Confessions of a hunter

The following is the text of my interview with Zeppi Xerri Sant, hunter and dedicated conservationist (and all the birds he's dedicatedly conserved are sitting (stuffed) in his cabinet).

I first asked Zeppi for his reaction to the recent judgment by the European Court of Justice regarding spring hunting in Malta.

"You see! You see we is right all the time. We hunters got the right to shoot kemm trid in spring. See, even the Eurovision say so."

"I um... I believe you actually mean the European Union, the EU."

"Ooh eva, Ee you, Eurovision... whatever. They knowed we have the right. So they is scared from us. That is why they say we must got the spring hunting eh!"

"Well, if I read the judgment correctly; what they actually said was, that only a very limited amount of spring hunting could be permitted under strict supervision, if it could be ensured the law is applied correctly."

"Ha! And who is going to say how much she is limited eh? You? Eh? You think now somebody - some big-head is going to come near me in my girna and say me stop to hunt... jew forsi you shoot too much? How will they know how much I shoot? U le gbin, me... I shoot how much I like and nobody, not the Ee you, the gvern or you will tell me how much I shoot... smijd?!"

"So what you are telling me is that you are prepared to break the law, right?"

"Law? What you say? The law says us we must hunt how much we want... even in the spring. Ux law!"

"No, I'm afraid not. What Brussels actually said - "

"Who?"

"The EU."

"Ehe... kompli."

"What it actually said was that hunting in spring would have to be in limited numbers and according to strict rules."

"Ha! Skuzi ta, but who do you think is going to enforce these so-called qanna 'strict rules'. Tell me ghid?"

"There's more. It says: 'Any proposed derogation for spring hunting in Malta would have to be proportionate with the aims of the Birds Directive on the conservation of wild birds, as well as complying with the conditions prevailing under Article 9, subsection 1C of the -'"

"Konservajxin... Of course, that's what we is doing eh.

Konservajxining these birds. Like I tell you... the Eurovision x'ghidulu make us the permess to hunt how much we want... u daqsekk!"

"I think you'll find it's a little more complicated than that. And I also think that all you ahem... hunters will be subject to very stringent supervision during any spring hunting window."

"Ehe, by whom?"

"Well, by the police, whose job it is to supervise these things."

"U le! They is too busy booking all of us who parks our trucks illegal eh? They make nothing."

"Lissin, hunting is my hobby, not game. And nobody qanna gonna stop me from it. You hear me? X'afarijed dawn!"

"Excuse me Mr Xerri Sant but... isn't that just the sort of irresponsible attitude that has got the members of your fraternity such a bad name in the local media and among the vast majority of the population?"

"Lissin... I don't care what nobody say, I am hunter OK, so I do what I want from my hobby u daqsekk."

"And to hell with authority, is that it?"

"Azgur! H'anghidlekk sinjur. This gvern she is not stupid ta. She knows she must have the votes from us hunters when comes it the elekxin. So bilfors they don't do nothing and they stay quiet. Ha! You think is the gvern that runs this country?"

"Well that is what they were elected to do."

"Hallini gbin, they know nothing... xejn! It is we hunters who is the gvern here; everybody knows it. And if we want to make something the spring hunting xghidulu... we make it and not you, nor il-gvern, nor Euro xissmu is gonna stop us... u daqsekk! So pass me that mist net, then get out of my girna.