Alex Vella Gregory, Swatar
On being gay, the right to love...and end of the world
The end of the world is nigh, and apparently Doomsday is arriving in drag and waving a rainbow flag.
Reading through various comments made on this newspaper and other local media regarding gay rights, one wonders whether a particular segment of the population actually grasps the idea of “fundamental rights”.
Let us get a few facts straight (if you can pardon the pun). Being gay is not simply about who you prefer to have sex with; it is about who you want to build long, solid relationships with, of which sex is only a small part.
Being gay has nothing to do with being effeminate; gender identification is different from sexual orientation.
This leads us to the next misguided contradiction; “I have nothing against homosexuals, but…!” If you disagree (or even worse “hate”) homosexuals, kindly be mature about it and say it.
I do not tolerate that “holier-than-thou” hypocrisy, epitomised by the likes of those who try to justify homophobia by quoting the Bible. Nor am I waiting for them to justify my sexuality.
It is interesting that most of the arguments against gay rights (and other forms of hatred) end with a biblical quote.
People seem to forget that quite frankly I do not need any church or religious sect to feel “loved”, “accepted”, or “forgiven”.
I have all the support and care I need from my family and friends, and contrary to what some bigots might think, I am not a Bible-burning atheist hell-bent on destroying the world.
I simply believe that wisdom is better than ignorance, respect is better than fundamentalism, and love is better than hate.
Unfortunately, for a greater part of the homosexual community, such love and care is not available.
That is where gay rights come in. Perhaps the term “gay rights” is misleading in itself, because really and truly they are fundamental human rights.
They include the right to choose your life partner, the right for one’s relationship to be legally recognised, the right to own property with the person you choose, the right to medical and social care as a couple, and the right for two consenting adults to live together as a family.
Of course, the word “family” raises eyebrows and quite a few disapproving voices.
Therefore, I ask, “Would a single mum and her child be considered a family? Would a religious community be considered a family? Would an orphanage be considered a family? Would a mother living with her adult offspring under one roof be considered a family?” If your definition of family is simply “mum and dad and children”, then you are denying the greater part of the population the right to feel loved.
And therefore, that is what “gay rights” are all about: the right to love and be loved by the people you choose. So come the end of the world, I will end it with the people I love, not with people chosen for me by society.
Until that day comes, I will fight for others to enjoy that same basic right.
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Malcolm Bonello
Jun 24th 2011, 11:21
Very well written article. It's very refreshing to read such well-articulated articles. Sound arguments, no moaning, and no fundamentalist mentalities. You should write more often Mr Vella Gregory.
Mr Joseph Carmel Chetcuti
Jun 24th 2011, 10:32
The Bible is among the most misrepresented books, its myths taken for history, its invented heroes like Moses, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob taken to have been among our predecessors, the Jewish God represented as an interfering deity to the point of having daily conversations with imagined human beings, the Jewish God discarding his other 'children' in preference for one race, the context in which each of the manuscripts that constitute the Bible were written totally ignored, especially ignored are their borrowings from surrounding cultures that have come to form the very essence of the Jewish faith (e.g., the imagined Covenant). Also overlooked is the fact that some of the sayings (especially in Mark) "ascribed" to Jesus are there for no other reason than for the benfit of the early Church. Jesus, the greatest miracle wonder worker of all time, hardly gets a mention in ancient history, the Talmud mentioning him only disparigingly. Describing Jesus as God is an invention, one that is highly disrespectful to that man who walked the earth. Why? Because he is honoured for what he was not! Yet the scholarly study of the Bible is probably one of the greatest pleasures in life.
Ramon Casha
Jun 23rd 2011, 13:01
We atheists don't burn Bibles. Doing so would only put more profits into the pockets of the ones who produce them :)
Mr Patrik Larsson
Jun 23rd 2011, 13:19
What if they are Gideon ones?
Mr Charles Bayliss
Jun 23rd 2011, 12:49
@ Marvic Camilleri
It is not the common man in the street at is intolerant, my partner and I have experienced very friendly and caring neighbours wherever we lived in the last 7 years we've been together. As you said they discrimiate positively in favour of us.
It is people with the cassock (and not all) and most politicians who play with their conscience (I don't need to mention anybody by name as we all know who they are) that are intolerant towards us. Recently there was a report of a very high up politician who's words were full of homophobia, and this same person professes the LOVE OF GOD. We are children of God too.
Michael Seychell
Jun 23rd 2011, 15:54
Mr Charles Bayliss it seems that whilst the three political parties are 'accepting' gays in their organisation, the P.N. and A.D. gay persons are in the mainstream of the Party like all other members, whilst only the M.L.P. decided to put them in a Labeled Group and not as part of the mainstream.
I hope no one will tell me that there is the youths section, ladies , or the senior citizen sections, because each one of these groups can have gay persons, and in the MLP's case the gay youths, ladies or old persons will have to leave their their group and be 'accepted' only in the labeled gay group.
How is that for a progressive and democratic Leader and Party!
Michael Seychell
Tal-Pieta
Charlie Borg
Jun 23rd 2011, 21:14
@ Michael Seychell: 'gay persons are in the mainstream of the Party like all other members'. Are you so sure? Are THEY so sure that they are not merely being used?
Of course, I am referring to the gay members that are 'out' and not any other gay politician who for reasons known best to himself continually refuses to admit he's gay even when he paints the city red, at times, and continually votes in a way that goes against the interests of the gay community.
Marvic Camilleri
Jun 23rd 2011, 11:26
It is false to pretend that just because gay persons are not bashed, this country is a great for any minority to exist. I appreicate that there is a level of acceptance, but tollerance and equality are so different from each other.
The avarage Maltese person tollerates a gay couple in his nieghbourhood, and some go beyond and discriminate possitively against them, giving them special treatment just because they are gay. We are getting used to this new reality which is obviously much more comfortable than the reality that existed 20 years ago when a gay person used to be actually picked on or even beaten.
But let's not kid ourselves or settle at this reality as if it is an ideal state of being. It is only legislation in line with other European countries that eases the way so that equality starts to be considered. Yes by that I mean, marriage in full rights and whatever else follows that a hetrosexual can do and a gay person cannot.
It is difficult to accept any argument being made by the likes of Joseph Muscat who puts the ifs and buts at the same time that he pretends to be proposing change. Quite frankly Gonzi PN's silence is less harmful.
Mr Charles Bayliss
Jun 23rd 2011, 10:58
Very well said Alex.
Two quotes I heard from New Yorkers who are awaiting their right to get married:
1. Government should not tell you who to love and who to marry
2. Loving and marrying somebody is a fundamental right as much as when one has to vote.
These wise words reflect the situation for us gays in Malta. Long live love and the right to love who we want.
Kenneth Cassar
Jun 23rd 2011, 09:35
You'll find more support among atheists than among the so called "religious". And we don't burn "Holy Books". We leave that to Christian and Muslim fundamentalists.