Tradition’s emancipation to pole dancing

There are good and bad traditions. Obviously, the good ones must be kept and the bad ones discarded. Among those that must be retained, there are the ones providing harmless, noiseless entertainment and physical education at the same time.

One such tradition is the ġostra – probably etymologically related to the Maltese expression of euphoria or frustration ostra. For visitors who are not familiar with our traditions, this consists of challenging a slippery pole by moving around it and sliding up and down on it. It is pure entertainment for the whole family and its controlled noise levels ensures the neighbours are not disturbed.

At the same time, I see no harm in the modification of traditions in adaptation to modern trends in society. For example, a daddy who used to have a daughter for marriage used to place a flower-pot with a geranium in it on the window sill as a signal he wanted to get rid of, er to give away, his sweet girl to the highest bidder. Nowadays, it often happens that the geranium is replaced by a cactus – to adapt to the realities of life and the present hollering for divorce for prickly reasons.

The ġostra nowadays is often replaced by a smaller pole, which has the advantage of being installed in a residence, office or club. But this change does not matter, after all, what’s in a pole?

Several local councils, schools and clubs have introduced this cultural-sportive activity on their premises and, especially during the cold months of winter, people flock to participate in this warming, indoor entertainment. Indeed, the education authorities are promoting pole exercise and discouraging tombola because this is physically and intellectually inferior – apart from the fact that it only produces a vast derrière in comparison to modern pole dancing ġostra, which transforms citizens into lean, healthy, discerning individuals.

But all is not as simple and harmonious as it seems. Some strict traditionalists, sometimes unkindly called fundamentalists, have taken exception to the modernisation of the ġostra and have actually vehemently called for its elimination. This has already happened in one political club where the pole was removed angrily and energetically by central administration – to the consternation of the young and old who had even organised competitions, leagues and championships in this cultural sport. Some people are real spoilsports and they cannot tolerate the happiness of others. This intolerant attitude is in American called “shift disturbing” and in Maltese it is said of a person of this type that “kollox jagħtih f’għajnu” meaning the enjoyment of others is a pain in his eye.

The naïve persons who are hostile to pole dancing in political clubs have absolutely not understood that this activity also serves as a legs-on experience to political training in political science courses. Why naïve? Isn’t it obvious there is a more or less subtle rapport between dancing, twirling, climbing, sliding and politics? Why do you think the Speaker of the House has appealed for Parliament to be more “vibranti” (vibrant)?

So, for the sake of sanity and evolution, please bring the pole back.

Arms folded

Twisting and turning may also take place in our socio-economic life. Unlike pole-dancing, it may be involuntary and forced. The Prime Minister has recently criticised the electricity billing company ARMS Ltd for not being sufficiently organised and sensitive with customers. Many were made to wait long hours at its offices hoping for some service with folded arms and twirling fingers as if customers have nothing else to do all day. The Prime Minister appealed for this matter to be improved with more active customer care. Perhaps bills will not heap up followed by a warning of percentage penalty if not paid with alacrity and enthusiasm.

At the carousel

At a Charles de Gaulle airport carousel, my friend and I waited quietly far from the maddening crowd milling at bag exit source. Still three boys pushed us and pulled us. I told my friend their parents were psychologists. His answer was “Imagine if they had been Neanderthals!”

At the Malta airport carousel, a tourist rode roughshod with his trolley over the feet of another passenger. When the latter complained, the tourist punched him in the face. Later in court he apologised. Thank heavens he did not expect the victim to apologise!

Paid by the CIA

Fidel Castro still makes interesting comments from time to time, so we don’t think he is in total retirement. This is refreshing as we had got used to hear his comments for decades of quasi permanent leadership. Some time ago he divulged that Bin Laden is paid by the CIA. Maybe Bint Laden too? Come to think of it, maybe also lots of people we know?

Dr Licari is a researcher in multiculturalism.