First things first: deal with the demons of separation

Before we indulge into a new abyss named divorce, we should first deal with the issue of separation and its everlasting demons! When a marriage truly fails one seeks a way out, and that only way out is at the moment called separation.

The problem with separation is that it is not all that one imagines it to be! One can only speak of the experience of such a useless episode in their life after they have been through it. Separation contracts are worth nothing in court no matter how much it cost you at the lawyer thinking you were providing your children and yourself with some sort of security; think again it does not work like that at all!

What you get after a separation is meaningless hours at a Family Court which can last up to eight hours until your name is finally called out; only to last a few momemts in court. During those few memorable moments the magistrate will end up telling your ex-husband that he must pay some sort of maintenance. The ex-husband then comes up with some story that he has no work and there is nothing he can do. You then wait for a paper with an appointment for the following month; this will go on for as long as you put up with it, even over 20 years!

So should we not be attending to this issue first, before divorce? After all one must be separated for four years first anyway to be eligible to a divorce!

Why must a woman who has shamelessly decided to stay at home and be a full-time mother suddenly have to face a world where she must now become the only provider while the husband goes off and sees the children only for the weekend and sometimes not at all?

It is high time the so-called Family Court changes its old ridiculous ways and introduces some fines for the men who are literally getting away with it while the women are left with the heavier burden. It is not fair at all.

Of course not all cases are the same, however I have spoken to many people in all the hours I wasted waiting in court and most of the stories are similar.

It’s easier to leave things as they are of course (think of all the men who would land in prison if the magistrate were to start punishing them all properly) but things should not stay as they are and sooner or later they will have to change.

Divorce may come with a guaranteed maintenance only for a proportion of the people in Malta who can afford it while the rest will keep doing what they have been doing for years – nothing!