Hello, my name is Hugh and I am an alcoholic

I am not afraid to state that I need help. Please do not hurl abuse at me, sneer at me or blame me. Would you be angry with me if I had epilepsy or a thyroid problem? Well, in my case, only when you are in the presence of a monster, in my case the bottle, do you know what monstrosity is. My problem is a disease too. Please do not throw away any drinks I might have in front of me. That is a silly gesture because I can easily find more bottles. Do not attack me by word, deed or action because there is no one who hates me more than myself and your verbal abuse will only confirm the bad opinion I have of myself.

Do not be so willing to accept what I promise, my illness prevents me from keeping promises. For God's sake do not believe what I tell you, more often than not, it might be a lie.

A symptom of my illness is denial of reality and, funnily enough, my illness is such that I fail to respect anyone gullible enough to believe every word I say. Don't threaten me and then change your mind because, although I know that you threaten me because you love me, try to stick to whatever decision you make. Please don't cover up for me because that means you are denying I have a problem. At all costs do not lie on my behalf, pay my bills or meet any of my obligations because that could avert or reduce the very crisis that would prompt me to seek help. I can continue to deny that I have a drinking problem as long as you continue to provide an automatic escape from the consequence of my drinking. Do not let me take advantage of you in any way; love cannot exist for long without the dimension of justice. Don't let your deep and profound love lead you to do what I should do for myself. If you do that you will only be increasing my sense of guilt.

Above everything else, do please learn all you can about alcoholism. Go to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings; attend these meetings regularly so you will get to know all about me and my illness. Keep in touch with AA members because they are the people who can help you see the whole situation clearly.

Love you, your alcoholic.

Although this is a fictitious letter, all the people suffering from habits like drug addiction, gambling and alcoholism feel the same way inside. Giving in to them for the sake of loving them is like sprinkling an oyster with vinegar - no good will come out of that love. I suggest that the people who have a much loved family member addicted to some vice get outside help. Only the people who are specialised in their field can help them with their problem.