Just For Fun

1. How did Santa know that Jack was coming? He could hear Jack and the beans talk.
2. How does Santa feel at Christmas? Santa-mental.
3. How many chimneys does Father Christmas go down? Stacks.
4. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missile-toe.
5. What are red, white and blue at Christmas time? Sad candy-canes.
6. What breed is Santa’s dog? A point-setter.
7. What comes at the end of Christmas Day? The letter ‘Y’.
8. What did Adam say on December 24? It's Christmas, Eve!
9. What do lambs say at Christmas? Season’s Bleatings.
10. What do Mexican dogs say at Christmas? Fleas Navidog!
11. What do Mexican sheep say at Christmas? Fleece Navidad.
12. What do people in the rat race send at Christmastide? Cross-mouse cards.
13. What do sheep say at Christmas? Merry Christmas to Ewe!
14. What do tigers and lions sing at Christmas? Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells...
15. What do you call people who are frightened of Santa? Claus-trophobic.
16. What do you call people who don’t believe in Santa? Rebels without a Claus.
17. What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clauses.
18. What do you get if you cross Father Christmas became a detective? Santa Clues.
19. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
20. What do you give your parents for Christmas? Your shopping list.
21. What do you use to open Christmas presents? A tur-key.
22. What does Santa call his salamander? My newt.
23. What does Santa eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.
24. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-itis.
25. What nationality is Santa? North Polish
26. What's Christmas called in England? Yule Britannia.
27. What's different in the alphabet at Christmas? It has Noel.
28. Where does Santa deposit his money? In a Snow Bank
29. Where does Santa go for entertainment? To a snow ball.
30. Which brand of motorcycle does Santa own? A Holly Davidson.
31. Who comes down the chimney when the fire is lit? Krisp Kringle.
32. Who delivers cats’ Christmas presents? Santa Paws.
33. Who steals gift wrap from the rich to give to the poor? Ribbon Hood.
34. Why did Santa get the sack from the juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
35. Why do Mummies like Christmas? Because of the wrapping!
36. Why do reindeer scratch themselves? Only they know where their itch is.
37. Why does rain drop, but snow fall? Because of the Santa Clause.
38. Why does Santa go down chimneys? Because it soots him
39. Why does Santa play football better than Cinderella? His coach is not a pumpkin.
40. Why does Santa wear boots? Because of the rain, dear.
41. Why doesn't Santa get claustrophobia in the chimney shaft? He’s had his flue jab.
42. Why is a reindeer like a gossip? Because they both bear a tale.
43. Why is Christmas like an ordinary workday? The fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
44. What does Father Christmas call his money? Iced lolly.
45. What’s Father Christmas’s tea-break called? Santa pauses.
46. Why is it cold at Christmas? Because it's in Decem-brrrr
47. Why is Santa definitely a man? No woman would wear the same outfit each year.
48. Why is Santa like Scrooge? Because every buck is dear to him.
49. Why isn’t mistletoe famous? It’s not Holly-wood stuff.
50. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf-esteem.