Angie Laus comes in a miniature pack of saucy Mediterranean looks, harmless rebellion, and a powerful mix of excitement and fun that when shaken and stirred, show no sign of stopping. A force field of Dior's poison precedes her as she sashays her way towards me clad in a minuscule black dress that outlines the essential curves in the most elegant manner possible.

We peck each other on the cheek, doing the customary kissing thing, and I sink back into my seat from where only a few minutes earlier I was enjoying one of the most breathtaking views of St Paul's bay.

Il Veccja, just on the borderline to Xemxija, offers an atmosphere of disciplined tranquillity. The view does all the talking and is definitely one of the most beautiful places to enjoy a glass of chilled white wine on a lazy summer night. Like many other wine bars it is split in two levels. The upper level is an a la carte restaurant and the lower level is a delightful terrace that has been turned into a wine bar. As we sit and enjoy the sunset dissolving into the clear blue waters, memories of Mykonos bubble irresistibly to mind. The interior is done up in blues, and the floor seems to be something between terracotta and a murky orange. It evokes an instant summer feel, and I am tempted to give some trendier design tips to the owner, because I feel it has so much more potential that has not yet been exploited. However, it works well, and the view remains spellbinding.

A British lady, earlier eying me suspiciously from behind the bar area, brings over our menu and smiles shyly.

"Oooh, I have been so looking forward to this," Angie enthuses as she settles onto her seat on the terrace and takes in the view. "And I'm all set and ready for your questions!"

I tell her that I am very ready too, but maybe it would be a good idea to have a look at the menus first and place our order. I just hate it when the waiting staff keep coming back and forth to see if we are ready, and we never are. So, this time I decide to first look at the menu and then do all the talking.

The wine list, honestly, looks like a Eurovision leader board. It opens up like a big, rectangular diary with two pages that have little, colourful flags to indicate the country the wine comes from, the name of the wine, and the price. You have to somehow be familiar with the wines because there is no wine description whatsoever. Portugal gets 0 points, as a little white sticker indicates they are out of it. Angie chooses an E & J Gallo Chardonnay from California priced at 16.30.

Next, we look at the blue, plastic paper that is the food menu. They serve about five different platters and some salads, and open ftiras. The owner, who has an uncanny resemblance to ex football champ Diego Armando Maradona (maybe it is the head full of curls), tells us that he is in the process of changing the menus. I think they could change the presentation of the menu as they are not so attractive, but the content is quite okay. He informs us that they have some pasta specials if we are interested. We're not.

I turn to Angie, and study her intently before popping my first question. She is really looking dashing today, and I just love the Maria Callas asymmetric hair-cut. Her liquid brown eyes look like Maltesers embedded in warm nougat, and her lips have been splashed with a gentle toffee lipstick (I note she has cheated with the lip liner, so her lips appear bigger and sexier).

"If somebody had to write your autobiography, what would it be called?" I ask.

She stares at me blankly, and I offer some help in the form of: I'M NOT A GIRL - NOT YET A WOMAN. I'M NO ANGEL...JUST A DEVIL. NAUGHTY BUT NICE.

She removes a tendril from her face elegantly, and settles for Naughty but Nice.

Her response fuels my other question. "Your first kiss was with whom?"

Angie now throws her head back and laughs. She tells me she remembers it of course, and the guy's name was Andvin. I'm not sure I understand correctly, at first I think she has kissed a wine bar because of the "Vin", but then she spells it out for me.

The British lady interrupts us briefly and places the American wine on our table in an ice bucket. "The food is on the way," she informs us.

Back to more kissable questions.

"And your longest kiss?"

"My husband, Duane," she tells me boldly. It must have been very long because she has absolutely no doubt about that. I could almost hear her stomach turn mildly in the anticipation of the next question, but she is saved in time by the food.

My-oh-my! The food! We ordered a cheese and salami platter and an open salmon ftira thinking that we can combine both since platters are usually not too big. What a mistake! The servings are immense. We are both stunned as the gigantic offerings are placed in front of our eyes, and I am sure we both inwardly wonder how the hell we are going to manage all this food.

"Oh, and I'm a veggie," so you can have the salami she tells me. Wonderful... I have to get my expired gym card activated.

We wine and dine, enjoying the view whilst sharing some of the spicy gossip the local scene has to offer. I learn that she has an eleven-year-old son called Mick Allen (probably a name taken from one of her favourite soaps), and that she is a die-hard fan of Michael Jackson. Oh, and a hilarious dressing room moment I can't possibly write about so as not to shame the players involved.

The music at Il veccja is well chosen, and kept at a very decent volume. I am now wondering if the Gents are anything to write home about. In fact, they are not. Once again they follow the boring trend of many other places I have reviewed before, and they fail to impress me. As exciting as a sleeping pill I would say.

Back to more exciting questions with Angie Laus, the Tv presenter and producer of the Hadd Ghaliek and Pjazza fame "If you had to date a girl who would you date?"

Her lips spread into a smile and her white teeth flash like a lighthouse. "Mmm... can I choose two?"

Now I am the one to be surprised. "Yes, go ahead," I tell her knocking down the Californian wine.

"The Agius sisters - Pauline and Clare. They are both such adorable ladies."

Diego shows up to check if everything is okay. We tell him that we are fine, and that the food has been lovely, but way too much. He responds with a satisfied smile and vanishes back inside to greet a new set of customers. I recognize an older lady I have come across in another wine bar recently. Her hair colour has changed into a brighter shade of orange, and her man friend is also brand new. The ghastly choral necklace remains the same, and the grotesque make-up has been intensified for night time seduction.

"Would you rather get a Love-injection or a Success-injection?" I ask Angie, just before we get ready to leave.

She has to think about this one for a while, and then settles for the Love-injection.

The bill amounts to €34.35. Considering the wine, the breathtaking view, and the amount of food I find it to be very decent.

RATING: 1 - 7

Wine - *****

Ambience ******

Food - *****

Service ****

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