Bernard Muscat, Malta Gay Rights Movement, Mosta
Recognition of same-sex relationships
Mr J. Bonett Balzan (The Sunday Times, October 3) heaved a sigh of relief when acknowledging that the official visit of German Foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle did not involve also accommodating his male partner.
Heaven forbid Malta would ever have to bow so low as to consider same-sex partners of foreign dignitaries, or of anyone at all for that matter, as equal to any opposite-sex partners they may have!
As with most people building a flimsy case against same-sex relationships, Mr Bonnett Balzan takes the Church as his standard-bearer and blindly repeats its admonishments on the matter. We are told Pope Benedict said that “the Church cannot approve alternative models of the family”.
That is unfortunate, albeit hardly surprising – but lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people are not looking at the Church to bless their relationships, and neither are most other people, really.
Recognition of human relationships is a yarn for thestate to untangle – not for religions to choose to approve or disapprove of.
Moreover, the arguments about alternative family forms “weakening the principles of marriage” are as old as they are stale and baseless.
I suspect that Mr Bonett Balzan’s assumptions on same-sex relationships do not stem from real-life experiences, but from repeated traditions that human beings find so hard to challenge.
So if a few decades ago, gay people were looked upon as weird and were thought of as being repulsive to think of – let alone to consider befriending and accepting as equal – then those same outdated beliefs may persist today because they have not been actively challenged.
It is clearly much easier to fall in line with traditional beliefs than to try to build one’s own.
Another important point was overlooked in Mr Bonett Balzan’s letter. By opposing equal rights for same-sex couples, one is not protecting marriage.
Recognition of same-sex couples is not yet a reality in Malta, but a number of so-called ‘traditional marriages’ are still sadly disintegrating. Surely nobody can be so naïve, or so delusory to themselves and others, as to assume that traditional relationships are suffering because of the recognition of same-sex ones!
As to his reference to homosexual people in the Nazi regime, Mr Bonett Balzan should know that gay people were also one of the favourite targets of the Nazis. It is estimated that around 15,000 men died in concentration camps, with their only charge being that of being gay.
Gay inmates were forced to wear a pink triangle on their jackets to distinguish them from other detainees. The link of the colour pink with the gay community persists to this day, although very few are aware of its gruesome origins.
Mr Bonett Balzan’s haste to throw mud at LGBT people also has him accuse them of ‘flaunting’ their sexuality. That is just about as ridiculous as if I were to accuse a colleague of mine of flaunting his left-handedness when he signs a document.
There is nothing to flaunt. LGBT people live their lives regularly, just like their peers and siblings who are straight, with the only difference being that they have to struggle daily to be accepted as equal. The problem, in reality, is not same-sex attraction. It is the lies we have been taught about it.
Finally, if I feel like holding my partner’s hand – perhaps while walking shoulder to shoulder with my own brother as he holds his girlfriend’s – I will very well do so.
I apologise if I don’t rush to ask Mr Bonett Balzan for his righteous approval. He may choose to stare in astonishment, cover his eyes or scurry away in horror – but that’s his call.
If the thought of two adults in a committed and loving relationship makes him shudder, then that is very, very sad indeed.
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Joe Xuereb
Oct 12th 2010, 19:36
2) Picking on me will get them precisely nowhere. People, homosexuality is not a big deal and my pride in it is disallowed I am told by heterosexuals. Sure! But hey! I AM proud of it precisely because you resent my pride, because I am not supposed to be proud. Hets! you be concerned with your own pride and self-esteem and don't ride high at my expense. It won't work! I know it's not easy because you've never tried. But try you must if you are going to get anywhere in life. Putting it off is so not an option. It's time you did some homework. I've done mine and came up smelling of roses. Your turn now. I deal with muck, my relationships, my life. You do likewise. We're all in the same boat. And good luck to both contingencies. From where I'm standing we both need a lot of that. Good luck, I mean!
Joe Xuereb
Oct 12th 2010, 19:34
1) Well said Bernard Muscat.
Mainly heterosexual society does not look at its own sorry state and typically, finds scapegoats, downgrades a whole large section of society in order to come up smelling of roses (in Malta and elsewhere, incidentally). Such is the fragility of the insecure scapegoat-er.
The homosexual is oppressed and this is reflected in his view of himself and affects his quality of life. It is a hard struggle to survive this onslaught. Until one day he rises from the ashes and learns to see that what heterosexuality/family/begetting children is not what it purports to be - just look around you! - and that really, he should thank his lucky stars he's different. A 'mirfugh minn xaghru' as we say. In any case, 99.9% of hetero sexual encounters do not have procreation as an aim, so what's the difference?! Human sexual-drive is life's bugbear affecting ALL of us, hets or homos. I call this, as a homo, being happy by default. If straight people have a problem managing their urges, they should sort them out and not pick on me because I'm different.
continued.
S. Calleja
Oct 11th 2010, 00:39
It is clear that most of those who wrote the comments below are neither gay nor have a son/daughter who is.
Edward Caruana Galizia
Oct 10th 2010, 22:18
Well done Bernard Muscat. I read the letter you are referring to and I was appalled at how ignorant the author of it was.
Sadly, however, no matter how much we protest, the Catholic Church will always dig it s heels in and it s followers will insist they are right, and consequently the government and politicians etc will follow suit since the Church has quite a special place in the way Malta is run.
The latest addition of the Nazi argument just shows that their arguments are going to get more and more pathetic as they continue to clutch at straws. What will they think of next?
Perhaps these conservative bullies should save themselves the embarrassment and admit that they have no argument at all. Let's face it, the best they can do is say " but thats not how it was done in the past".
Many things that were done in the past are not done any more, like slavery. Need I carry on?
No gay person is against straight people from getting married. We are not against family. We just want the right to start our own.
Joseph Carmel Chetcuti
Oct 12th 2010, 03:33
Edward you should also have referred them to Matthew 18: 6. I wonder how many priests have hung a millstone around their neck and drowned themselves in the depths of the sea. And what does the Church do with deal. It deals with them gently on the basis of Canon Law. The shouts for the Supreme Pontiff to be tried in an international court are getting louder and louder. Robinson's The Case of the Pope is but one example.
Ken Cowan
Oct 10th 2010, 17:58
One definition of marriage = "joining", as in "Let us not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments"; those who are against using the word "marriage" for two men or two women are forgetting that there is more than one meaning to this word. If they disagree, take it up with Shakespeare! Straight people do NOT have a monopoly on this word!
As for those who complain about "wiping out centuries of tradition", well, hey, more people follow the "tradition" of arranged marriages than those who marry for love. Should marrying for love be outlawed then, because of tradition? It is also "traditional" for women to stay in the kitchen, not run companies, and in many societies, accept excision of their genitalia as "normal". All these other "traditions" are now anathema, why should gays be the only ones left to suffer the vagaries of "tradition"? Anyone using "tradition" as an argument is automatically on shaky ground.
Before the Church, there was Jesus. HE said "Judge not that ye be not judged". He also said "Love they neighbor". The attitudes of the "religious" today towards gays seems to be the antithesis of true Christianity.
Pule' Carmel
Oct 10th 2010, 17:42
Please do not allocate and attribute any other meaning to RELATIONSHPS, other than that found in any good dictionary.
Before the universe was formed, there was a RELATION of some sort between some sort of enegies. RELATIONS, are what keep together all matter that form our universe, There are RELATIONS between humans and animals from Pet level as in the case of dogs and cats and budgies, to a working relation as in the case of horses mules etc. There are unpopular and popular RELATONS between Bulls and Matadors in Spain All these RELATIONS are approved in that everybody knows that they exist as many many more RELATIONS that make up our universe including Gravity relations which keeps spinning planets together in a relationship.
There is a special relationship, a unique relation between a man and a woman which we call MARRIAGE RELATION and we protect such a relationship because the future of humanity relys on such a special RELATIONSHIP. It is Unique and special and it should be kept that way, Anyway nature itself will protect it and it will eliminate other human relationships in one generation!! Get it?
melissa calleja
Oct 10th 2010, 22:54
It's you who does not get it.
The number of out-of-wedlock births and broken families is always on the rise. So when will Nature wake up and start protecting heterosexual marriage? Seems to me it has rather given up on it.
On the other hand, same-sex relationships are regaining the respect they enjoyed in ancient, pre-christian times.
Thousands of years ago there were Alexander and Hephastion, David and Jonathan. Try googling the Independent's Pink List and you'll see how many of today's most respected and admirable people are gay. They can marry their partners and show the world that you can stay together for 20, 50 years as long as you treat your spouse as your equal - a notion which still eludes many a straight man.
Nature cannot protect marriage because it NEVER created it. How typically male of you, all this blah blah but then expecting problems to solve themselves.
The only way to safeguard the future of marriage is parents setting a good example to their children.if marriages go on failing at this rate, how will our children even consider getting married themselves?
But apparently these people cannot be bothered. Just blame it on the gays.
Karl Busuttil
Oct 14th 2010, 13:01
It is interesting to read these comments, especially when it is obvious that the person in question is ill informed on the topic being discussed. So let me help you out and clarify a few points I enjoyed reading in your comment.
1) Your allusion that the gay phenomenon will be over by the end of the next generation is preposterous. The homosexual individual may be found in the history books as far back as ancient Greece probably even farther back in time. So please know the facts of what you are talking about before you insult so many people.
2) An other point I would like to make is that homosexuality is found in nature, such as dogs, cats, dolphins, whales and many more, not just humans. I say this since you so aptly mentioned animals that are found in nature. There is conflicting evidence but the lowest denominator that I have found to date (and I am no expert) in the research conducted, is that one in five people that are born are homosexual, so in being hateful to such people is quite an accomplishment considering the amount of people in question just in Malta.
rachel edwards
Oct 10th 2010, 17:25
i am a post op transsexual who comes to malta every year with my female partner .we get the stares and muttering behind our backs,but we get this at home as well.i think that attitudes need to change here but going on my knowledge of malta (going back to1966) it is going to be a long way in the future,good luck to all of you who are open and keep on fighting for your rights to a happy fulfilled life .
Joseph Calleja
Oct 10th 2010, 16:22
Mr Muscat, Malta cannot even fathom the idea of divorce. Do you really expect this little island to admonish their approval to LGBT? Hardly. As long as the church is in control not much will change. It is very hard for the church to let go of all that power it had in the fifties and again they are warning the congregation that if anybody favors divorce will be committing a mortal sin, and that includes MPs, Meps, judges, lawyers etc they will all be condemned according to Mgr Pillicino et al. So don't expect much sympathy and understanding from the church or otherwise.
Jacob Sammut
Oct 10th 2010, 14:07
Bernard Muscat you are free to engage in any relationship you want, but you can never call it marriage because marriage and the term marriage is reserved for persons of different sexes.
J Borg
Oct 10th 2010, 12:03
Mr Muscat. Since I got married, I could never tell my wife how gay I felt, but only how happy. That's because you hijacked the word 'gay' to your convenience. I hope that the time will not come when I will not be able to say that I have a family, because of your hijacking of that word as well! You are free to choose who to live with, and can call your union a 'relationship', 'friendship', or whatever you like. I hope that guy in India who married a cow two years ago does not expect to call HIS relashionship a 'family' as well.
You are not the ONLY people who do not look for a blessing from the church. There are others who do not ask for a church blessing for their activity, like drug addicts, criminals, racists. Or do you expect the church to bless these as well?? The church is MORALLY bound to keep to Jesus' teachings. Do you want to highjack HER teachings as well???
Gerry Cowie
Oct 10th 2010, 11:32
Dear Mr Angry,
You do not help your cause by suggesting, without foundation or factual proof, that most people are not looking to the church for a blessing on their relationship. That is your personal opinion.
You would do well also not to knock what you condescendingly refer to as "traditional marriages". You cannot wipe out centuries of tradition simply because they do not suit you. Tradition does not make something right or wrong in much the same way as the fact that just because this is the 21st Century does not mean that everything once considered wrong is suddenly right.
If you wish to carry people with you and promote your cause for equality then you might like to consider a less confrontational approach. Even if you feel that those who oppose you are confrontational, at least you can then argue your case more effectively by acting in the opposite manner.
Another problem with the nazis is that many of them were in fact homosexual themselves, and therefore they acted somewhat hypocritically in condemning others of their ilk to death.
We are all human and we all get things wrong sometimes!
Joseph Carmel Chetcuti
Oct 12th 2010, 03:24
Have I not heard this criticism before? It was levelled against us in the 1970s in Australia. It has repeatedly been levelled against me over a number of years. Yes we are angry. And neither you Cowie nor your lot will tell gay men and lesbians how to behave and what political strategy or strategies we adopt. We and only we will decide that ... and for the record there will be gays who will think like you. They are free to follow their own strategy. As for the rest of us who are 'angry' as you put it we will continue to fight hard.
"Another problem with the nazis is that many of them were in fact homosexual themselves, and therefore they acted somewhat hypocritically in condemning others of their ilk to death." Why the Nazis? I can think of not a few very high profiled Roman Catholic prelates who are as camp as a row of tents.
Ramon Casha
Oct 10th 2010, 11:16
Today's social disapproval of gay people reminds me of the similar treatment meted out to left-handed people (sinister lot aren't they?). Children would be punished for using their left hand to write or perform other tasks, and concerned parents sought all kinds of treatment to "change" their devil-possessed left-handed children into normal, right-handed kids.