I’ll soon be there!”

It’s Mireille Bonello assuring me that she will turn up for our 8.15 p.m. appointment in time.

I’m in Sliema, waiting for her just outside the Sliema car park, all set and ready for Del Capo Restaurant/wine bar. As I stand there I take time to observe a few characters parading close by and recognise some familiar faces.

Joe Saliba is on a semi-jog/semi-walk with his wife, a known athlete is running around semi-naked turning a few heads, and a well-groomed CEO is picking up his secretary for some after-hours overtime. One has to kill time in one way or another!

Mireille turns up 15 minutes later. She is all smiles and apologies and I have to immediately forgive her once I see her dazzling vision lighting up the drab car park area. She has really and truly made an effort, and she’s got the bones, the elegance and the attitude to carry it off. The chestnut hair has been shampooed, blow-dried and flicked into cover-girl mode… The earrings are gold and funky, designed to match a diamond-studded micro handbag… The dress is short and revealing and could almost fool you into thinking it’s a genuine Missoni. Mireille, Mireille, we’re off to a wine bar… not to the Fashion Awards! She looks like a million dollars.

Once we hit Level 5 and step into the fairy tale surroundings of Del Capo, I realise that Mireille fits the ambience like a glacier in Iceland. She is not at all overdressed. I’m simply loving the way the designers have gone about creating a place where one can go to get a taste of trendy urban energy. The bedouin areas are elegant and cosy, and glow with the reflection of several coloured lights festooned around them. The big problem for us is choosing a spot we like because we are spoilt for choice. Should we sink onto one of the many sofas upholstered in fresh, white cotton or maybe settle for one of the tables underneath the gazebos? We make a bee-line for the gazebo.

The service seems top notch too. They are very alert. A middle-aged gent asks a young girl with a heavy Sliema intonation to attend to us. She is young and smiley, and takes five minutes to say a sentence most people can say in 30 seconds. “Hiiiiiiiiiiii! I’ll get you meeeenuuuuuuuuuus!”

Del Capo is equipped with a full-fletched restaurant with shimmering glass from floor to ceiling, which you can look into when sitting on the roof garden sipping on wine and nibbling on food. The wine bar menu – though not extensive – is a thoughtful mix of different wines from all over the world. The food selection is very decent, offering a total of eight platters, some salads, and focaccias. A little note informs you to ask for their restaurant menu should you wish for anything else.

We choose the frivolezze e delizie del Mediterraneo, which is their house speciality priced at €23, and the Rawson’s Retreat from Australia is a tempting coda.

The order is taken. The smiles have been exchanged. “Thaaaaaaaank yoooooou.”

I tell Mireille that so far Del Capo has hit the right note with me, and she agrees that it looks good, but maybe we should wait to taste our platter. The only thing I dislike is walking through a car park to get to it.

La Bonello (maiden name), is/was a catwalk model, a former beauty-queen-turned-TV presenter “and good at it!” By day, her work is less glamorous though it is something she seems to like very much. This girl is into numbers and Excel sheets, working as an assistant financial controller with a local advertising company. She tells me a little story about being chatted up by Ryan Giggs and Michael Owen (the football stars) when she was younger and not knowing who they were. She actually told Giggs that her uncle had a dog called Ryan Giggs! And oooh… for all those of you ready for another hot piece of information… Mireille tells me a little story about flying to some beauty pageant abroad and being asked if she wanted to win the show by a famous Italian presenter. She said she wanted to of course (who wouldn’t?) so he asked her to show up in his room so he could get her details. She passed on that.

I’m about to pop my questions when the wine sommelier appears. His uniform is shiny as black ice and his smile whiter than Dixan powder. He knows his job, and does it well. Mireille tastes the wine and approves of it even before it runs loose on her tongue.

I’m like a panther waiting to pounce. Once the Dixan man is gone I sharpen my claws and leap elegantly into motion.

“Which part of your body would you scar for a million euros?” I ask in a mellow voice.

“My derrier,” she admits knocking down the wine. She shrugs, helplessly.

“And you will purposely pour steaming black coffee… on whose dress?”

Her lips curl like a snap dragon (they have just been glossed up with some high-tech mascara that actually lights up once you pull the brush from the tube).

“My husband’s ex!” she says firmly. I want a name. She tells me the name. A known name. I try to convince her into actually letting me mention it. She can’t decide… So I will let you all, think of the letter “V”. Maybe you should think of the “V” twice actually!

The seafood platter is served in the most luxurious way. Three girls carry it to our table and for a split second I think they have been hired from Tanya Bayona’s ballet school. One can certainly rely on superior service and quality at Del Capo. The platter looks like it has been designed by a high-flying fashion designer and everything is very tasty, except for the prawns which I feel could have been nicer. Just like I feel the bathroom could have been a thousand times nicer. White and boring, with a broken bulb. Ring the designer now please, and ask him to funk it up.

La Bonello is enjoying herself, and so am I. Despite having said that the wine is a tad too fruity for her she now tempts me with a second bottle.

“How many boyfriends did you have before Pierre?” I ask, attacking a lovely octopus.

She stops to think, her “dark blue” eyes sparkling. “Two!” Just like the skeletons in her closet…. Which amount to the magic number of two.

I’m a little bit tipsy, and so is Mireille. A Serbian waiter pops by to check if we need anything else, but we tell him we are fine and have a friendly conversation with him. Del Capo has an army of waiting staff it seems. They really can’t go wrong on the service.

“Ever cheated on your former boyfriends?” I’m tipsy…. So my tongue is loose! I’m not really sure, but I do seem to hear a soft “yes”. The music is a little bit too loud for my taste, but once we tell them to lower it they do it at once, and conversation is so much better.

The evening rolls on bathed in a magical atmosphere. It’s almost 2 a.m. but somehow it feels like the clock did not even strike the midnight hour. It’s an early call for the assistant financial controller. Her brain power needs to be in perfect shape tomorrow morning, so we get the bill which amounts to €38.50.

On the way out I spot a girl-friend of mine I have not seen in ages. She is lounging on one of the sofas with a Latin lover she has probably shipped from Spain (she’s got a fetish for Spaniards). We briefly interrupt their intimate moment, and then head on to the elevator. “How many shoes do you have in your closet?” I ask as the doors lock behind us.

“Around 65,” she tells me, her “blue” eyes hazy with sleep.

“Well, thank God that the skeletons are by far less,” I reply.

RATING: 1 – 7

Wine - *****

Ambience - *******

Food - *****

Service - ******

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