dozens of photo-frame magnets, each containing a small picture of her offspring at various stages of their development.

These will be surrounded by loads of plastic, brightly coloured letters of the alphabet which pre-date school days (she’s never going to get rid of anything her children have played with, ever). And then she has a number of magnets picturing the various roller-coasters, log flumes, big wheels, et cetera they’ve all been on, plus lots of ‘Mum, you’re the best’-type magnets that her children buy her for Mother’s Day and her birthday. With gifts like these and the magnets that come free with the small yoghurts only children ever eat, children must keep the magnet industry going.

Any space that’s left is dedicated to her children’s latest artwork, while somewhere underneath it all is a school timetable.Doting mums occasionally get the urge to go minimal, and pack away each and every magnet, only to stick them all back upminutes later.

Animal lover

These people are very similar to doting mums but magnetic photo-frames house photos of current and past pets. The fridge door is also where they keep numbers for the vet, the grooming parlour and the kennels.

Animal-loving magnet addicts are invariably huge fans of Rachel Hale and have a number of magnets featuring her work: think kittens snuggling in baskets, puppies wearing tea cosies and piglets frolicking in meadows. They are also huge fans of cow magnets that moo and sheep magnets that baa.

Hoarder

These people keep their fridges camouflaged beneath a mass of papers, calendars, bills, greetings cards and fliers. In fact, just about everything they’ve ever received through the letter box is attached to the fridge door with a variety of magnets: gifts, souvenirs or otherwise. Some of this is down to wanting to believe this type of fridge decoration constitutes some form of actual order; the rest is down to not wanting to say goodbye to anything that might one day prove vital.

Motivationally challenged

These people need to lose weight, run 20k and meditate daily and they have the magnets to inspire them. There is no end to the ‘motivational’ messages someone can print on a magnet and no end to the motivational magnets this person will buy.

The motivationally challenged will probably also use the fridge door to stick up pictures of Colin Firth next to unflattering photos of themselves in bathing suits as the ultimate in ‘you can do it!’ messages.

The tourist

It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, or what ancient relic or work of art you are looking at, someone is selling a miniaturised, magnetic version of it and these types have all of them – everything from a yellow bus magnet for Malta, to a tiny Sydney opera house.

Literary/bossy types

These people buy several packs of small magnetic poetry sets and ‘write’ poetry or display literary quotes on their fridge door.

Sometimes this is done as a challenge, particularly when two literary types share the same fridge. Sometimes it’s done simply to show off.

When literary types get fed up, they use their magnetic words to issue demands that can’t be missed such as, ‘put out the garbage’, ‘tidy room’, ‘stop eating all the cheese’. When really angry, poetic magnets are used to issue insults.

And then, of course, there are those who have no magnets on their fridge doors. This too is revealing. The absence of magnets can mean one of several things:

A: You are a man,

B: You have the urge to go magnetic but are foiled by having a built-in fridge and thus have no access to a smooth metallic surface,

C: You are as unwilling to share your inner thoughts with the world via your fridge door as you are through Facebook or Twitter,

D: Your inner self is actually as smooth, cold and devoid of character as your fridge door.