Whine flu

My friends Liza and Rebecca have a knack of going deadpan after delivering their one-liners. To those of us who would not have got it first time around, this is a signal to backtrack.

It stands to read that this World Cup has been a goldmine for them, just as it has been a minefield for others. 'It's not easy being Green' and 'England's new coach is the one ferrying them to the airport', and 'Do frogs taste like chicken?' are three of my favourites.

Locally, a good number of our so-called commentators appear to be so perplexed about what is happening on the pitch what they think is succinct observation ends up being risible. 'Il-ballun tiela' u nieżel'- making us wonder whether this is a yo-yo championship. 'Il-player bil-flokk aħmar...' as if he were an unnamed gatecrasher, The streak-style, who had just snuck into the field... 'B'pass insidjuż...' was the description of a particular tackle, as if one could really be sinister or subtle in a football game.

With some commentators, it looks as though the World Cup caught them unawares. It is obvious some of them did not read up on the preparations and the related politics, and so they are left with nothing but describing what is happening in the match, and then, poorly so.

There was an 'all hands on deck' collective effort to gather sportscasters from several sections of the media, and I am sad to say they are not up to scratch; they have done precious nothing to encourage those who do not like football.

Here I must make it clear that in the two groups (radio and television) of journalists doing the broadcasting, there exist the good, the bad, and the indifferent; that is why I am not naming names. But I do think it is unfair for people to assume a position they cannot fulfil; unless their delusions of adequacy are such that they consider themselves on a par with the others.

Meanwhile, the Social Affairs Committee has urged Go and Melita to try to reach a settlement which would enable viewers to have access to all important football matches without having to buy the two services. Pardon me for breathing, but ought this type of plea not to have gone out before the kick-off, and not after the first phase of matches?

I would have thought it was a foregone conclusion that it would happen without any need for MP David Agius's intervention - although kudos to him for doing this on behalf of all local aficionados. This would be a variation of how a press pen is conducted in certain news conferences, where a restricted number of photographers and journalists allowed to cover an event share photos and notes with their peers.

There was a time when newscasters on Malta Television dressed to kill; I have purposely refrained from commenting about casual wear and hairy chests.

• It is not only sports commentators who leave much to be desired, sometimes. One newscaster recently described the clashes between the local fish-farming industry, Greenpeace and Sea Shepherd as 'diżgwit'.

I cannot understand how piracy, injury, misappropriation and violence can ever be reduced to the level of neighbours who keep their radios on at a loud volume when everyone else's windows are open.

This and the sister paper are giving very accurate and interesting coverage of the affair. There was also a very interesting exposé of the whole picture in Lilian Maistre's programme on Radju Malta, Familja Waħda, in which Ivan Portanier explained how fish farming works.

This interview may have removed many preconceptions. Elsewhere, it had been insinuated that the tuna caught for farms came out of the quota for Malta, which is why it was currently so expensive; that it was always Maltese fishermen who caught the fish; that they are fed artificial foods that pollute the sea; that they (and swordfish) are caught out of season; that nothing is done to check how large catches are, etc.

I was particularly amused to notice that the people who usually call in to the programme when the topic is not this intense, missed their appointment.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the oceans, Japanese theatres have pulled the The Cove after threats. Theatres where this film about dolphin slaughter was being screened had received "... intimidating phone calls and veiled threats of violence". As I have said elsewhere, some fishermen, and some fish, are more equal than others.

• Never one to pull his punches, Gozo Bishop Mario Grech recently referred to the 'empty vessels' (i.e. those that make most sound) in politics, media and the Church. He reiterated that these people are flaunting a deficit in ethics and other negative traits, which weaken the moral stance of the individual, the family, and the nation. This, he indicated, would create a vicious circle that further weakens society at grassroots level, fostering cynicism and dissatisfaction with one's lot.

Some of us who have access to readers, listeners and/or viewers have an inflated opinion of our capabilities. But this is less of a problem than using our platform to create distrust and foment discontent.

His Grace put it more succinctly than I ever could; he included the spreading of rumours, character assassination, and manipulation of public opinion in his list of no-noes.

• I am informed that Bad Romance was chosen as background music for a series of advertisements simply because "... it is a new modern and familiar song known by most Maltese and Gozitans". I wonder whether this would fall under the umbrella term 'questionable press ethics'?

television@timesofmalta.com