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It is our attitude which must undergo a change and not marriage - bishops

It is our attitude which must undergo a change and not marriage and Christians had the duty to fulfill their mission within society and spread the good news, Archbishop Paul Cremona and Gozo Bishop Mario Grech said in a pastoral letter.

They said that when Jesus was asked about divorce 2,000 years ago, he enlightened them on the beauty of everlasting marriage and highlighted the way this could be achieved.

He explained to them that it was not possible to embrace a value and at the same time concede to a reality which went against that value.

Jesus had tried to show the people how divorce alters the intrinsic nature of marriage.

“Once there is divorce, then one cannot speak of stable and everlasting marriage, as ordained by God from the very beginning: because divorce changes the very nature of marriage

“At no point does Jesus specify any form of condition or manner in which divorce could be instituted – he simply insists that once there is divorce, then there is a shift in the nature of marriage,” the bishops said.

Today, his answer would have been the same: “It is because of the hardness of your hearts”, Mgr Cremona and Mgr Grech said adding that “it is attitude which must undergo a change and not marriage”.

Other countries introduced divorce because they felt it would solve their problems related to marital breakdown, but instead, the problems multiplied.

The bishops said that it was not possible for Catholics to say that they loved their fellowmen unless they communicate to them the message of Jesus.

“We must serve Jesus by fulfilling our mission within society. The world may not accept His word yet it would have heard it… It is not an imposition but a contribution which we are offering to society.”

When faced with the words of Jesus, every Christian had to shoulder responsibility and participate in the mission of fulfilling and protecting His teachings.

“We appeal to all Christians, be it in their calling as Christians as well as in their role within society, to spread the words of Jesus as part of their mission,” they said.

www.maltadiocese.org

Their whole letter, in Maltese or English, may be read in the pdf links below.

Attached files

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V.Borg

Oct 18th 2010, 11:03

Well there is no mutual love when one partner is gay. Yes it could have been easier for the other partner if the gay person came out before getting married but you can't question the reasons why until you are in their shoes. If everyone thinks once divorce is accepted that it would be easy to just separate from their partner then why is there separation? People are separating already so again if people don't want divorce then dont get divorced. I would like to know if one day when divorce is legal if a person who is aginst divorce actually gets divorced because of whatever reason. Wouldn't He/She be thankful to us who gave them the right to.

Karl Farrugia

Oct 18th 2010, 14:20

I think the issue here is that our notion of divorce and, alas, the outside world, is too heavily influenced by what the "popolin" picks up from US TV serials and E! Entertainment Channel. They watch the "reports" about some random degenerate celebrity divorces, and take it for granted that it's how everyone does it. Then the geniuses at the Catholic Church butt in, and the average Joe and Maria have a perfect mix of useless information to fuel the ignorance. Taking your example, I think it's the Church that needs to change its attitudes towards everyone and everything, including gay people. It's thanks to their bigoted views on sexuality that stigmatises homosexuals, making them feel obliged to "fit in", and end up getting married. It's NOT as easy as saying it "before the wedding".

J.V.Micallef

Oct 17th 2010, 11:38

It depends on the chick.....she may prefer to cohabit, with the hassle of having to go through a ceremony, which failed for her in the first place, and has the experience of how complicated it is to go through the process of separation, annulment and what not. Do you think that married men who separate are really, really anxious to get married again ? They want to go to bed not the Registry Office !

victor pulis

Oct 17th 2010, 12:37

As i said in my comment. Everything should be tried to reconcile the couple before the painful step of divorce is taken as a last resort. But what happens when the marriage is irrevocably broken? I'm sure that when divorce is introduced in Malta it will not be on the model of Hollywood or Las Vegas. It will be as hard (or as easy) to get as unnallment.As for lies and perjury. This could also happen when one files for annullment. The church bases its case on what the partners say. I assure you, The state has an interest to study each case individually.
I also said that the problem is not always another person (or chick as you described her!) There are a million problems which can cause an insurmountable rift between married couples and as you rightly said, it's a complicated matter.

Mike F Abbot

Oct 17th 2010, 13:16

"i can't accept the idea of divorce just because after years of marriage i lost the excitement which a new chick can provide."

i agree with the statement, per se, but think this idea of divorce is part of the problem. There is a massive difference between the need for divorce and peoples attitude to divorce, as this statement suggests.

If we, as a society, makes marriage trivial, we make divorce trivial but the error is not in introducing divorce - the error is in making marriage easy. The church, by the way, happily push people into marriage without giving them time to really see if they can live together. I'm talking about co habitation here - actually LIVING together. So many problems can be dealt with at this point without entering into a binding relationship. The church, on the other hand, would rather people bought a house, got married and then try living together.

So yes, an attitude change is needed but I think it's the church's attitude that needs to change as much as anybody elses.

Karl Farrugia

Oct 17th 2010, 18:34

Your lack of research on the topic is astounding, Mr. Attard.
Research shows that the major reasons for divorce are marital unfaithfulness (i.e. the faithful partner filing for divorce due to the unfaithful partner), financial issues, lack of a sex life, abuse/alcoholism/drug addiction etc. (i.e. a dysfunctional partner), or major life traumas.

Divorce due to "being fed up of my wife/husband" are a very small minority.

I think a comment like yours highlights the deep ignorance this country is living in, and the surprising lack of information the population is given on any given topic that might have a remote interest is someone's agenda.

victor pulis

Oct 17th 2010, 12:45

And no in laws!!

edwin formosa

Oct 17th 2010, 10:32

They are trying to force Christians to introduce divorce in their country.

victor pulis

Oct 17th 2010, 12:44

How are 'others' forcing catholics to introduce divorce? No one is putting a gun to anyone's head. In a referendum everyone should vote according to his/her conscience, in the case of catholics according to the church's conscience. No problem there. But that the church insists that even non catholics or non believers are bound to obey the church, that's where it gets interesting.

B. Cachia

Oct 17th 2010, 16:21

@ Edwin Formosa: This country belongs to all its citizens and not to some of them only. The rest of the population who do not share your views are not your property or subjects. So no one is taking anything away from you or forcing you to do anything. You, on the contrary, appear to want to impose your own preferred way of life on other people.

edwin formosa

Oct 17th 2010, 09:59

If at the moment, when there is no divorce, yet a great number of separations occur, what would you logically expect meta flok ghoqda naghmlu rabta coff ghall kumdita ta l-egoisti ?

j quintano

Oct 17th 2010, 21:14

@ victor pulis et al
Why do all of you keep saying that reality is that marraiges are breaking up. Although i cannot disagree with this, i also have to mention that there is also a MUCH BIGGER reality going on ie of husbands and wives work and stay together despite all the difficulties. Do you really think that in healthy marraiges there are no challenges or everyday temptations? yet both husband and wife communicate with each other and try to solve their everyday problems. we as catholics should know better that through Jesus, problems will be solved and crisis will be overcome. from these comments it is clear that we have already GIVEN UP on making marraiges healthy. That is why as i stressed before in another comment, there has to be a good preparation for marraige from both parts. Only through this solid foundations are laid.

victor pulis

Oct 18th 2010, 19:39

@ J Quintano I started my comment by agreeing with the bishops that marriages should be prepared for and strengthened. But I also said that some, not all fortunately, fail and this is the reality. No matter how hard one tries some marriages, and they are on the increase whether we admit or not, break up irrevocably. No amount of prayer or councelling succeed in bridging the gap. The church itself accepts separation as a 'solution' in these cases. It is for such cases that divorce should be an option for those who want to use it. Finally, Now if you want to keep deluding yourself into thinking that whenever one prays one receives you are free to do so. I for one prefer to see the facts.

Paul Barrett

Oct 17th 2010, 09:52

And just how do you propose that the Government legislate for responsible marriage.

You really think that the elected Government of the day should be responsible for the daily running of the family home, for the intimate relationship between man and wife. Are you proposing "arranged marriages"?

It is already over the top interference that it is proposed that there should be "responsible" divorce. Why is it that there seems to be so much involvement and oppression on the personal lives and relationship of others - Why make life so difficult for others less fortunate in marriage.

Legal separation already sorts out the split up of the family, all their finances, possessions and welfare of the children. These unfortunate adults are then prevented from forming a new legally recognised family unit by virtue of a civil marriage. This is where the Government should step in and pass legislation to allow (for those that wish to do so) a civil marriage following legal separation with as little bureaucratic interference as possible.

Let adults be adults and take some responsibility for their own life and relationships rather than throw the responsibility of the Government.

victor pulis

Oct 17th 2010, 09:58

Does annullment give the right to someone to take another person'sspouse?
You will answer that annullment annuls(!) a marriage that never was(!) What about the fruit of such non marriage? How is annullment different from divorce in the context of society?
Is separation not a break in the promise made before God that the two shall beas one flesh? The church accepts separation.

edwin formosa

Oct 17th 2010, 10:12

Even if this is only a state issue (which is not) the chruch and all of the bishops and the pope and the priests and all the fundamentalist blind followers are certainly not irrlevant. They are at least citizens as the church haters who want us to legalize their immoral lifestyle.

edwin formosa

Oct 17th 2010, 10:23

Yes Mr Flynn, we shall remove that ridiculous Article 2 from our Constitution and put your odious letter instead.

Paul Barrett

Oct 17th 2010, 00:19

An excellent comment and very well expressed. However unfortunately not everyone is able to take the strain and marriages do unfortunately flounder. For those couples that have been unable to overcome the difficulties there is currently only the possibility of annulment or legal separation. It is the latter that is the current problem, they need and deserve a further chance of the happiness that can be found in marriage. The current doctrine leaves the legally separated individuals as outcasts from society based on deep rooted fundamentalist religious beliefs imposed by spiritual fear on the many to the detriment of the few. Yes the mentality has to change as society has changed. Separated individuals must be allowed the option to find happiness and marry again as a right and for the good of social cohesion.

The real question to be answered:

Is Malta a secular state or still ruled in spiritual fear exclusively by one branch of the Christian faith.

martin saliba

Oct 16th 2010, 22:48

What about couples without children. Would you grant them divorce or would you conjure upanother lame excuse ?

edwin formosa

Oct 17th 2010, 02:39

Leo tell martin saliba that ' the trauma of children being separated from a parent ' is far from a lame excuse.

victor pulis

Oct 17th 2010, 09:11

Would you prefer to see a mother being beaten black and blue every night by her husband? Would you prefer to see a father with another woman?
Would you prefer to have a father who beats you up for just opening your mouth?
Does annullment solve these problems?

David Pulis

Oct 16th 2010, 22:30

Its not up to you nor the Church to deny the right to civil remarriage if one decides to do so (i.e divorce)

J QUINTANO

Oct 16th 2010, 22:42

YOU ARE 100 PERCENT RIGHT

I. Galea

Oct 17th 2010, 09:40

If you think that couples get married with a plan to break up after 5 years, you need to wake up and smell the coffee. Most people ARE committed when they get married, but tough times are not always easy to handle. Domestic violence, Child abuse, Gambling, Addictions, these are just to mention a few of the things we can't have guessed before marriage. A spouse going through hell despite making that commitment should not have to endure all that misery just because of a stubborn religion with regulations well past their sell-by date.

B. Cachia

Oct 16th 2010, 21:38

That, of course, is the Catholic view of marriage. However, remember that poeople should be allowed to choose your view of marriage of their own free will, not have it imposed on them.

JOSEPH ZAMMIT

Oct 16th 2010, 21:47

And Lo and behold, the oracle of Malta has talked.
I wonder why the hundreds of million Christians in Europe do not see it his way? Can they be wrong and only he is right?
Divorce will become law as it is a right. To dissolve a marriage should not remain the monopoly of the church and the Maltese, like their European cousins, are starting to understand the issue.
Divorce or not, couples will still separate. The only interest the church has against divorce is not what Jesus preached, but the income money it will lose from annulments.
Divorce will become a law like in Europe and in Catholic Ireland.

Paul Barrett

Oct 16th 2010, 22:19

Wow Joe, a new script - well done. Can't wait until you finish reading the Harry Potter books.

edwin formosa

Oct 17th 2010, 03:14

B.Cachia people should be allowed to choose any view of marriage of their own free will, not have it imposed on them. But when views regarding marriage are to become laws of the country then everybody has the right to be involved. We are speaking about the future of our families. And if most of us want to adhere to the traditional view, then democracy comes in. Mhux ha nhallu ivvizzjati,falluti, kappriccuzi u bla sinsla morali jaddattaw il-ligijiet ta pajjizna ghall-kumdita taghhom. Dawk li qed jinqdew b'kazi doloruzi ta vittmi ta abbuzi fiz-zwieg ghal l-iskop ta mohhom, mhumiex il-vittmi imma l-aggressuri.

victor pulis

Oct 17th 2010, 09:17

Joe come down to earth and speak in a language that is realistic. No idyllic vision will erase the fact that marriages sometimes break down irrevocably. That is why the church accepts separation which is not according to Jesus' teaching. To abandon each other is also a sin according to the gospel. The commitment is broken even by separation. The couple is no longer 'one flesh' Not to mention the catholic form of divorce that is annullment. An invention of the catholic church to serve as a loop hole for Jesus' commandment.

B. Cachia

Oct 17th 2010, 10:12

@ Edwin Formosa: Yes, Catholics have the right to be involved, obviously. However, the laws of the country should not impose a specific religious view on people nor, I think, are Catholics in any way obliged to attempt to ensure that other people are bound to live the Catholic way of life because they have to by law. In religious matters people should be allowed by law to choose freely. To start with, remember that only 65% of marriages in Malta are currently taking place in the Church at all (Demographic Review 2009).

As for the motivations and situations of those 55%+ of the population who currently appear to support 'Irish' divorce legislation, I really don't know and cannot speak for them. The tendency, however, is that support is stronger among those who are younger and better educated. The numbers alone should make it quite clear that they are not some marginal group but the mainstream of our society.

edwin formosa

Oct 16th 2010, 22:00

It is neither funny nor paradoxical really, Andrew. It is hypocricy and hatred for the Catholic Church because it is the last bastion of hope against a materialistic world that craves immorality at every step not only divorce but homosexuality, abortion, radical feminism, contraception, embryonic stem cell research & cloning.....

Raphael Dingli

Oct 17th 2010, 07:48

@edwin - be serious edwin - is there anything that the curch orders or suugests that you do not agree with - have you not got your own brain? or is it a case of the church telling you to jump and you responding by asking - how high?

Caroline Said

Oct 17th 2010, 02:04

@C.Brincat...well said! nail hit on head! bishops and other eccleasiastical reps hard-elbowing people to spread the word of Jesus and obey his teachings when they themselves dont practice one of Christ's principal teachings: beware of acumulating wealth! Individual priests may not accumulate weath but they are part of an institution that does.Can any person claim to be a vegetarian when they have a lifetime membership to an Angus Steakhouse restaurant chain?

Joe Zammit

Oct 16th 2010, 21:12


Who can say have more love than Christ? Notwithstanding this, he ordered (not advised) us never to resort to divorce because divorce is evil, divorce goes directly against God's plan in creating marriage. This is love. Those who advocate divorce hate society and please the devil not Christ. Divorce is harmful to one and all.

Joe Zammit

Oct 16th 2010, 21:16


God has created us and he has created marriage. So we have no right to tell how marriage should be. God said that marriage is only between one man and one woman and for ever. This applies also to broken marriages. Marriage is for life, also is your marriage has failed. No man has the right to break God's plan on marriage. Otherwise he would only be ruining themselves. Let us all lovingly accept God's plan on marriage for the good of all of us and of the whole of society!

Paul Barrett

Oct 16th 2010, 22:10

@ Joe Zammitt.

No (battle) plan survives the first contact. Your interpretation of God's plan does not seem to be working for a large number of couples either. Time to change the plan and adapt or die.

I. Galea

Oct 17th 2010, 09:27

Well I'm not Catholic, so please refrain from shoving your beliefs down my throat. Thank you.

victor pulis

Oct 17th 2010, 09:27

Joe God did not create marriage. Marriag is asocial institution created by man when he started forming communities. There are many forms of marriage in the world not just the christian model because each community adjusts according to its culture. In genesis we read that everything that God created is good so why do marriages break up? Usually they do because of one of the partners. The other is an innocent victim. Can't you bring yourself to pity and empathise with this victim? is your god so heartless as to abandon these victims? That is one reason why I don't believe in your god. If I had to imagine God it would be as a loving, merciful entity who understandsand doesn't punish the victims. Your kind of god is one bent on punishment fear and indifference. Telling the victims to lump it and stick it out alone until they die is no solution.It is just adding to their misery.

Anton Portelli

Oct 16th 2010, 19:42

Agreed with you 100% Mr. Cortis. At the General election we voted for the elected Members of Parliament to govern the country not for the bishops. We voted YES in the Eu referendum so that we would have the same civil rights as all the other EU citizens not to remain slaves of the Maltese bishops. The bishops have a right to preach their teachings to the faithful catholics but have no right to impose their teaching on everyone whatever his or her beliefs and feelings are. If the majority of the Maltese are catholics they and the bishops do not have the right to impose the catholic beliefs not even on the minorities.

I. Galea

Oct 16th 2010, 19:31

Oh dear...Well then I suppose my fiance and I are doomed. Maybe if I kick him out it will help salvage our future marriage. Thanks for the heads up!

Joe Zammit

Oct 16th 2010, 21:17


Our dear bishops are completely right in what they have said.

edwin formosa

Oct 16th 2010, 19:13

No it isn't. The Gospel is Matthew Mark Luke and John.

M. Farrugia

Oct 16th 2010, 19:32

Please look in Matthew 19.6-8
"What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

Mike F Abbot

Oct 17th 2010, 13:01

sounds like a call for fundamentalism...

edwin formosa

Oct 16th 2010, 21:11

There is a big difference. No, not simply an invented excuse at all.

Joseph Calleja

Oct 16th 2010, 18:41

It makes a lot of difference. Annulment is controlled strictly by the church and it cost a lot of money, not to mention annulment makes it like nothing ever happened, not even kids. What we call a clean slate. On the other hand divorce in not controlled by the church and you can get married again. And if done right, like for instance No Fault Divorce, where a couple both agree to divorce, it cuts down on the expenses tremendously. You might even get the chance to remarry again and find happiness ever after with somebody else. Sometimes divorce is good..
Big difference between annulment and divorce.

edwin formosa

Oct 16th 2010, 18:58

Christians have no right to impose on others and others have no right to impose on Christians.

Joe Zammit

Oct 16th 2010, 21:18


Par. 2384 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

“Divorce is a grave offence against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death.

Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery:

If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery, and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another's husband to herself.”

Ramon Casha

Oct 17th 2010, 05:47

@Joe Zammit: Fine, then Catholics should not get a divorce if they agree with the church on this.

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