Living gently

Today’s readings: Ecclesiasticus 3, 17-20.28-29; Hebrews 12, 18-19. 22-24; Luke 14, 1. 7-14.

Our daily living is governed by what Robert Wicks calls “silent rules” which need to be uncovered. In his book Living a Gentle, Passionate Life, Wicks writes that “rules upon which we do not reflect can take on a life and power of their own”.

This is dangerous to our spiritual and psychological health. Without noticing it, there is a schemer and an organiser within us, particularly where relationships are concerned.

The first reading provides wise advice on the need to carefully build a philosophy of life. This is what happens in the Gospel when Jesus is at table with one of the leading Pharisees, and while the guests closely scrutinise his outward observance of the law, Jesus himself observes the ‘silent rules’ that determine attitudes and behaviour.

On a Sabbath day surrounded by guests, presumably lawyers and other Pharisees, Jesus speaks of the virtue of the “lowest place”, or humility as opposed to pride. His attention is focused more on the inner virtues inspired by religion than on religious observance.

Jesus is here not giving advice concerning etiquette. We need to read between the lines to discover the wisdom of Christ’s prophetic message. Jesus addresses normal behaviour of worldly wisdom to subvert it to the radical demands of the kingdom. He challenges the conventional patterns of reciprocity and proposes the new measure of true virtue.

The first reading speaks of “the proud man’s malady”, and suggests as remedy a healing life philosophy, mainly through “the heart of a sensible man” and “the attentive ear”.

We are invited to seek perspective in life as well as to develop a strong, healthy inner life. This amounts to education of the heart, which is the antidote to the way we are led to think of ourselves and to falsely promote our image.

“The greater you are, the more you should behave humbly” – wise words in the first reading. Contrary to what has become normal practice on inter-personal, social and political levels, this should set the tone to our daily living and business.

Sir Walter Scott wrote: “We shall never learn to feel and respect our real calling and destiny, unless we have taught ourselves to consider everything as moonshine, compared to the education of the heart.”

Our heart is the frontier of our identity. At this point, the words of Jesus addressing the normal daily dynamics of behaviour serve as the criteria by which to observe and measure what happens inside in our heart.

Seeking honour and esteem in life is something sensible and commendable. But when that is sought at the detriment of others or at the cost of one’s own inner peace, then it makes us lose touch with our inner self and creates disharmony.

When egoistic needs take priority in our way of relating to others, or worse, when life becomes an ego trip whatever the cost, then true relationships cannot be built.

The ‘give and take’ principle has become too commercialised, even within our intimate relationships. All this makes us lose connection with ourselves and with others.

Probably this is one of the darkest sides of life in community today, making of our cities crowds of solitude and reducing our families to singles living under the same roof.

The Gospel story today makes us think and ask ourselves whether it is still feasible to live together without being so obsessed with what we’ve given and what in return we are receiving.

It is only through a desire to live authentically that we can create, in the place of pride, a space through which we may be led on a ourney where we are changed for the better.

Our true self is not necessarily the self we project to others or the self we think ourselves to be. As opposed to the false self of egocentric desires or the narcissistic self, the true self in God is gentle and passionate with both oneself and with others.