Therapy to couples in distress

It is strange that since the divorce debate started there has been very little reference to assisting married couples in distress as opposed to just giving them or not the opportunity, by law, to divorce. The two interviews with the leaders of the pro- and anti-divorce lobbies in The Sunday Times (May 22) proves this.

The pro-divorce lobby made reference to attempts at reconciliation before getting a divorce and this is included in the proposed legislation for the introduction of divorce and in the referendum question itself. But they hardly ever expand on this and suggest how reconciliation could, and should, work and what services should be provided. They just hammer on what they call the urgent need for Parliament to enact divorce legislation for a small minority who would want to do so.

Some months back, a leading member of the pro-divorce lobby, Martin Scicluna, after a lot of persuading, finally promised to write also in The Times on marital reconciliation services. He had also undertaken to do so when he submitted his long report on remarriages many months ago as director general of the Today Public Policy Institute. But, to my knowledge, he never kept his promise and did not write any articles on the merits and operation of reconciliation services in The Times, where he has written many articles on the urgency to provide divorce legislation.

Very lately, I heard psychiatrist David Cassar doing a spot on TV on behalf of the anti-divorce lobby where he stressed the need for these kind of services because, as he said, many married couples do reconcile their differences and stay together when offered such services.

Another very important speaker psychiatrist, Anton Grech, also emphasised the great importance of providing family therapy to married couples in distress during the seminar on the individual, the family and the economy held recently.

Three leading parliamentarians in the Labour Party – Marie-Louise Coleiro Preca, Carmelo Abela and Justyne Caruana – lately tabled a motion in Parliament to set up a Special Committee of the House to study and make recommendations to Parliament on the well-being of the family. This, and more, was elaborated upon by Ms Coleiro Preca and Mr Abela lately in one of the anti-divorce lobby activities.

Lately, the former Commissioner for Children, Sonia Camilleri, emphasised the need for these services also in an activity of the anti-divorce lobby.

When I wrote to Edwin Vassallo, the chairman of the Social Affairs Committee of Parliament, about the great need of marriage counselling, family therapy and psychotherapy services to married couples in distress, he assured me the committee would make such recommendations to Parliament.

It is known that the Prime Minister is also in favour of more investment in the provision of these services by the government.

In last Sunday’s joint pastoral letter on the divorce referendum, the Maltese bishops expressed their commitment that “...as a gesture of love towards those who are suffering and towards future generations, we must together try to improve the conditions of marriage and the family so these hurts may be diminished”. I was struck by the word “together” in the bishops’ call for more commitment to help married couples in distress.

Towards the end of The Sunday Times interview, Andrè Camilleri, the leader of the anti-divorce lobby, did say: “I am talking about helping people not to have marriage breakdown.”

In this scenario, it is suggested that the Moviment Żwieġ bla Divorzju takes the initiative to bring together those who want, and can, provide these healing services to married couples in distress, especially the Ministry of the Family and the Foundation for Social Welfare Services, before considering winding up, as it said it would, when the result of the divorce referendum is known.