"I Fratelli - Trattoria e Vineria" on the Valletta waterfront is a place you might have walked by several times but failed to notice. Once you get past the tiny door and climb the spiral staircase to the upper level you will find out that this trattoria is a conflict between tradition and modernity.
The combinations of shapes, earth colours and wood textures are combined with weathered Maltese limestone to create an interesting effect. Such interior brings back memories of a hangout I visited in Rotterdam - except for the bathrooms of course - which I will save for later! A parquet floor leads the way in a catwalk-style to the kitchen where the chef is busy at work ensuring that all guests are served in time.
I decide that the upper level of "I Fratelli," is a little bit too quiet right now, except for a married couple sitting by the window which hinges over a magnificent view of the waterfront. The man is in a t-shirt so small that it seems to push his body fluid into his flushed cherubic cheeks and the bleached-bird like woman that is obviously his wife is picking on her food in sheer boredom. This is supposedly the most romantic setting, but I fail to see any sparks!
Right opposite, the Fratelli Trattoria e Vineria offer more tables by the edge of the water. The setting is brighter and ideal for people watching/spotting. The chairs and tables they have opted for clash with the ones upstairs. I don't like the garden furniture outside so much, and much prefer the sleek and modern look inside.
Pierre Portelli arrives just as I settle down on table number 7. It looks like he has embraced a new sharpness and looks powerful and hip in a striped Tommy Hilfiger T-shirt and blue jeans; A splendid example of the modern executive gone casual and feeling very comfortable in his shoes. He looks all set to unwind and enjoy the evening.
There is a smile on his face that radiates a lot of positive energy, and a ready excuse on his tongue for turning up 5 minutes late. It's okay Pierre... I've had time for some people watching meanwhile, and that was very rewarding.
A jolly, middle-aged waiter with a Robbie-Williams-like tattoo on his elbow, springs forward and hands us the menus. Unlike other waiters who only wear boring black shoes, Mr Jolly has funked up his black uniform with funky black & white slippers. I half expect him to read out the specials and do some tap-dancing at the same time. A kind of -"Valletta Waterfront's Got Talent" sort of thing. He is exceptionally polite.
I inquire about the tattoo, and Pierre finds out that the guy is actually a Valletta boy just like himself. Hailing from Floriana - I feel like the enemy trapped in the middle.
The food menu offers a good selection of different Italian influenced dishes. Prices seem reasonable enough, and they even have a kids menu as a backup. The wine list is very concentrated on Maltese rather than foreign wines. I'm spotting several wines I have not seen on other wine lists so far. An additional list is included inside the menu offering wines from the Sovrano Ordine di Malta. It would have been interesting to try one of them, but I have already decided for a local Caravaggio priced at 18.00.
"I'll have the Spaghetti con Vongole." Pierre is an instant decision maker. "And very al dente!" Yes, he knows what he wants.
Nutrition is the new buzzword, so randomly, I decide for something I consider to be less toxic. I order the "Insalata con Pollo affumicato" which consists of smoked chicken, honey roasted pumpkin, almonds, pears, dried figs and cherry tomatoes on peppery green leaves.
Most people associate Pierre Portelli with Net Tv, but the man has done far more than just being head of news. A one time rocker and drummer (try to imagine him with long fuzzy hair), and employee with Maltapost, he has gone to University and graduated with honours in Communications. He is now the successful managing director and owner of Watermelon Media Production house and a publishing company called PND. He produces some of the hottest shows on the local stations - Think of L-Ispjun and Divided.
He is a straightforward guy with boundless energy and chutzpah, and lucky enough to have double the amount of eye lashes on his eyelids than most men.
"What would you like to have done which you have not done yet?" I ask him casually as Mr Jolly and his assistant bring our food.
"Run for elections," he replies, tasting the wine and approving it. There is a smile on his lips. The ethos of his thoughts resembles the ethos of the sun: Professional and cheeky.
"And if you were a pen... would you like to belong to Julia Farrugia or Daphne Caruana Galizia?" I'm diving into my salad to find the smoked chicken.... The salad is crisp and tasty but finding the chicken ain't easy!
"Daphne!" he exclaims, working on his vongole in the most organized way. I'm very impressed by the smooth operation of the fork and spoon. "A little bit too much onion with the sauce," he tells me. I ask if he cooks, and he tells me that he does it sparingly.
Pierre is married to Diane, and has three children; Katrina, Hannah, and Zac. He speaks about them with a passion and devotion that is worth mentioning. I am getting to know the softer side of Pierre Portelli and it is a delightful and intriguing combination to how perhaps people may perceive him to be.
I choose this delicate moment to ask him a question he is not expecting. Which would fetch the most money - His brains or his heart? Not an easy question to answer, but he says it would have to be his heart.
"And who would you be happy to sell it to?" I ask, probing further.
"To be very honest with you, it's not up for sale," he says. This answer will probably earn him a guaranteed 5 years of nouvelle cuisine dinners from his wife!
We talk until one bottle of Caravaggio is gone and the world seems a joke. Pierre confesses he has a sweet tooth and orders a pannacotta and an espresso. I can also reveal that he has a love affair.... With coffee!
"To whom would you send an SMS reading: I'm disappointed?"
"Lawrence Gonzi," he tells me with a laconic smile. If he had pulled a Samurai sword from his trousers and started slashing away my shirt buttons I might not have looked so surprised. "Of course, for the lack of Government customer care that's why!" He explains quickly.
I feel the calling. We have almost ended our evening, and conversation has been so interesting I have almost forgotten to embark on my customary bathroom trip. I can't decide if I like or dislike it. The little triangular space is as exciting and unpredictable as bacon, sausages and fried eggs for breakfast.
The bleached bird and her man have gone home to a night of joy, but the upper level is now alive with more clients. As I pass by the bar, one of the waiters asks me if everything has been to our liking. I respond that it has, and ask him to settle the bill which amounts to 43.80 (That includes the Salad, Vongole con calamari, the Caravaggio wine, a small bottle of fizzy water, the Pannacotta and the espresso).
As we head for the car, Pierre and I discuss some TV productions. There is one question I am dying to ask him, and finally I do. Who has made him sweat the most from his leading ladies: Andreana Debattista (L-ispjun), Graziella Attard Previ (L-ispjun), and Moira Delia (Divided).
He answers that he is far too calm to sweat. I push further. He finally gives in. No.. No.. Not telling! Take your guess!
RATING: 1 - 7
Wine - *****
Ambience ****
Food - *****
Service *****