Don’t divorce marriage from divorce

From time to time, the divorce issue comes to the forefront. As a society, we are still unsure whether or not we should introduce divorce in our statute books. This uncertainty may have originated from the fact that we are predominately Roman Catholic and the Church is dead set against divorce. However, in recent years, I feel the uncertainty is also derived from the fact that the number of those in favour of divorce and deem it beneficial to our society have increased dramatically. There are certainly social and political implications linked to the introduction of divorce in Malta and religion that cannot be ignored.

Advocates for divorce argue that divorce is found all over the world. This is of course a fact and as a small country we normally follow what other countries do. The natural question then is why should we not emulate the rest of the world and introduce divorce? I believe our reluctance is derived from the fact we are very well aware of what takes place in other countries and that most of these countries’ ills are derived from the fact that there is no strong social framework. The concept of a traditional family is no longer held in high esteem.

The Maltese still believe the nucleus of the family is extremely important. We still consider the fact that a family consisting of a married couple with children as the ideal state of affairs. Having said this, we are all well aware that Malta has its share of unsuccessful marriages and that people are finding solutions outside marriage. We are also all aware of family break ups. Most of us have friends or relatives who have faced this highly emotionally charged experience. As a lawyer, I have witnessed clients who go through a roller coaster of emotions. More often than not, both parties are shocked, feel betrayed, uncertain of the future for themselves and their children.

We do not live in a perfect society and we should definitely not sweep these problems under the carpet. Listening to certain cases one cannot but be compassionate and the last thing we need is politicians who bury their head in the sand and ignore the pain these people go through. However, politicians have another role and that is to plan for the future. Politicians are not only there for the five years they are elected for. Politicians have the power and the responsibility to shape the future during those five years.

How do we want to see society in 20 years’ time as a result of decisions taken today? What type of society will our children inherit?

Many political decisions, especially of a social nature, have influenced our way of life and our way of reasoning. Political decisions on social benefits, housing, education and health care have been taken decades ago and developed over time.

Hence, in the divorce debate, politicians must bear in mind not only the problems in marriages today but also how their decisions will influence society in 20 years time and beyond. Will children who are just starting school find a marriage friendly society or will they take up other trends prevalent in the world where marriage is an optional detail in a relationship?

I am a strong believer in the institution of marriage and I acknowledge we have left the foundation of marriage to the strong influence of the Catholic Church and other religions. Marriage should also be a social, political and economic institution. Marriage makes social and economic sense.

Are there any figures available on how much the state spends on marriage breakdowns? How much do we spend on social housing due to separations? How much do we spend on social assistance to separated wives and their children? How much do we spend on school facilitators for children distracted at school because of what is happening at home? All those who are separated or have had marriage problems aspire that their children would not go through the traumas they went through and would have happy marriages or relationships. How are we going to achieve this?

The debate on divorce should be a good opportunity to embark on a national project to promote strong marriages. Strong marriages do not mean they are perfect but marriages that can and will withstand the turbulence of life, something that does not exist today. We should influence future generations through education and state aid to organisations that promote strong marriages. A few weekly meetings at Cana prior to Roman Catholic marriages are not enough to prepare couples for marriage in a society assailed with other influences.

I consequently believe we should have a national debate on the institution of marriage and how we can offer society a better platform. Limiting the debate to divorce will certainly not achieve this. Let’s discuss marriage, without a priori excluding divorce. I am against a referendum because, basically, all that will be discussed and decided upon in a referendum is whether or not Malta should join the rest of the world and have divorce, without a concrete plan to promote strong marriages. If this were to happen, we would have lost a golden opportunity because reality dictates that once divorce is introduced politicians’ attention will be focused on the next issue.

Dr Mifsud is a member of the Nationalist Party’s executive committee.