Vital sighs

Most of us remember Rhett Butler carrying Scarlett O'Hara up the stairs and then... nothing. This was done not because 'tomorrow is another day', or even for fear of the censors' scissors. It was merely done because it would have been considered inappropriate for the camera to enter the sanctum of the boudoir.

These days, of course, everyone tries to widen the goalposts, push the envelope and pass the buck, preferably at once, perhaps in the vain hope of increasing viewership, listenership and readership. The results are there for all to see.

However, it would seem that although the 'watershed' exists, it only does so for the visual media. Radio and newspapers, so far, have escaped scrutiny.

I will not go into, yet again, the demographics of those who listen to the 'station of the nation'. But I am vehemently objecting to the novel currently being read by Ġorġ Peresso on Radju Malta. In one episode, there was an unsubtle reference to bondage, which any children listening (yes, they do, even if it's only when they are at their grandparents' homes) might not have caught. Then, in another instalment, there was a prolonged episode of domestic violence incurred by one of the characters, owing to the insane jealousy of her husband.

Spare me the platitudes of how there are rumanzi and how such scenes are 'to be expected'. The fact remains that they are not to be broadcast before what would have been the watershed for television.

Sometimes, for that matter, it is something static on a television show that causes people to call in and complain, rather than action or a script.

People wrote in to complain to ITV about a screen shot in Emmerdale. It was one of those kitchen reminder blackboards which, for the purposes of the programme, contained someone's idea of what constituted a 'funny' shopping list. As the character Shadrach Dingle sauntered drunkenly through his nephew Marlon's kitchen, viewers were treated to a roll that included slang terms for sanitary towels and haemorrhoid ointment.

• Every so often (the same) people call (the same) radio programmes, complaining how (the same) people ought not to call (the same) radio programmes.

This happened again during yesterday week's afternoon sports and music magazine programme on Radju Malta. Someone, borrowing Magic's erstwhile slogan, said that programmes such as that one must be "more music and less talk". Someone else said that the constant chatter made the programme sound like a morning at a flea market ("fuq il-Monti").

Inevitably, someone else said this was the way he (the caller) and most other listeners wanted it to be. Mario Laus, not normally one to bite his tongue, forbore to tell the callers that if one wanted to listen to non-stop music, they might as well pre-programme their iPod, or change stations.

Be that as it may, there are many people who actually enjoy being told by others that they had 'heard them on the radio'. Others, however, prefer to call DJs off the air, or to send messages when a mobile number is provided, or to send e-mails or messages on social networking sites, asking for anonymity.

Different broadcasters have different ways of conducting their programmes; if we think we can do better why do we not apply for a slot on one of the stations that have mushroomed since the liberalisation of the media?

People who call radio stations, on air or off, might have a loneliness programme. Ask anyone who has become an unofficial agony aunt.

Many people who work on helplines that have nothing to do with emotional support will tell you how a caller gave his life story when ostensibly phoning to apply for a service. We have all met people on the bus, or in waiting rooms, who need someone to talk to; sometimes, the 'someone' is a programme host who 'sounds nice and caring'.

• It is fascinating to see how viewership and listenership statistics do not always reflect what one assumes to be the whole picture.

A case in point is F'Salib It-Toroq, which seems to be gaining popularity with every episode.

Since the series is loosely based on what really does happen - to our neighbours, of course, never to us! - this could be the reason why it attracts so many viewers and why people discuss the characters and say they are 'like' someone they know.

Right now, people want to know whether Roderick (and who is his girlfriend, by the way?) will make it - and they also want to know who the doppelganger of Victor, murdered months before, happens to be.

Writer Frederick Zammit will not be persuaded into divulging any plot turns, as this would "spoil the fun", as he succinctly put it.

The rerun of season one begins on August 10 at 1 p.m., and will be broadcast on weekdays. The new series will be one of 37 episodes and begins in the last week of September. It will be aired on Tuesdays.

• An item that was reported in the foreign news told how a man used a fraudulent cheque to buy a television set from a shop in Main Street, Limavady, County Londonderry. Perhaps not to arouse suspicions, the man did not make out the cheque for a round sum, but wrote down the exact cost of the appliance - £499.

He then drove a way in a vehicle that could have been a blue or grey Toyota Avensis, a Carina or a Corolla. Although this happened at the beginning of the year, it is only now that the shop owner has reported how he was swindled.

television@timesofmalta.com