Separating couples need support to help children

Support services for separating couples could help ease the trauma experienced by children when their parents were splitting up, a UK social worker said.

"Research shows that children of separated couples, who have a good relationship with both parents and are not exposed to conflict, have the same chances as other children raised in a standard family," Diana Houlston said. "So it is important to prevent conflict between parents or reduce it where it has been created. That is where our energies need to go."

Ms Houlston, who has worked as a social worker for 35 years, was in Malta as part of a Commonwealth programme aimed at improving services to help children going through separation cases. During her one-week stay she spoke to various stakeholders, including judges, lawyers, social workers and parents and children, on the subject.

She will now be drawing up a report outlining the prevailing scenario and listing recommendations that could help improve the services and collaboration among stakeholders.

There was awareness among stakeholders that marriage breakdown was increasing and services had to be put in place now. Support in the early stages, when the relationship was under stress, had to be increased, she said.

"The sheer volume of work passing through the courts is a huge issue everyone wants to try and address. I was struck by people's desire to get it right because everyone is very aware that it is not as good as it could be for children," she said.

Ms Houlston said stakeholders expressed a desire to invest in preventive courses to educate parents about the consequences separation would have on their lives, their children and their finances.

"There is the recognition of a need to offer psychological support to couples. This is not as readily available as people would like... Once couples decide to separate, courses are needed on how to organise things to minimise the impact on the child."

In a recent report, Parliament's Social Affairs Committee pointed out that the Family Court needed to become more child-friendly to ease the trauma on children. Some, as young as five and six, were already on antidepressants because of separation-related stress, the report said.

Children Commissioner Helen D'Amato echoed the concern saying the Family Court's structure and the way it worked had to be revisited to ensure children's voices were better heard.

While agreeing with the principle that children should be consulted on major decisions affecting their life, Ms Houston believes a balance should be maintained. There had to be a system that gave children an opportunity to speak without being formulaic and saying all children must be talked to, she said.

"How right is it to involve children in court proceedings if, in fact, parents are keeping their best interest at the forefront? Perhaps we need a thorough approach by mediators to assess whether parents have their children's best interests at heart. Then it would not be necessary to involve the children in the court case," she said.

In cases where it was determined that parents were not acting in the best interest of the child, she added, one should consider involving a social worker.