Fiona Galea Debono
‘We must strengthen families’
‘The traditional family model is changing’
The time was ripe for decisions to be made on family law, President George Abela suggested yesterday, questioning whether unions outside marriage should be recognised and cohabiting partners afforded similar marital rights.
He said he believed the sensitive subject of family law should be considered with empathy and compassion.
It was clearly understood that the family was composed of two married parents, a male and a female, and their offspring, and did not involve relationships between two men, or two women, he said quoting the UN Declaration of Human Rights.
But should the term “family” be used solely in the case of a couple that was officially married, he questioned, saying the answer had become a political priority.
Delivering the opening address of the Doha Colloquium on Strengthening Marriage and Family at the President’s Palace in Valletta, Dr Abela refrained from merely giving a general introduction.
He delved into the health and economic benefits of marriage and commented on the negative repercussions of divorce.
Married-parent families had a greater chance of contributing to safer and better communities, with less substance abuse and crime among youths, poverty and welfare dependency, he said.
Married parents were also more likely to produce young adults who viewed marriage positively and maintained life-long commitments.
“We must work hard to prevent family fragmentation because the consequences for children and society are severe,” Dr Abela said, quoting studies that have constantly shown children raised outside marriage suffered disproportionately from physical and mental illness among other disadvantages.
The family was a universal and irreplaceable community, rooted in human nature – the basis for all societies at all times – and it had to be strengthened, he insisted.
“It is through the breakdown of marriage that society is gravely harmed. The future of the nation depends on the creation of good marriages and good homes for children,” the president said.
Addressing the local situation, he said despite the increase in single-parent households and births outside wedlock sounding alarm bells, the marital bond was still strong, contrary to general perception.
But the family was also facing one of its greatest tests, influenced by Western lifestyles and society’s increasing secularisation. The traditional family model was changing, and whether its strong values would continue to resist the daunting challenges was a question mark.
“Of course, many hard-working single parents do an excellent job in raising children and need our support. But when a family breaks down, there are always negative outcomes for the children,” he said.
“Their feelings mirror those of children who have really lost a parent forever. But they are often underestimated and do not receive the same support,” Dr Abela continued.
“The trauma of a split can leave long-lasting effects on mental and physical health that remarriage may not repair,” he said.
The protection of the family was primarily the State’s responsibility, the President said, offering his suggestions, including the setting up and strengthening of structures, such as the National Commission for the Family.
The necessary resources would have to be allocated to the creation of a Commissioner for the Family and the establishment of an Inter-Ministerial Committee for a holistic strategy in favour of marriage and family, he said.
Dr Abela also suggested considering more fiscal incentives for families with children below a certain income, and pointed out that the family therapy service provided by Appoġġ was overburdened and needed more investment.
Educating students on the importance of stable marriages could be part of the national curriculum, he recommended.
Married couples, with healthy relationship skills, could share their experiences through the media, and volunteers could speak at schools on the benefits of marriage.
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Steve Pace
Oct 11th 2009, 10:28
@Gerrie Cowie - Quote "How can one person be defined as a family, Mr William P Flynn?" . Help me understand your argument. Is a widow with children no longer a family ?
William P Flynn
Oct 7th 2009, 23:39
@MarkBorg
Most people have a frustrating and impecunious beginning and I would encourage you not to worry unduly about the financial aspects of starting a life and a family with someone.
The world is an interesting and wonderful place and the future is full of possibilities if you have a positive attitude and find the right person.
I am sure that there would have been older people who read your comment whom you would consider wealthy, but who also started with nothing; and would gladly give it all away to have your youth and do it all over again; happy to start afresh with nothing,just to have their life's adventure again.
You are wealthy in the most desirable and precious commodity - time; and it is on your side.
Seize control of it and share it with someone as happily, intelligently, beneficially, usefully and productively as you can.
It is not unusual for this to bring fiinancial independence as a secondary added bonus.
Audrey Costa
Oct 7th 2009, 22:27
I am 29 years old - and married. We have happily committed to love and support each other through good times and bad times ..money is not an issue - love and sacrifice come together, and we have no doubts that we are together 'till death do us part'. One reason being that, as witnessed through our childhood, there is no better upbringing than to see parents holding on together through good and tough times..there is no better lesson to illustrate love. YesI have experienced the real beauty of being part of a united family and I shall continue to honour it. Thank you President George Abela for speaking out loud!
M Pace
Oct 7th 2009, 20:33
I would rather the 0ffice of the President steered away from such controversial and divisive issues and do its best to try to represent ALL citizens. I find the reference to the UN declaration rather short-sighted. Achieving consensus within the UN (which is made up of 192 countries) is difficult. UN Definitions are broad ,so broad in fact that they often amount to nothing especially when dealing with such delicate matters.
The Office of the President may have noticed that we joined a smaller organisation a few years back . This organisation has a much broader definition of the family and our understanding of it is constantly evolving. It's a slippery slope so I would be careful. I am rather hurt and offended by some of the statements they remind me of the proverbial bull in a china shop.
Carmel J caruana
Oct 7th 2009, 20:10
The President said: "He said he believed the sensitive subject of family law should be considered with empathy and compassion".
With all due respect, I can assure the president that those of us who have recognized that our first relationship was not healthy ( we refuse to call it a 'failed marriage' - we just made a mistake like the millions of other mistakes people make every day, nothing to feel ashamed of, none of us is infallible) are not interested at all in the empathy and compassion of religious bigots. Having another relationship is a RIGHT that all men and women have had since time immemorial. Unfortunately this right was taken away from us all by religious organizations who insist that they speak in God's name. If the President really wants Malta to move ahead socially and that all men and women have the right to choose their own way to happiness he needs to choose his words differently.
Gerry Cowie
Oct 7th 2009, 19:51
How can one person be defined as a family, Mr William P Flynn?
By the way, you may know that those who lose their limbs often imagine they still have them, so they might still consider using athlete's foot powder.
Whilst the traditional view of the family has changed, then surely the idea, where everybody involved is alive, of two committed persons bringing up children with stability for those children brought about by the committed union of those two persons, is something worth preserving, whether you are secularist or not.
Whilst the various types of "family" have been listed below, there is no need for anybody to attempt to rubbish the idea of a married couple just because it may have religious connotations or not appear to some to be politically incorrect.
There is a lot more to family than pushing different forms of family just to suit one's own views.
adrian aquilina
Oct 7th 2009, 18:31
families are not just a married man and women and children.a family is also 2 men or 2 women with or without children,cohabiting couples with or without children,divorced and remarried people.....................Malta cannot stop living in the past..GROW UP....everyone is equal and deserves the same protection..its time anyone who wants to be married,gays or straights,can get married and cohabiting couples get all the same rights.living under the laws and rules of a religion has never worked in any country
g. scerri
Oct 7th 2009, 16:33
How refreshing to have finally a President who will not stay put in his gilded cage.
Mark Cushcieri
Oct 7th 2009, 14:56
Marriages...child recognition etc is happening becuase of the cost of living nothing else...nowadays no-one affords a wedding...some declare as single mothers for benefits becuase the father is probably unemployed and cannot take care of them. period. Nowadays in Malta it is impossible to get a house and a family. Im 29 years old and would have loved a house and a family however with the measly wages I get I am lucky if I can survive...much more grow a family.
Eric Psaila
Oct 7th 2009, 11:47
A very nice speech indeed.
Perhaps it is a wake up call for the government to understand that by putting more economic pressures on the young Maltese families would mean more family breakups. It is a known fact that the No 1 culprit leading to seperations is financial.
We can argue that the government is in a difficult situation because of the financial crisis but the problems Malta has are more deep routed.
I can speak on tourism because that is my line.
Why did we lack so much foresight in the past when it came to allocate funds for advertising campaign overseas. Timing did not seem to matter and it is so much of essence to advertise at the right time. That is why Malta's tourism sector is in such a dire straits.
Of course the present economic situation does not help but the tourism sector would have been in a better position to face the present crisis if enough money was pumped into this sector at the right time and in the right medium in previous years. Why was the poster campaign in the PARIS metro stopped a couple of years back comes to mind?
William P Flynn
Oct 7th 2009, 11:35
It is disgraceful to hear that a single parent trying to bring his or her children up is ungenerously not defined as a family.
Or two cohabiting persons of any gender bringing up children. This can happen in the death or absence of the real parents and relatives or close friends may be entrusted with the job of parenting. Why aren't they considered a family?
In the case of a properly and lovingly conducted orphanage, that is a family.
One family may break down but another may continue and pick up the pieces without the luxury of the involvement of both the real parents. Sometimes two single parent families may merge into one family and new offspring may come.
Secularism isn't testing families; it is recognizing and catering realistically for all the hues and shades of all the types of families.
To these types of different families the superfluous drivel about "strengthening families" consisting of only the original married couple, is like talking about athlete's foot powder to an amputee who had both legs removed.