Madliena Cottage breathes an air of luxurious idleness. If you enjoy epic comfort in quiet surroundings away from the maddening crowd, then this should be something for you. The cottage is set in the middle of nowhere and vaguely recalls childhood memories of Little House on the Prairie.
The restaurant proportions are perfect: high ceilings, a good strong rectangular shape, well placed windows, and neatly set tables that are scrupulous without being fussy. As I walk past the restaurant into the wine bar, I pass a table with some early diners: A group of six Scandinavians, four of them looking like they have just won a beauty contest, and the other two looking like they are distant relatives of Susan Boyle.
Loosening the cement to elegance, the wine bar has more the Saloon type of feel - Almost tinged with that archetypal Bugibba flavour, but not quite. It is laid back, with wine barrels around the room meant to substitute tables, and a big burgundy sofa that provides a deserved touch of colour to break the heavy wood.
My guest, king of TV talk shows, ex Eurosong chairman, and leading travel entrepreneur - Norman Hamilton - arrives on the hour. I note he has shed the business suit and tie, and has opted for a grey t-shirt with sky-blue stripes, and grey trousers that nevertheless do not remove anything from his customary London panache. He really looks like an English lord coming back home to his cottage after a relaxing afternoon filled with Earl Grey Tea and scones.
It's hellishly hot inside, so I suggest that it might be nice to sit on the terrace outside. We briefly discuss the possibility of being attacked by mosquitoes, but then decide to live dangerously and head for the plastic green tables in the outdoor area.
The waitress/manager struts behind us and hands over the menu. She could easily have been a rock chick in another life. The hair is black and wild, and the skin is baked mahogany brown - George Hamilton style!
Norman is in a talkative mood, and I ask him how he got into the travel business in the first place. He tells me it was a strange twist of fate that fuelled his successful career in the industry. He was in London at the time with his family, and picked up a brochure from a travel agent after a Disney trip gone wrong. Back then, Euro Disney was about to open its doors to the world, and he was quick and smart enough to see this as a good opportunity to expand his business. A definite feather in the cap!
"So if you had to be a country, which country would you be?" I ask gingerly.
"Dubai!" he tells me quickly. "It's an amazing country which the Makthum family had the foresight to convert into a money-making machine. They are aiming to host 15 million tourists a year!"
Mmmm - I'm up for adoption! Where are the Makthum family please?
After a closer look into Dubai we look into the menu. I am particularly impressed with the food menu to start with. Although the choices are rather limited, they are very varied.
Madliena Cottage wine bar offers baked open ftiras with a selection of different toppings. In addition you can opt for a fresh chicken liver pate, a mixed seasonal salad, a sea urchin risotto, or choose between penne pesto or Linguine. If you are not up to any of that and simply want to share a platter you can spoil your taste buds with a Mediterranean platter, a seafood platter, a SUPREME seafood platter (supremely priced at 35.00 euros), and a mixed chicken platter. Not enough? Well, then try the selection of continental cheeses or the three different dips.
I have an overdose of platters so I choose the Linguine of fresh local prawns with marinated zucchini and prawn bisque (14.50), and Norman follows my example.
Next we flip the wine list which I notice is very meticulously arranged to make it very user friendly for the more impatient guests. We choose a fresh white wine from the Loire Valley in France - Pouilly sur Loire Le Bremailles priced at 18.50. I've had this wine before and know it to have an intense nose with floral scents and very fresh on the palate. It has a delightful taste of orange and mint.
Georgina Hamilton takes our order, flashes a smile, and hurries off.
I need to use the bathroom. Norman tells me that he loves the bathroom moment in the Private Eye section, and is eager to know my reaction.
Well, don't hold your breath. Although I have never seen a triangular shaped bathroom in my life, it is such fun you might consider sitting through an excruciating episode of Days of Our Lives. Once again, a pity for not injecting some creative thought into the bathroom. With a beautiful place like Madliena cottage, I would have expected that. Maybe, the toilets in the restaurant are funkier. I will have to check that next time!
"Which Programme would you present on NET TV?" I ask my guest once I am back and our food and wine are on the table.
Norman strikes a relaxed posture. "If they accept me, a sports programme," he tells me with a mischievous smile.
"And one you would never present on ONE TV?" I shoot back.
He tells me that my questions are not what he expected. Finally, he says he would never present a woman's magazine programme.
The prawn Linguine are to die for! My taste buds spark into action, and I highly recommend them to anybody who enjoys a good plate of pasta. The wine is an excellent choice to wash them down.
Speaking of hunger I ask him the most weird question ever. "Imagine you are on a deserted island with Valerie Vella, Claudette Pace, and Eileen Montesin. Whom would you eat to survive?"
He tells me that he would keep Valerie Vella alive. Mathematically, that means he would send Claudette and Eileen to the roast. Bon apetit!
Norman possesses a personal charm and sneaky-fun sides that are worth discovering. As the evening rolls like an action packed movie I get to know the man much better than I ever did before. He is married to Josette Grech, and has two lovely daughters - Davinia and Yasmin. He is absolutely not good at drawing, but makes up for that by having optimal organisational skills. He tells me he has worked hard for his success, although luck does come into the equation somewhere along the road.
Our rock chick waitress with the George Hamilton tan, comes over every 2nd minute to ask us if everything is okay. Do we need anything else? Are we sure all is okay? If we need anything we should just let her know! Mmmm, I am tempted to ask which sun tan lotion she uses, but then bite my tongue. I would love that tan... or maybe a shade or two lighter.
We collect the little darling and damages amount to 47.50. Prior to leaving I ask Norman the Grace Borg Vs Robert Abela question. "They are challenging each other in a boxing match. Who would you cheer, Grace or Robert?"
He smiles and tells me he enjoys excellent relations with both of them. However, he would not like to be a referee in that match. Yes Norman, those talons might leave some permanent damage.
Madliena Cottage is now busting with young people heading for the wine bar. On my way to the car I run into two women aged somewhere between 40 and 50 - one dressed as a zebra, the other as a leopard strutting on Portomaso-high heels. A real case of mutton dressed as lamb complete with caked up make-up. The Mediterranean entertainment for the Scandinavians is on the way!
RATING: 1 - 7
Wine - ****** Ambience ****
Food - ***** Service *****