There are no Christmas decorations in Peter Kok’s house.
“When my wife was alive we used to celebrate Christmas but not anymore,” he says in a thick Dutch accent, looking at a photo of Anna, who was murdered 12 years ago.
Her killer, who stabbed her several times in Ħamrun before admitting everything to the police, was her brother-in-law Salvu Gauci.
Nearly nine years after being handed down a 20-year prison term, Mr Gauci, 63, who is dying of cancer, is requesting a Presidential pardon to be free to die with his family.
But the victim’s family are adamantly against this request and Mr Kok says: “Let him burn in hell. The sooner he dies the better. Because then I can finally close this chapter.”
His eyes glaze over as he replays his painful memories: “I know I am being harsh. But life made me that way. He stabbed her like a dog in the street.”
Mr Kok’s son, Jan Pieter, 25, feels the same way, even though his mother’s murderer used to be his favourite uncle.
“He took something from us. May he have a painful death,” he says coldly.
They both wish Mr Gauci could have been given the death penalty. They say he was lucky to get away with “just” 20 years.
“I’m not a religious man but when he is gone, I will feel like justice would have finally been served,” Mr Kok adds, turning his head to the sky with a sense of hopeful gratitude.
He says his wife was a good woman, “always helping everybody”. But since her death, his life and family have fallen apart and he will never find solace.
He speaks about Mr Gauci with exhausted rage: “I can never forget. I wake up with him and I go to bed with him. I can never get him out of my head.”
Mr Kok lives alone but his son, who resides in Holland, sometimes visits. His daughter, on the other hand, did not deal well with her mother’s death and she moved to the UK. She and her father have drifted apart but he says they still keep in touch.
He says the “do-gooders” who are calling for Mr Gauci’s release are “misinformed” and he denies that Mr Gauci has only two years left to serve.
“That’s impossible. He’s only been there since 2001. Before then he was out on bail. What they are saying is not true. He has to serve his time.”
However, prison director Abraham Zammit confirmed to The Times that Mr Gauci’s earliest date of release is December 2012, due to remission which reduces a third of a prison sentence for good behaviour.
What hurts Mr Kok most is that he feels his wife’s death could have been avoided if the authorities had taken action against Mr Gauci before.
His wife had been trying to get a restraining order for him but this was not done by the time she was killed. Mr Kok even remembers getting a phone call from Mr Gauci telling him he would kill her for interfering in his marriage.
“The law is an ass, and even more so in Malta,” he says.
He remembers the day he found out Mr Gauci had his bail reduced. He only learned about it because he saw him out and about one fine day.
Mr Kok likens the case to that of Abdelbaset Ali Mohmet al-Megrahi – the only person ever convicted of the Lockerbie bombing, who was released and returned to Libya on compassionate grounds because he had terminal cancer.
But as he points out, although doctors said Mr al-Megrahi had three months to live, he is still walking free, four months on.
Mr Kok will never forgive his wife’s killer.
“It was not a mistake. He was going for her. I have no idea if he’s sorry or not. But it makes no difference. I will never have my wife again and my son will never have his mother.”
The murder took place in March 1997 when Ms Kok was out walking with her sister. In 2001, a jury found Mr Gauci guilty by six votes to three, the minimum valid by law, and he was handed down a 20-year prison sentence by Judge Patrick Vella.
Another of the victim’s sisters had taken the witness stand to say Mr Gauci was not a bad man and should not be considered a danger to society.
The Xarabank team has endorsed the Gauci family’s plea for his compassionate release and fellow prisoners have offered to serve his remaining time for him.
His sister Aida Gauci told The Times he only has weeks to live and he is so weak with cancer that he cannot even go up the steps to the visiting room.