Divorce. Everyone is sounding off on the subject, so why not I? I have been wed for 54 years and marriage has been a great privilege and a pleasure, and has been no problem for either myself or my wife or our family. When I was being brought up (which was in a village in Scotland) marriage was for life and everybody knew it and acted accordingly.

I was only a boy when King Edward the Eighth took up with Wallis Simpson but I can remember how scandalised were the grown-ups. It was followed shortly afterwards by my favourite uncle marrying a divorced lady (a victim of domestic violence). We did not know what to say or think, we were so shocked. It was not a good match, but the war threw us all together, and the marriage lasted the distance with us all on friendly terms. In those days boy-girl relationships were all about marriage, and one did not court a lady unless one’s intentions were “honourable”. You surveyed the field and picked out someone with a similar background and values as yourself. You made sure you both knew each other properly and what your prospective partner and her family expected of the match.

However, love was a necessary component – my grandmother used to say, “don’t marry because you can live with the other person, only marry if you can’t live without them”. If there were doubts it was better to back off even if it was hurtful, rather than risk a lifetime of unhappiness. We come from an age when divorce was not an option – some relationships were better than others but people made their marriages work. The community worked to see that this was so, and was censorious of deviations. That is not to say that there were not scandals from time to time, and occasionally a couple would run away to be together.

I have seen many broken relationships, and in nearly every case the problem has been caused by infidelity. I know the hurt and bitterness that often ensues, and the damage it always does to the children. I have also seen the happiness that a change of partners can bring, though there is often a price to pay for that happiness.

Marriage is a three-way contract, a promise between the two partners and with God, and breaking a promise with God must be a sin. Mention sin and many people start getting hot under the collar and think you are attacking them personally. You are not, but there is no need to be mealy mouthed about it – making love outside marriage is either adultery or fornication and both are clearly sins. It may well be that one sin to prevent a greater sin may be forgiven, or that some sins are not of much importance, it is not for me to say. Everyone has a conscience and they should listen to it.

Treat your partner with respect, consideration, kindness and love. Spend as much time as you can together and share your lives. When you are tired and frustrated do not take it out on the loved one even if he or she may not offer as much sympathy as you think you deserve. Value what you have and do not turn to consolations offered elsewhere – back off at once before any damage is done.

I am a foreigner but I have lived for 18 years here in Malta, one of the last Christian countries to have no divorce, though sadly for practical reasons civil divorce may have to be made available. It is hard for deeply religious people to separate civil and social matters from religious and moral issues, and we should not be afraid to declare what we believe, say, the difference between right and wrong, good and evil. We should all try to live better lives, set better examples and try to help prevent tragedies in our midst.

Most Maltese are on the side of the angels, though, as my wife pointed out, the angels can see both sides of the question.