Children suffer ‘with or without’ divorce

Dragging children’s suffering into arguments to support a pro- or anti-divorce stand is unfair and unrealistic, according to Joe Gerada who has worked in the field of social welfare for more than 20 years.

Mr Gerada felt the need to speak out because he has witnessed children’s suffering at first hand, and the way they were being used in the debate was too “simplistic”.

“In truth, children are suffering today and it is unfair to give them the impression that a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ vote will solve their problems,” he said.

“If people really care for children’s welfare let’s not just pay them lip service. Instead, let’s look at how we can act. What are the policy measures that society can take to reduce their suffering?” he said.

Mr Gerada, who was CEO of the Foundation for Social Welfare Services and worked with several social agencies, points to the absence of state marriage preparation courses and how the lack of a proper sex education policy is leading to babies being born out of wedlock.

He also questioned why few batted an eyelid that some 300 children were condemned to live long years in institutions, when it was their right to live in a family; or those being raised in environments exposed to violence, drugs or usury.

“In essence, let’s respect children. We raise the downfalls they face from time to time, but there is rarely a public outcry. Now, they are being brought to the fore in the divorce debate,” he said.

Mr Gerada – who was raised by his two parents in a secure household but lost his wife when she was 45 – believes children need stability for their development.

While this was ideally provided for by their natural family, it was not the only environment for their growth.

“We see children flourish when they are taken out of their disruptive families and fostered, which goes to prove that it’s not the legal or blood ties they need for them to develop, but the love and presence of those who raise them.”

Too many times, he said, teachers had to double as social workers when the negative atmosphere in homes and friction between parents led them to manifest their unhappiness at school.

Mr Gerada would not be drawn on his views on divorce, as he felt it was unjust to use his experience in the field to influence people.

“I have faith in society’s ability to distinguish between information and manipulation and how to recognise the realities.”