Long Long ago in a far away land called "I've got manners" common courtesy did exist! People allowed others their breathing space, said "Excuse me" when they needed to walk past you, children were asked to ‘pipe it down' if they were misbehaving or talking too loudly outside their homes or play areas and people actually said please and thank you!
I'm writing this blog on a flight from Rome, I can hardly see, because the woman in front of me just had her dinner and decided to confine me to approximately 30 cm of breathing space by savagely reclining her chair into my face! The passenger behind me has made it very clear by pushing into the back of my seat, that there is no way I am even to dream of reclining ‘my' seat. So here I am dying to explode and scream "swine flu everyone ..... I've got it" just for kicks!
Here below are the situations which make me want to chew my hand off!!!
1. People standing too close to you in a queue.
Where? At the bank. Old people have a fear of being skipped in a queue and therefore shove their whole selves into your posterior. After a Saturday morning watching the poor teller patiently explain to a brainless twit that he needs his wife's signature to access his joint account, I smell of ‘old spice' or minestra. Last week I went to get my passport renewed. Finally my photo does do me justice and I've done away with the convict look on my old one!! Whilst paying for my passport a guy standing behind me was practically licking my ear he was so close to me. The young woman behind the desk had to tell him to step back whilst she muttered to me "kieku jista da jsir parti minnek."
I shuddered at the thought of it.
2. People belching loudly in public. On my very rare outings to Paceville my evening is never complete till a guy burps up a storm whilst he's walking back to his car. Faced with looks of disgust he will very drunkenly reply "eh tfewaqt tridx tilghaqli ****" - Charming!!!
3. People talking loudly on their cell phones or to each other. Like I give a flying pony's dung when Shenice started school or that Tasha dumped Darren or Tyron cheated on Nevise! Personal information should remain personal and we shouldn't over hear it. Also if someone wants to ask a question to anyone else why don't they just move closer to that person instead of yelling all the way across a room "Branstiiiiin, trid nuggets?" or "Lellyyyyyyy you want a bergeeeeehhhh?" Cue: queasy stomach due to the excessive fake posh tone!
4. What else consitutues lack of common courtesy you ask? - People who address you like a moron. When I travel I like to ask questions and find out things I'm unsure of before I get to an airport and find out I'm in the wrong terminal or when I break into a cold sweat when I realize that I'm stranded there because I don't have the right ticket. Experience teaches you all these things. So I asked if I would need to print out my reservation document at the hotel before I caught the airport shuttle, to which the receptionist replied with eye-rolling, huffing and puffing and a very cold "ma e ovvio che no, signorina" to which I would've loved to sneer, "if it were so obvious to me I wouldn't be asking, now would I?" he was possibly the only Italian male who didn't slobber at the sight of me...or the sight of any other female for the matter!
5. People who can't or rather won't control their children. How many times have you been out to dinner and I don't mean a fast food chain where you're asking for it..but a nice respectable eatery and "Rosemary's Baby" shows up in human form. Screaming and crying ensues or violent running around and bumping into your chair while you're trying to eat with chopsticks.
Of course my list could go on forever and I'm sure many of you could add to it and feel my pain. No I'm not senile in my twenties, I just wish someone would say "ooh I'm sorry" when they practically knock you over whilst on the way to the toilet in a nightclub and say Please and Thank you more often!