Abuse victims say meeting with Pope gave them peace

Marianna Galea Xuereb

Apr 22nd 2010, 14:25

@C.Busuttil/and/@Thomas Xuereb


If you ever bothered to read the entire bible – including the New Testament – with a rational mind you will realize that Christ did not consistently preach forgiveness at all costs as if unconditional forgiveness were some basic, divine, human right.

He certainly did not teach that we should merely forgive child abusers. He did not even imply that the two rogues who were crucified beside him ought to have been forgiven by the Roman or Jewish authorities – note that he could have easily done so without risking any further sadism to himself or the other two for the simple reason that crucifiers had no knowledge of how they could inflict any more pain then by crucifying as they did. He took matters into his own hands and gave the hawkers at the temple quite a good hiding. Christ actually preached that one should make practical amends for one’s bad deeds and not merely repent.

Unconditional forgiveness is a mere modern church fashion. So modern in fact that the church used to practice Inquisitional torture up till a few centuries ago. Unconditional forgiveness was certainly not considered a dogma back then.

Ruby Jenner

Apr 20th 2010, 13:17

Thomas Xeureb It would indeed suit a lot of people if these victims went quietly away. Why should they? Should all victims of crime forgive and not prosecute then the prisons would be empty and society would be even more dangerous than it already is. Or does it only apply to a chosen few? I disagree with you, the court case should go ahead and if guilty they should be punished like everyone else.

Thomas Xuereb

Apr 20th 2010, 10:33

The Times interviewer who asked whether this man had forgiven the abusers made a very pertinent point. If there is no forgiveness in this man's heart then all the crying and empty words are just a charade for the camera.

Another newspaper reported that money was asked of a foreign station (BBC) so that they could interview this man.... makes one wonder.

Thomas Xuereb

Apr 20th 2010, 10:15

If these alleged victims now 'feel at peace' why don't they just forgive the priests and dismiss the court case? They can easily do it and they will no longer have to face the trauma that is the legal system in Malta.

and Marianna Glaea Xuereb before you jump at my throat - take a deep breath and calm down.

C.Busuttil

Apr 19th 2010, 23:44

@Marianna Galea Xuereb

Forgiveness is no church doctrine it is what Jesus Christ teached and practiced. He forgave those who cruxified him on a cross and therefore we have to forgive just as he did. It's not that bloody easy but if one really believes in Christ one has to follow his example. If he forgave we can also. He was humiliated, betrayed and suffered a painful death for us. If we believe in him we will find the strength to forgive, otherwise prepare for hell as only those who believe him completely will be saved. His teachings are not for us to select according to our likes, either you accept Christ in everything or else you are wasting time. Trying to justify our actions will not justify anything with God, we will be only fooling ourselves or pretend to, he will judge on accounts of what we did to follow the path he set for us. You can take that path or not, but for sure you can't take shortcuts or excuses. He set the rules not the church, for us to follow otherwise he would have wasted his time if it wasn't his intention to make these rules.

Maria Barbara

Apr 19th 2010, 16:43

Brave indeed they are. I hope that they truly feel the healing of Jesus in their hearts and lives. You deserve to live life to the full and you are indeed I say again brave to face what happened to you . I am very happy for you that you managed to speak to the Pope. God Bless you and Grant you love, peace and serenity. As to forgiveness, take your time. It is a gift to forgive. Ask Jesus for the gift. The first benefectors of forgiveness will be yourselves. then let the courts do their work.

Marianna Galea Xuereb

Apr 19th 2010, 15:50

I think these men are very brave and deserve our support and prayers. They did our nation a great service by publicly talking about such matters.

I can only guess at the agony they must have gone through. Abusers and their supporters - as well as their frequently misguided sympathizers - are great at silencing victims and even more so at making you feel guilty about wanting to reject their abuse and manipulation.

Joss Galea

Apr 19th 2010, 15:07

I agree with Chris Bezzina.......yesterday I watched the BBC news. They mentioned this event, but still tried to somehow get the bad out of it!!!!

Sean Grima

Apr 19th 2010, 14:54

forgiveness is an essential part of the christian faith. the fact that the abusers may be forgiven, of course, should not stop justice from being meted out by the courts.

Carmen Mizzi

Apr 19th 2010, 13:24

I believe that quite a number of individuals, living in tormenting secrets of abuse; consider the Pope’s noble gesture of meeting with those eight brave men, a consolation, and solace to their hurts. I am glad that the Vicar of Christ has acted as Christ would have acted. What I long for is that Bishop Cremona’s vision of a Church going back to its basics and discard its superfluous power and privileges, would be lived out by all members of the Church, beginning with the Curia, Religious institutions, and every individual Catholic.

Stefan Engelbert

Apr 19th 2010, 12:50

@edward bartolo: The root of all this hassle are the ones who commited the child abuse!

Chris Bezzina

Apr 19th 2010, 11:44

I hope the Media both internationally or locally focus on this milestone... Because sometimes the media only focus on coverage that tries to give a general idea of the Church.

Marianna Galea Xuereb

Apr 19th 2010, 10:29

Who's the disgusting interviewer who asked the victim whether or not he has forgiver his abusers?
It's completely up to the victim to decide if and when he wants to forgive. No matter what the official church doctrine about such matters is, I strongly feel that to try to impose – or even suggest – forgiveness on a victim is to inflict another form of abuse on him/her.

Abusers rob a victim of his tranquility, his trust, his faith in supposed carers, his peace of mind, often his mental as well as physical health, his welfare, his self respect, his ability to concentrate on important matters, his right to reject abuse, his ability to really enjoy himself i.e. they take away his most basic rights. To expect or worse – demand - victims to forgive is to take away their right to psychological self determination too. Once again this would be “taking” or “robbing” from the victim. As a society we must stop perpetuating the myth that forgiveness necessarily helps one to heal oneself. Personal experience has shown me that imposed forgiveness merely suppresses the victim’s true feelings and pent up issues never did anybody any good.

Marianna Galea Xuereb

Apr 19th 2010, 10:20

@ Charles Falzon I think the victims themselves are the bravest and the ones who deserve most our support and prayers. They did our nation a great service by publicly talking about such matters. I can only guess at the agony they must have gone through. Abusers, manipulators and their supporters - as well as their frequently misguided sympathizers - are great at silencing victims and even more so at making you feel guilty about wanting to reject their abuse and manipulation.

Marianna Galea Xuereb

Apr 19th 2010, 09:49

@ Charles Falzon I think the victims themselves are the bravest and the ones who deserve most our support and prayers. They did our nation a great service by publicly talking about such matters. I can only guess at the agony they must have gone through. Abusers, manipulators and their supporters - as well as their frequently misguided sympathizers - are great at silencing victims and even more so at making you feel guilty about wanting to reject their abuse and manipulation.

J. Cutajar

Apr 19th 2010, 08:31

The Pope did well to meet these men. It gave not only these men but all of us hope and faith in the Church again. The more professional the Church deals with this situation and the sooner, the more faith and hope is instilled in its followers. @ E. Bartolo I have no personal interest in any of these men or any other person abused by a clergy but I can tell you that if you want the Church to still exists then we all have to make sure that humanity and the dignity of a person are respected. No person is bigger than the organisation except God himself. Gone are the days of the 'Signor Si'. We want a transparent Church which we can trust and when it's people fail it, then it has to have the courage to excuse itself and move on. That is the Church, I am proud to be member off, not a Church which doesn't do mistakes, but a Church able to admit its mistakes, apologises and we move on. Isn't it everyday life ?

Charles Falzon

Apr 18th 2010, 19:22

This group ,especially Mr. Grech, are brave men. Let this meeting with the Church's highest authoritiesl help them to move on with their lives after decades of being unrecognised victims.

T Aquilina

Apr 18th 2010, 19:12

The Pope did the right thing and I am glad for these men who clearly needed this comfort. Unfortunately on some foreign tv news stations, (Euronews) it seems that this news has yet to reach them - they are still broadcasting old news of the men's request to meet the Pontiff .....Hope they update this without delay.

E. Vassallo

Apr 18th 2010, 18:12

Mr. Grech, make courage. You are an inspiration to victims of such abuse.

edward bartolo

Apr 18th 2010, 17:53

The root of all this hassle about child abuse, is that there are some, who want to discredit the church, because, they disagree with its teachings and its view of the world. Deep down, these individuals, are not interested in the victims, but in their hidden agenda.

As I reiterated in previous posts in this forum, the church will continue to exist, even if it is constrained to live underground! Whether some people like or not, Christ, the founder of the church, is an important historical person who made a great impact on humanity, and history cannot be changed. Many values of humanity are derivatives from what Christ himself preached.

Joe Xuereb

Apr 18th 2010, 17:09

Justice needs to be seen to be done here on earth via the civil courts.
The problem for the abuse victims is how to bring closure to their unwarranted suffering and the psychological repercussions. When, and if, they receive monetary compensation, they could use the money to seek the best psychotherapy money can buy. If the Courts do not award damages, the Church could offer payment for psychotherapeutic treatment, such treatment being independent of the Church. Closure is possible. It needs time and counselling to clarify the confusion that these life events create.

Stephen Florian

Apr 18th 2010, 16:51

By no means do I exclude the law courtsand an exemplary prison sentence. But is there anything greater than the judgement of the Lord ? When earthly justice is served, and I hope it will be without any furthur delay, earthly justice will be no shield from the wrath of God. The men of the habit who have transgressed know this, and surely feel this in their hearts, if there is a grain of redemption left in their blood.
However, stange as it may sound, who are you and me to judge ? That is the office of the Lord, although society craves for revenge.
His Holiness Pope Benedict needs the support of all people of good will, if the Church is to be redeemed.

C Falzon

Apr 18th 2010, 16:36

I don't mind God judging people after their death but it is the law courts that need to judge them while they are still alive.

victor caruana

Apr 18th 2010, 16:11

@stephen florian

how is it that when some problem seems to have been addressed some strange issue is raised again?

So, according to you we should do away with the law courts!!!!!!!

Stephen Florian

Apr 18th 2010, 15:49

They, the transgressors, the betrayers of the faith, the betrayers of innocence shall be judged by allmighty God and by God alone.