Opening the door to divorce

In the current discussion on the possible adoption of divorce in our islands, two issues generally come up. One is whether religious belief should have a say in the discussion. The second is that of the common good, which should allow for the rights of minorities.

In case divorce is allowed, it is argued, those who believe it is bad will not be affected since it will not be forced on them; they will be free to make use of it or not.

To my mind, however, if the introduction of divorce helps the minority who need it, in the long run it will not be for the common good.

The argument I would like to suggest is very simple. As the law now stands, the door is shut tight, hermetically closed, to use a metaphor. The reason is that, so far, marriage has been considered as a permanent bond which is unbreakable.

Should one allow for divorce, even if for very exceptional reasons and with watertight conditions, that means one is no longer considering marriage as permanent.

To continue this analogy, the door is no longer locked, but has been opened just a little. Now, what will keep future legislators from amending the law so as to open that door even wider, till it becomes wide open for many other reasons, including not so “compassionate” ones?

Apart from being logically obvious, this has been proven by history. Just look at the countries which have allowed divorce for many years now and you will find that in many instances it is very easy to dissolve a marriage.

I am sure many readers have heard of cases where divorce is obtained even for frivolous reasons.

Some readers will say I am jumping to conclusions. But for me it is clear: if you can dissolve the marriage bond for any reason whatsoever you have irreversibly and radically changed the nature of marriage; it is no longer a permanent bond.

Sooner or later, this will become part and parcel of the mentality of future generations. A new attitude will prevail that marriage can be dissolved if it is convenient for the partners – even because one of the partners has fallen in love with another person.

What in the past used to support many couples, sometimes in very difficult times, will no longer be the case. Vows, if taken seriously, do not suffocate us, but actually free us because they give a clear direction to our life.

Unfortunately, this leaves unsolved the problem of the suffering of those whose marriage has irretrievably broken down. But in the long run, as I have tried to explain, divorce legislation will cause more havoc in our family system. Why do we have to repeat the mistakes of other countries?

Many talk of strengthening the family. But what are we really doing about it? What help is available to couples who need it? Perhaps more crucially: let us have a much better preparation of young couples. As one letter-writer stated recently, it is more difficult to get a driving licence than to get married!