In praise of fathers
The year's Father's Day passed without much fanfares, though football fans would quickly add "not without the cursed vusuvelas". The World Cup tournament is drowning everything and everyone. Father's Day was just one in a long series of victims that lost much of the media coverage that usually highlight it, though it lost none of the commercial hype feeding on it. One hopes that Father's Day did not suffer the same fate on the level of families.
Our newly appointed Commissioner for Children, Helen D'Amato, in a statement encouraged fathers to take a more active role in their children's upbringing, while expressing her appreciation for those who do. "Unfortunately, the role of the father is one which has not always been given the acknowledgement which it deserves, given the strong association of the children's upbringing with maternal care," Ms D'Amato said.
A similar sentiment was echoed at the same time but on the other side of the Atlantic. Marriage and family therapist Mitchell Rosen, of California, editorial in the Riverside Press-Enterprise about "Father's Day and the importance of fathers" actively involved in the lives of their children.
The point of Mitchell Rosen's editorial is that children benefit tremendously from exposure to positive male adult role models; ideally, that would be the child's father. Noting the fact that men's child-rearing styles differ from those of mothers, he said that this helps children have a better rounded upbringing. Psychologists say that children who feel valued by both parents often have a greatly enhanced self-image.
The role of fathers in the family is the subject of a report released last December by the Social Affairs Committee of our Parliament. This Committee, under the able chair of Edwin Vassallo, collectively penned a report which started by discussion "fatherlessness" in single parent families but ended by discussing "fatherlessness" in families where the father, though living in the family, is not really present. People were given up to the end of May to send in their comments. I am sure that the Committee would look at the comments posted on this blog even though the official consultation period has elapsed.
During the last quarter of 2009, the Committee listened to a number of experts who supplied it with opinions, statistics and research. Let me reproduce some statistics. The number of one-parent households has doubled in just four years. In 2003 there 1720 but the number went up to 3650 in 2007. In 2008 one fourth of births were outside of marriage and just under 9% had "unknown" fathers. As expected more, one-parent households, live in the risk of poverty than two parent households.
There are hardly any empirical Malta-based studies to document the effects of fatherlessness. Experts who addressed the Parliamentary Committee presented the results of studies in the United States and in Great Britain. The figures are frightening. Children do suffer a lot!
I think the Parliamentary Committee was quite justified in shifting its attention to those family situations when the father is there but in actual fact does not make his presence felt. Sometimes this is done for work reasons and/or because the role of the father in the unbringing is underestimated. You find fathers, to-day even both parents, working a lot for the welfare of the family but in so doing they would be abandoning the family. There was a myth about the so-called quality time. I think that there could not be any quality time unless and until there is enough time and physical presence. Many times quality time is nothing but a sophistically called alienation.
The importance of the presence of the father in the upbringing of children is to-day appreciated much more than before. Experts told the Social Affiars Committee that there are stages in the development of children e.g. adolescence when the presence and contribution of the father is more important than that of the mother.
What do you think of the role of the father in a family? Now that the role of breadwinner is not the sole domain of the father do you feel that family structures and relationships should be different from those of yesteryear? Are Maltese fathers responding fairly well to the new challenges they are facing?
The Ambassador's father
While researching for this topic I was lucky to come across contribution by the USA Ambassador Douglas Kmiec to the 18 June edition of the online version of the Catholic magazine, America. Ambassador Kmiec wrote movingly about the death of his father in June.
While offering my condolences to Ambassador Kmiec I am pleased to offer you the conclusion of the wonderfully written piece.
"My father died a few weeks ago in home hospice care in Florida. To both his sons at his side the Father's Day lesson is inescapable: As we check our voice mails, BlackBerries and inboxes, let us not be too busy to notice all those who, like my father, freely give of their dreams. By the Cross and Resurrection, Christ offers us a vision of unconditional love. The dreams of men are frequently their Christ-like
offers of love. We can't lose in taking them up. Why? Listen to my father's voice, now fallen silent but forever clearly heard by the family and friends who took the time to share his dreams: "because we have faith, courage and enthusiasm." With those qualities, Dad, we are confident your dreams of eternity are being fulfilled."
Do find time to read the whole piece on www.americamagazine.org/blog/blog.cfm?blog_id=2
The Three Lions
This piece was posted a few hours after it usually is posted. I wanted to watch England playing Slovenia to comment on the result. I planned to post immediately after the match. However, the result asked for celebration which took longer than I expected.
Tomorrow the "others" have a decisive match. I hope they ....
I will not continue that sentence, since I not wish this blog to be regaled all kinds of insults. However I still hope they ..... You know what I mean and who I am referring to, I guess.
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Steve Pace
Jun 30th 2010, 08:15
@Jessica Debattista - Thanks for repsonding. i agree with your clarifications.
"Later on that evening after his disappointment had died down I dared to hint that it did not do much good moving to table 11. :-))"
LOL !
Steve Pace
Jun 30th 2010, 08:06
@Richard Curmi - Apparantly you were not ... absolutley hilarious !
Richard Curmi
Jun 30th 2010, 03:07
@ Steve Pace: If you read again my input you will see that it is not I who needs to relax.
1) I don't even side with Either England or Italy , it was just a joke with Fr .Joe" I never mentioned any sides because I'm not into waving foriegners' flags. However in Malta one is either on one side or the other ' jew maghna jew kontra taghna' one cannot be independent and this goes for religion, politics and unfortunately sports also. I love football and follow all competitions and watch as many games as is possible from every major league just for the enjoyment and relaxation that those who really love the game can get out of it.
2) If you are serious about this comment, i really urge you to relax down a bit !' I don't like spoon feeding adults. Take it "As You like It" with apologies to the Bard.
Come on be a good sport and relax. There are some games in the World Cup Quarter Finals that promise to be worth our while watching and enjoying, you in the afternoon, I at midnight & early morning.
Jessica DeBattista
Jun 29th 2010, 20:17
@ Steve Pace:
Part 2.
Nowadays the role of the father is changing for the woman contributes financially to the common coffer and she expects that the chores, previously assigned to her, should be shared equally. It is laudable to see fathers pushing prams and feeding the child, and it is not your perception but an ever growing reality.
On another note, regarding the world cup fever we are living through: I am amused at how seriously some men take this event!
Allow me a little anecdote I need to share with you: Sunday lunch for me and my husband is usually at a restaurant in Valletta. We are almost regulars there and we practically have our own table but last Sunday just before the waiter took our order my husband wanted to move two tables further down. I thought it strange but later I found out that the table number was 13. I never thought my husband was superstitious!
Later on that evening after his disappointment had died down I dared to hint that it did not do much good moving to table 11. :-))
Jessica DeBattista
Jun 29th 2010, 20:14
@ Steve Pace: “i can tell you from some experience that it is not always the case . Sometimes fathers are more readily available .”
Part 1.
I expected some such answer since the commentators here are mostly male :-)
Mr. Pace, I do not doubt that “It is not always the case”, otherwise I would have been more categorical in my comment. In fact I wrote “Fathers at times can be too opinionated and overbearing”. Isn’t that clear enough that I was not alluding to all fathers?
You will appreciate, I hope, that I had the “traditional” father of years ago in mind – the sole bread winner – the head of the family whose advice was sought but who also expected his children to act on his advice.
I also said that children nowadays are not the subservient types and would probably put their foot down if they find that a parent wants to have too much say in the choice of how he/she wants to shape his/her future. They are more independent, and like you I speak from experience.
Continued…
Steve Pace
Jun 29th 2010, 15:22
@Jessica - "Mothers are generally more disposed to listen to their children’s problems and these are relayed later, couched in a mild tone, to the father when the latter is in a more amenable mood to listen."
without going into too much detail , i can tell you from some experience that it is not always the case . Sometimes fathers are more readily available .
I see a lot of fathers pushing prams and pushchairs these days. I see fathers giving bottles to their children . I get the feeling that today's fathers make the most of the little time they have with their young ones.
I think that fathers today have realized that child bearing is not a role which is only attributed to the woman. They seem to be more into helping and load sharing than in past days. i don't know , it might be my perception .
Steve Pace
Jun 29th 2010, 15:15
@Richard Curmi - "@ Fr. Joe "@ Steve Pace. Answered? U kif!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Your prayers have been heard. Now is it fair or you deserved it more than the others because there must have been others praying for the other side. How does whomsoever you pray to choose whom to answer?"
are you really serious ? I hope you are joking eh ?
1) I don't even side with Either England or Italy , it was just a joke with Fr .Joe
2) If you are serious about this comment, i really urge you to relax down a bit !
honestly , please tell us you were kidding , right ?
Jessica Debattista
Jun 29th 2010, 12:42
Fathers at times can be too opinionated and overbearing and this does not make for a good relationship with the children - especially with the boys in the family. Fathers are often not open to discussion especially if they get it into their heads that they want their sons to follow in their footsteps – as regards career or lifestyle.
Mothers are generally more disposed to listen to their children’s problems and these are relayed later, couched in a mild tone, to the father when the latter is in a more amenable mood to listen.
With all the good intentions in the world fathers can be a source of annoyance to the children who desire to have the approbation of the father but who at the same time want to follow the road that beckons them on.
Maybe the up-and-coming generation would be different for they are not too subservient to the domination of the father. They have a mind of their own, and are bred in a society which inflates their ego by the constant reference to the rights of the child.
It remains to be seen, however, which of the two models has more going for it.
Joe Xuereb
Jun 26th 2010, 17:26
Mr. Farrugia. What you, or anyone else, make of me is not my business.
I believe you when you say you weren't splitting hairs. But you did point out a blatant typing error - 'mingharjr' - that is about gaining points, splitting hairs, issib ix-xaghra fil-ghagina. So no, I retract gullibility as you would have it (no wonder you can't figure me out. I'm a slippery customer, I know). So no, I do not believe you.
You could try and read between the lines you know. The female water-polo things - that was just an example, drawing a similarity between why I MIGHT watch a football match and you, or indeed any hot-bloodied heterosexual male and how some of them at least, would not have their eyes on the ball exactly. No way was I implying, never mind saying, that you like water-polo with either men or females getting their cleavages wet (you don't still have hyperbole on the mind, have you?). That said, please don't tell me that you don't share my plight regarding this demon we have to live with. Like the water-polo team players, we're all in this scalding chilled sea-water together.
Andrew Farrugia
Jun 26th 2010, 16:55
@ XUEREB
I really do not know what to make of you. I acknowledged my errors in Maltese orthography and also thanked you for your explanation; i did not try to split hairs believe me; apologies if i came across that way. No problem about my surname being confused; it is indeed very common and interchangeable as you say, as is my formal first name (might as well call me John Smith, for all i care). However, we part company completely when it comes to your reasons for watching the beautiful game as well as your inaccurate guess that i enjoy watching waterpolo whether played by either men or women ( in fact i consider it the dumbest game ever invented). So i must say that you left me feeling rather confused and i happen to immensely tired at the moment and have no wish to tax my mind trying to figure what you are on about. Adios and if you have to watch football do try to watch it for the right reasons. It is a wonderful game.
Joe Xuereb
Jun 26th 2010, 15:37
@ Farrugia, Andrew. Sorry, that should have been Farrugia not Agius. Maltese surnames are
so interchangeable, like Maltese noses u l-paliet tas-saqajn. Not very memorable.
Joe Xuereb
Jun 26th 2010, 15:33
Sur Agius, Andrew, ma jidhirlekx li qed tfittex ix-xaghra fil-ghagina? Le, niktbu 'minghajr' mhux 'mingharjr'. Jien nikteb u nibghat, ma ghandix hin narbel b'moxt fin.
Skuzani li sellimtek bil-verzjoni Maltija ta' ismek Ingliz. Kont qed nipprova nzomm it-tema ta' lsienna. Ma nergax. Ahfirli. Minix it-tip li niehu kunfidenza ma' irgiel ma nafhomx, specjalment it-tip tieghek, ukoll jekk ikunu t-tip li jerfghu it-tarf tal-qmis.
Il-futbol narah u nnemmes biex nara min minnhom ghandu l-isbah ghajnejn (MINGHAJR tidlik u kuluri u xaghar falz) u l-isbah saqajn. Aktar ma jkunu sufin, aktar niehu gost niffantasizza. Ezatt kif taghmel int meta tara xi loghba 'water-polo' bejn in-nisa. U tiskanta kemm minnhom immusolati u sufin aktar minn ragel. Heqq, irgiel ahna hux, Andrew!! Kulhadd gosti. X'taghmel!! Kulhadd b'xi salib, hi.
Jessica DeBattita
Jun 26th 2010, 12:59
Part 2.
Men take it as their inalienable right to take hold of all financial matters and often they prefer to keep the wife ignorant of how fat the bank account is. They want absolute control - power over the wife and, maybe, a sense of confidence that she could never leave him.
It is probably why marriages survived in days gone by, but that does not mean that women were the complacent , happily married, content to live a monotonous life individuals, where the highlight of their lives was the coming of a new baby.
Times have changed! At least for the upcoming generation.
Jessica DeBattista
Jun 26th 2010, 12:58
Part 1.
There was a time when the man was the sole breadwinner and the family looked up to him as the head of the family - the wife of course came a close second, but unfortunately she had no financial security unless it was provided by the husband, and in such cases, as when she inherited money, it was automatically registered under the husband’s name.
How can one expect to have women feel that they could ever be independent in such a situation? It takes courage and a little bit of a ‘devil-may-care’ attitude to have a woman insist on keeping her inheritance. And where husbands comply, it is not without its difficulties and bad blood between them.
Continued…
Andrew Farrugia
Jun 26th 2010, 12:38
@ XUEREB
Many thanks for correcting my Maltese spelling; i try to be very careful when i am writing in Maltese, particularly to rules of orthography. Still, everyone makes mistakes - note the way you spelt "minghajr". Anyway, i agree with you that football is a pleasant diversion -well, for you it may not be so- whereas our country's identity, which includes our mother-tongue, is of the utmost importance. PS. Would you mind getting my formal name right -ie Andrew; many people who know me well are entitled to the liberties of referring to me by the truncated form of the name ( which you stumbled upon some moons ago).
Joe Xuereb
Jun 26th 2010, 11:28
@ Andrew Farrugia. 'Titkellmu' u 'kellkhom' korretti - elle doppja. Imma, 'iddahkuni certi nies'? Trid tghid idahkuni certi nies. F'dak il-kaz, idahhkuni (jien wiehed trabba in-naha l-ohra jew idahhquni jien ikun tas-sikkina - il-he doppja ghall-istess raguniji li niktbu elle doppja fl-ewwel zewg ezempji. Andrija, jien mingharjr futbol hajti tibqa` l-istess. L-identita` ta' pajjizi, dik hag'ohra.
Jessica DeBattista
Jun 26th 2010, 11:19
@ Victor Rodenas: “Woman have got their chance to prove that they are capable , but they ignore it........why ?”
Mr Rodenas in my previous post I said that “Man will perhaps resist the changed role for his macho mentality requires time to adapt”. The same reasoning might apply to the fact that woman had for so long been regarded as inferior to man. It will require time for the woman to adapt and accept that her capabilities match up to the man’s.
victor rodenas
Jun 26th 2010, 10:34
Jessica if woman feel that they are equal with men, then why when there are the general elections or the EU elections, most of the women vote for men.I think that they still feel that they are not capable as much as men. Woman have got their chance to prove that they are capable , but they ignore it........why ? In parlament men outnumber women, in the EU it is a white wash....come on women, take a leap forward, there are many women out there that agree with me ,so, what are you waiting for.......take courage and prove yourself.Remember the saying....~the greatest enemy of women are women themselves~.
Richard Curmi
Jun 26th 2010, 07:49
@ Fr. Joe "@ Steve Pace. Answered? U kif!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Your prayers have been heard. Now is it fair or you deserved it more than the others because there must have been others praying for the other side. How does whomsoever you pray to choose whom to answer?
When, in my younger days, I used to fill-in the position between the goalposts with a measure of distinction and the cruel referee whistled for a penalty in favour of the opposition I used to cross myself and pray for divine help to be able to stop the ball from entering into the net. To my displeasure I used to notice that the player getting ready to execute the penalty was crossing himself also and probably praying for the same divine help to direct the ball correctly and score. I still wonder how that divinity decided whom to help between the kicker and the stopper!!! To be honest although I was quite good during the games, it looked like that I wasn't favoured that much in the penalty scenario because 9 out of ten times the ball ended in the net. Were we creating a divine dilemma?
Jessica DeBattista
Jun 25th 2010, 23:34
We tend to associate male with rationality and female with emotionality however this is not necessarily true. I think that these characteristics are common in both sexes, but in different measures.
Woman had in the past been regarded as the weaker sex, for muscle power, was what was seen as brute strength, however, I believe that she is the stronger sex for she can withstand more hardship than a man does. She is the one who copes with the monthly cycle; the one who goes through pregnancy and childbirth; the one who works around the clock to take care of a family or does housework after a working day outside the home.
Woman nowadays stands up for her rights and demands that the man in her life regards her as his equal.
I believe that there will come a time when both sexes will be on a par as regards characteristics mentioned above and the role male/female will be the same for both, except for the physical characteristics which allow for procreation.
Man will perhaps resist the changed role for his macho mentality requires time to adapt, but within the next generation, I suppose the male/female roles will even out.
Andrew Farrugia
Jun 25th 2010, 23:13
Ifrah Father, ifrah, ghax giet id-daqqa taghkhom. Jien li nzomm mat-Taljani ma tantx haddtha bi kbira ghax naf li t-tim ma kellux klassi bizzejjed din id-darba. Mhux ser noqghod nispjega ir- ragunijiet ghax kieku nehodlek hafna spazju. Hu il-kelma tieghi, jien espert tal-football. Imma iddahkuni certi nies. Qatt ma titkellmu fuq il-football imbaghad darba kull erba snin arakhom tizzikaw lil ohrajn - dan jghodd sew ghat-"Taljani" u ghall-"Inglizi". Ghalhekk biss taraw il- World Cup; is-soltu , "to put one over"; mur ara kieku kellkhom taghmlu hekk fil-politka kemm jghidu fuqkhom in-nies. Anyway, issa jien - persuna stramba - nixtieq li jirbhuha l-Inglizi; tahsibx li qed niccajta, ghandi ragunijiet sodi (il-mahbubin tieghi jzommu mal-Inglizi u nixtieq narhom jifirhu kif jien diga ghamilt darbtejn-1982, 2006); u nghidlek li skond il-kalkoli tieghi -fantastici imma bazati fuq il-fixtures-, jekk England jaghmluha they would have done it the hard way: Germany, Argentina, Spain and Brazil in final -check fixtures and see; if England pull it off then hats off everybody because it would be worth FOUR World CUPS in my view; no other team has had to win the Cup by overcoming such great opposition. Kuragg.
Joe Xuereb
Jun 25th 2010, 15:25
@ MG Buttigieg. I was quoting my mother and that is good enough for me. The important thing is of course to grasp the meaning (of anything) and apply it. Other than that, I don't know whether you were agreeing with me or merely trying to prove how clever and well-read you are. But that's your business entirely of course.
Fr Joe Borg
Jun 25th 2010, 14:39
@ Steve Pace. Answered? U kif!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MG Buttigieg
Jun 25th 2010, 09:54
@
Joe the quote was from David Maria Turoldo
MG Buttigieg
Jun 25th 2010, 09:15
@Joe Xuereb
'min jghix bit-tama jmut bil-piena'. For that to be grasped one needs a 'nitfa' of lateral-thinking.
"Brother atheist, nobly pensive, / in search of a God / I don't know how to give you, / let us cross the desert together. / From desert to desert let us go beyond / the forest of the faiths, / free and naked toward / the Naked Being / and there / where words die / may our journey end."
Joe I have tried some lateral thinking.
Joe Xuereb
Jun 24th 2010, 21:47
Here is the article I mentioned earlier. This paragraph merits highlighting on its own as it illustrates the plight of young men in particular. Boys mature later than girls, they don't express themselves so well, lack the vocabulary. Besides, men are not supposed to emote. Good lord no!!
The quote: "Initially, I didn't think about the baby at all," he confesses. "I spent most nights hanging around the streets with my mates, drinking and smoking cannabis. I had no plans for the future, no ambition and no clue about kids. Looking back, I was really scared."
And the full article (in last Sunday's The News of the World's colour supplement, dated 20.06.10).
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/fabulous/features/849383/Welcome-to-teen-dads-school-Teenage-fathers-are-absent-good-for-nothings-right-Wrong-They-want-to-raise-their-kids-they-just-donrsquot-know-how.html
This article refers to British youngsters obviously. But I'd say it applies equally to young Maltese men, the oft-quoted 'absent fathers. Some may be truly absent, some claim to be absent for whatever agenda. And some, absent or not, are very frightened young men I am sure. If anything, the problem in Malta looms even larger than in UK. Wjat with Malta being small, with a commensurate mentality, insecurity, religiosity. A young man 'in trouble' wouldn't stand a chance. But an expert at hiding behind braggadocio.
Steve Pace
Jun 24th 2010, 21:01
@Fr.Joe "I will not continue that sentence, since I not wish this blog to be regaled all kinds of insults. However I still hope they ..... You know what I mean and who I am referring to, I guess."
Fr.Joe..... are you cheating jaqaw ? Your prayers seem to have been answered .... mhux sew ta ... ;)
Jessica DeBattista
Jun 24th 2010, 19:42
Part 2.
My father was the breadwinner who kept us in comfort and who always looked forward to coming home to a smoothly run family. I still recall how the house seemed to take on a pleasant atmosphere the minute he walked in through the door.
Both my parents had a pleasant personality but my father had a particular aura that drew people to him like a magnet. When he passed away I was pregnant with my second child and I grieved a lot, but time heals.
My relationship with my mother became stronger and more relaxed after I got married. I suppose she felt relieved that I was “safely” married and her job was done. :-)
I thank God for having had them as my parents!
Jessica DeBattista
Jun 24th 2010, 19:39
Part 1.
Reminiscing about my childhood years, I recall fond memories of both my mother and my father.
My mother was the strict figure in my life who inculcated moral values by her constant reference to a proper way of living. At times I found her rather too much!
My father was the joy of my childhood years: he was the story-teller, the joker, the person who could do no wrong and no man could ever measure up to him.
As I grew older, I grew to acknowledge my mother’s worth: I came to understand that she felt it her duty to raise us siblings as God-fearing, industrious individuals. But still I found her rather too much!
Continued….
Joe Xuereb
Jun 24th 2010, 16:27
We are always reading about how women are affected by this and that. And the guys are often overlooked in life's travails. Boys cope, they're tough. But are they?!
A few days ago I was reading about 'classes' for young men to learn how to be fathers (some of the women need instruction too I imagine). It was 'discovered' that young lads want to be fathers but haven't a clue. They are bombared by negativity all around, undermining their confidence. They take flight in what comes easily - they feel alienated and they help themselves to more of the same. They take refuge in 'having a good time' and changing nappies is certainly not their idea of that. Instinctively they like babies but have no idea where to start. Often, their female counterparts have not much of a clue either. Kids siring kids. Time was when things familial fell naturally into place. Modern pressures ensure many fall through the net and social groups other than the poor suffer this. Distressingly, going back to the 'good-old-days' is not an option. Those times are gone forever. And come to think of it, they weren't so good even then. That, Rodenas, is life.
Jessica DeBattista
Jun 24th 2010, 12:47
Part 2.
Families have grown smaller in size and many factors contribute to this fact. Both parents work nowadays either because they have expenses which they are obliged to honour or because women are better educated and feel the need for a working career.
Two payrolls make it easy to pamper a shrunken family and very often parents compensate for their absence (for children are often brought up by the grand mother) by showering their child or two with expensive presents. Any quality time they can give is crammed at a time when the children are almost ready for bed and therefore not very responsive to the attention the parents are ready to give them.
Parents tend to feel guilty especially when they see how fast their children are growing and how much they had missed in their development. More expensive presents would be forthcoming hoping to make up for their presumed neglect. And meanwhile they are breeding children who will come to expect these expensive presents, and who will grow up with a materialistic mentality that puts a lot of store on the acquisition of personal possessions.
Jessica DeBattista
Jun 24th 2010, 12:46
Part 1.
Times have changed and what was considered an ideal child-rearing-structure in my growing up years, cannot be said to be feasible nowadays.
Drawing from first hand experience does not necessarily mean that it could be taken as a model for it is only a description of a way of life of a single family unit. There are so many other models to assess but generally speaking one would be safe to say that fathers had time for the growing up family and although we did not call it by the term “quality time”, the time spent together as a family was what weaved a close relationship within the family nucleus.
Of course life was not the hectic rush that it is today, and if some families were not so well to do, the tastes and needs were quite modest, and possibly could be met, when compared to what children “demand” of their parents nowadays.
We tend to think of our children, nowadays, as spoilt brats, but it would help to ponder on how our children have become so demanding.
Continued…
Richard Curmi
Jun 24th 2010, 12:00
Father's Day is said to have originated in the USA by a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd whose intention was to honour Fathers in the same way as Mothers on Mother's day. Both days are now highly commercialised. Down under it is celebrated on the first Sunday of September.
It has been reduced to not more than a happy family reunion and giving of presents. I wonder how much fathers' roles are understood and appreciated. I wonder how many fathers understand and put in practice their fatherly duties and care. Indeed I find that these days do not really help to increase in any way their active role in the upbringing of the children and in the running of the home. Again I wonder how much these days help in enhancing the appreciation of this role.
A Father should be a father all yaer round. A father should be practising his role on all days and at all times. On the other hand a father should be shown respect and appreciation all year round.
By dedicating a day we tend to loose sight of the real significance; give him a present and see him next Father's Day.
victor rodenas
Jun 24th 2010, 10:41
There was a time when families were large,very large sometimes.Only the father worked for a wage ,the mother worked at home,...taking care of the children ,shopping,cooking....insomma,doing all the chores.All the money the father earned was used for food and bills....nobody even taught of taking a holiday abroad.....these families were poor...education increased and family size shrunk to one or two children per family.Now mothers started to have more free time.Rich families sent their children to boarder schools,the children stayed at school for many months...coming home for a few weeks in summer and perhaps for a week at christmas.At that time nobody talked about roles and how much the parents are needed...insomma ........nowadays to buy a place to live costs too much ,youngsters have to turn to banks for the money ,the wife has to find a job.It takes a life time to pay all the debts........I think that some men do help at home,they have to...To respond if maltese fathers are responding well or not, is difficult to answer...have any scientific studies been done?If no,....how can I know? Family structures are changing,many woman have a career,..perhaps even earning much more than the husband.Problems will always occur,that`s life.
Joe Xuereb
Jun 24th 2010, 03:42
My deepest sympathy to the American ambassador.
My father was a hard-working family man. He did his best and more. Thank god he spared us empty promises. I recall I was upset when he died but time heals as we say. Now I look back at my parents and, thank god, I have learned to see them as the ordinary people that they were. As in, 'my mother is/was the best mother in the world'. And so is everybody else's. To them your mother is just another woman. God! the things we get imbroiled in. And of course, may they R.I.P. meaning they were freed from a life often hard and unrelenting. Their death freed them from that. No less, no more. Because death is the most natural of things. One is conceived, one lives (and toils|). And one dies. No different to a leaf falling off a twig in Autumn in fact.
I remember my mother, god rest her soul, telling us kids, 'min jghix bit-tama jmut bil-piena'. For that to be grasped one needs a 'nitfa' of lateral-thinking.