Marriage preparation

In courtship, more often than not, girls seem to get entangled more than boys. A romantic feeling in courtship is very important. In this atmosphere the magic of love grows and it stimulates the willingness of two people to share their lives. As life goes on, this strong romantic attachment is replaced by a quieter love.

While romance is wonderful, romance alone is not enough for a marriage. Sincere love means much more than a thrill; it means to sacrifice self for another. It is almost impossible to live with a selfish person.

Love can blind a person or temporarily impair a person's full vision.

Many serious mistakes in marriages were made because of this attitude. For instance, why is it that your parents see your boyfriend in such a different light from your way of seeing him? Presuming that your parents are not acting selfishly - and we must take this presumption because parents generally are the clearest examples of unselfish love - why have they come around at such a different assessment of this boy? In all fairness to yourself, it is important to stop for a moment and listen to what your parents have to say.

Here are some pertinent questions you may wish to ask yourself:

1. Is your boyfriend ready to put himself out for you?

2. Is he interested in you as a person?

3. Is he prepared to consider your point of view and respect your feelings especially when it comes to moral standards?

4. Does he get along sufficiently well with his own family? (If he does not, he may have formed habits of life that will carry over into your marriage.) His family background counts a great deal.

5. How does he treat his mother? Boys usually form their ideas of womanhood and how to relate to women from their mothers. He will almost certainly treat you the way he treats his mother now.

6. Is he still a "mummy's boy"? If so, he may unconsciously be expecting you to mother him; this is an intolerable role for a young bride.

7. Is he steady and stable at work and ever-willing to provide for a family? Many a husband expects his wife to go out and work as well.

8. Do you share the same standards of morality and religious principles especially when it comes to agreements on children?

9. Do you pray to God for a happy marriage? It is amazing how many people simply drift into marriage, the most important step in their adult life, without the adequate preparation that marriage demands.