No point in divorcing ourselves from reality

I am among those who do not feel that a referendum should be used to guide our legislators whether or not to introduce divorce legislation, however the referendum question is formulated. Whether to seek divorce or not in their particular circumstances is for individuals to decide, not for a majority to impose.

The individual is always in a minority. Divorce is a personal decision arising out of one’s circumstances, specifically, a failed marriage.

Divorce, like consensual or legal separations, does not cause marriages to fail. It is the result of sad failure. To argue otherwise about what is purely and simply an individual right is to be in favour of the tyranny of the majority.

I am also among those who believe Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando jumped the gun, too hastily so, when he came up with his divorce Bill. Evarist Barolo joined him in that error later.

A more serene discussion over some more time would have been unjust to those who currently need divorce, but not as unjust as the position they will find themselves in if the referendum results in a ‘no’ vote.

The die is cast. A referendum will take place on May 28. Already, a fierce confrontation is being mounted. Not fierce in terms of physical violence. It is that because moral violence is very much about.

Inevitably, this being Malta, the referendum is being both politicised and opened to exploitation of the position of the Church.

Regarding this position there can be no doubt about it. The Church is against and does not recognise divorce. It is natural and necessary for it to stress that, without ever forgetting that it speaks for our God of Love, and not one that ferociously casts out sinners.

As Mater et Magistra the Church is obliged to teach. When the issue broke months ago Archbishop Paul Cremona candidly described Pullicino Orlando’s Bill as a bolt from the blue. That notwithstanding, he said the Church would not be embarking on a crusade. It would explain herself.

Sadly, it is doing far more than that. The position communicated to priests and, through them, to one and all, is first, that to divorce and remarry civilly is a sin, and secondly, to vote in favour of the divorce legislation motion is also a sin – even to abstain puts the faithful in that position.

The collective voice of the bishops is, to my mind, much harsher than the early gentle voice of Mgr Cremona. It is also unnecessarily so.

The referendum is about a civil matter, legislation which may or may not be availed of by individuals in a broken marriage.

It does not try to gainsay that the Church does not recognise divorce since the Catholic marriage is indissoluble.

What the bishops and the clergy should be focusing on is bringing the beauty of marriage closer to those in or preparing for it. By not focusing on that and instead drumming the sin factor, the bishops will be alienating more of the faithful who suffer marriage failure.

As far as I am concerned marriage – however celebrated – should be for always, through the good and not-so-good times, in sickness and in health. Unfortunately, it is not always that. When it breaks down, Catholics who wish to remain on the right side of their faith should not divorce and remarry.

Those who wish to have a second chance, their faith notwithstanding, must hope for the mercy of our God of Forgiveness. Others, who never had or have abandoned the faith, should not be denied civil access to divorce, and to the civil right to remarry.

This has nothing to do with Malta now being part of the EU, or being, along with the Philippines, the only other country that does not have divorce legislation – though it recognises divorce reached abroad by those who can afford to go through the expense involved in that.

Nor should it have anything to do with political parties.

It is farcical for a party to be stridently against divorce and then give its MPs a free vote on it, blatantly to mitigate potential political cost.

Everybody, believers and practising or not, should promote the family, and carefully explain what its foundations consist of, mostly on the basis of love and forgiveness. Nobody should arrogate to oneself the right to tell others what to do.

As it is, those who are happily or accommodatingly married will be voting to impose their views on those less unfortunate individuals whose marriage breaks down.

And, should they have any qualms about doing that, the bishops are telling them they must vote, possibly thereby falling foul of the legal corrupt practices provision which came in force after the politico-religious dispute of the terrible 1960s.

Whichever way the referendum goes, we live in sad times. More sadly still, again whatever the referendum result, the Church in Malta will lose out.