Midsummer, not

It's midsummer, but it's not, if you see what I mean. 15th August, which is when you're reading this for the first time, is actually almost two months after the Summer Solstice, but if like me you measure the Dreaded Season by a) the heat and b) the distance from when government offices get back to what passes for a full day's work (thereby making the rest of us follow suit), it's pretty much half-way over.

Summer, that is.

And the quicker the better, as far as I'm concerned, since the heat is past a joke, for all that it's not been so bad, so far. The weekend is looming with a smacking of downstairs wind (that's a literal translation, which I'll leave in place for those who will get it, for the rest of you, that's to say that horrid hot and humid weather in store) but we're heading off north, so I'll survive.

Not that you were particularly worried, I'll warrant.

Something else I've managed to miss, this summer so far, by judicious transfer of domicile as necessary, has been the audible excesses resorted to by those for whom religious celebration involves imposing themselves on everyone else. Living as I do in the centre of both islands, at varied times, bad timing would find me at the epicentre of the explosions, but probably more by luck than by judgment we've avoided the worst, though I suspect being in Gozo this weekend will mean that I've not managed to get away with it completely.

I intend to annoy people, therefore, by proposing that the powers that be (and the powers that wannabe, i.e. the opposition) give consideration to regulating fireworks and the detonation thereof. In the hope of avoiding the eternal opprobrium of the fanatics, let me hasten to say that I am not, repeat not, advocating the banning of fireworks, except after, say, half-past midnight (though that is stretching it, frankly).

What I am suggesting is banned, once and for all, are those ludicrous petards, the ones that seem to have been getting louder and louder over the years.

Again, I am not suggesting that there should be a total ban on the foies de joie (sorry about the spelling) that accompany certain aspects of festi.

However, there is no need for the celebrating village or town or parish and its neighbours, fit and well or young and ailing or whatever, to be shaken by explosions of epic proportions at all hours of the day. This is barbarism, pure and simple and - though I might be wrong - I am under the distinct impression that the explosions are getting louder and more profound year after year.

Not being an aficionado, I do not know the law regulating the level of noise and violence of explosion that accompanies fireworks. In fact, I don't know if there is any such law, and from recent interjections in court, it would seem that there is none, and nor does there seem to be any legal regime imposing good neighbourliness in lieu of the thuggishness that obtains at present.

Is it beyond the wit of man to establish a way forward that satisfies the aspirations of all concerned?

While we're about it, we could think about toning down the amplified bouts of religious fervour that are transmitted around the streets whenever members of the majority religion deem it appropriate so to so, but these are transient annoyances which could be lived with, I suppose.

I'm not optimistic that we're going to get anywhere with this idea, of course. The way most politicians, of whatever stripe, suck up to the lowest common denominator means that the loudest shouting will get the best response, said response being to ignore the fact that most people enjoy those blasts as much as they like the idea of indiscriminate hunting being allowed.

On the contrary, I'm morally convinced that if the idea of dialling-back on fireworks is even mooted, there will be a significant number of opportunists on both sides who will wrap themselves in the flag of "our traditional pastimes" and fight for the right of the more sweaty and grungy members of the great unwashed to impose themselves on the rest of us.

imbocca@gmail.com, http://www.timesofmalta.com/blogs