Husbands responsible for four of 10 murdered women

Albert Spiteri

Jul 16th 2009, 09:21

I am not in favour of divorce. I have been married for 42 years and my son and daughter are both married. We all have normal marriages, with all the difficulties that life and human weakness can throw at any married couple.
Having said that, I agree divorce laws should be introduced. Divorce has nothing to do with morals or morality. Divorce is a legal institution which people are free to use or ignore. Besides, divorce is as old as marriage itself.
I have foreign friends who have been living a normal married life for decades after their first marriage had failed. I also have friends who decided to divorce late in life, after long years of marriage.
The fact is that two persons undergo many personality changes over the years. Sometimes these changes kill love and push a couple apart. In such situations, divorce is a solution.
Aging together wisely is no mean feat and nobody has the right to condemn people who are not so blessed. When that happens, divorce is again a solution. In my opinion legislators have no call going moralistic when legislating. Refusing divorce to those who need it is undemocratic, paternalistic, cruel and fundamentalistic.

E Compagno

Jul 16th 2009, 07:40

I once read this in an article:

"Seated at the dinner table, you are probably looking at your murderer - if you meet your end that way."

A very high percentage of all murders on women are committed by members of their family. Usually their partner.

Ps. The article says 'husband'.. not partner, boyfriend or father of her children. Like the woman murdered in her flat by her ex boyfriend, infront of their own daughter in.. San Gwann was it?

Divorce is essential. Shelters for abused women are blessed but unfortunately not enough! The government MUST start seriously funding these shelters and if people can donate to animal shelters, then they should think about shelters that give women and children in such situations some peace, safety, tranquillity and a new chapter in their lives.

Also, our courts of law should come down heavy on physical abusers of women and children. "But WHY did he hit her?" is another slap in the face.

Because he's a coward. That's why. It's easier and safer to hit women and kids, who are usually shorter and physically weaker. Our courts need to send the message that this is criminal - before she is murdered.

Cmicallef

Jul 16th 2009, 04:17

And yet, despite these statistics - women's shelters are amongst the most poorly supported charities in Malta recieving very little financial aid from the government.

James De Giorgio

Jul 15th 2009, 21:40

@ D Vella, as if divorce will solve the problem. So you're asserting that in all the other countries where divorce is allowed, there aren't any marital or extra-marital murders, aren't you?

Poohey....
People kill partners, girlfriends, husbands, wives and exs all the time, even where divorce is the norm of the day.

James De Giorgio

Jul 15th 2009, 21:35

Well I thought husbands were after the mother-in-law...!

Miguel Micallef

Jul 15th 2009, 20:08

The fact that everyone is speaking about women that need to "be saved" from domestic violence speaks much the current situation.

It seems as if many women's constant psychological abuse of their husbands, doesn't exist. Some of these wives also physically abuse their husbands.

These cases are seldom reported, since most of the men involved rather suffer the abuse than the humiliation and stigma of being abused by a woman. However, one can still find a good amount of them.

To all the witty ladies here who were asking if they should be stabbed for burning the roast - I can assure you no husband will stab his wife for burning the roast, usually it's something just slightly worse ;) In no way am I saying that any kind of violence is good, but let's just stop trying to be funny...

My point is - domestic violence is not about men beating women. It's about one person abusing the other.

Also, let's get that divorce legalisation going.... maybe Malta will step into the 1980s some day!! :D

Claudine Cassar

Jul 15th 2009, 19:47

@ Theodore Hahn

You are assuming that a man who kills a woman would have lived an exemplary life, and suddenly snapped. The reality, however, is that most often the physical abuse would have been going on for years, and then one day, the abuser takes it a step too far.

No underlying reason justifies murder. If a husband has had enough of a wife, he is entitled to walk out. He is not entitled to kill her.

Theodore Hahn

Jul 15th 2009, 19:04

@Claudine Cassar & Ms P M Graham

To justify or deny the existence of abuse, like I stated in my last sentence was not my point. The situations you are proposing seem from another world but actually do exist still nowadays.

The point I tried to make was that (at least) the popular balance of justice always seems to have a slight inclination towards the female even if sheis the perpetrator other than the victim. If a woman stabs a man, people think that he was abusive and probably deserved it.

Also, I believe there are underlying reasons why an apparently sane person "suddenly" (although I doubt these things happen suddenly because the road to despair is a slow and constant journey) and out of the blues decides to give up his freedom and doom his life to an existence in jail.

No injustice or abuse is ever anything good, but there are underlying reasons to these and yes they are explainable (not JUST-ifiable). In addition in view of this, I do not think pointing fingers and labelling people as "criminals", "abusers" and any other fancy word does any good either.

Ms P M Graham

Jul 15th 2009, 19:04

Anthony Roberts, let this be the absolute right time to post an article like this.

Claudia Calleja, you've started something. Can you see it through?

P Debono

Jul 15th 2009, 17:57

@ Gemma Vella

If your comment had come from a man, he'd be labelled "sexist", perhaps sent to Court by a group of feminists calling for his head and probably convicted.

A Cassar

Jul 15th 2009, 17:26

I wish the best of luck to Mrs Hahn
I suggest she wears a stab-proof jacket at all times.....just in case she gets on Theodore's nerves!

Anthony Roberts

Jul 15th 2009, 17:17

I think that this article is in very poor taste at this moment in time. It could have waited until the poor woman who was stabbed in Tarxien had been laid to rest and the family had come to terms with their loss. There are those who have been through hell in their marriages and they are still suffering, whether they are divorced or separated, nothing justifies such an extreme vent of anger.

D.Diacono

Jul 15th 2009, 16:41

@gemma vella (4 hours, 48 minutes ago)
Ban all husbands,knives and guns and more women will be alive

imbghad mur ghix go kunvent tas soirijiet tal klawsura !!!

Ms P M Graham

Jul 15th 2009, 15:58

Claudine Cassar, thank you for posting that response far better than I could have done. I'm afraid my response to Theodore Hahn would have been heavily moderated.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people actually can excuse domestic violence.

What century are we living in?

Claudine Cassar

Jul 15th 2009, 15:13

@ Theodore Hahn
"I provoked him and he abused of me", "I drove him mad and he stabbed me"

Are you somehow implying that there are circumstances when a man is justified to abuse or stab his wife? If yes, could you please clarify exactly what these circumstances may be?

For example, if I forget to put sugar in my husband's tea - would it be reasonable for him to punch me in the face? Or would that be too much - perhaps a couple of slaps will do?

If I burn the roast - would it be acceptable for my dear hubby to stab me with a carving knife?

If I have an affair - would he be justified to throw me over a cliff?

Tell me Theodore, it is very important for me to know. You see, I am a normal human woman, and there are times when I am sure that I make my husband angry. I would just like to know what retribution I should be expecting in return. Just to be prepared.

Theodore Hahn

Jul 15th 2009, 14:20

@ Moira Health
I don't think in situations as the ones you are questioning it's much a matter of being "too good to get caught". I understand you meant it as a joke, but in my opinion I believe it's more a situation where in (an unfortunately occasionally retrograde) society, man is often a woman's scapegoat. It is never "I provoked him and he abused of me", it's "he abused me"; it's never "I drove him mad and he stabbed me" it's "he stabbed me". I'm not saying that abuse doesn't exist, I'm simply stating that we shouldn't use two different measures

R. Azzopardi

Jul 15th 2009, 13:37

@Gemma Vella

Guns and knives do not kill people. PEOPLE kill people.

Eddie Attard

Jul 15th 2009, 12:10

@ Moira Heath

Since 1800 five women were accused of killing their husband. One acted in self -defence and was acquitted. Another woman was accused as an accomplice in her husband's murder and was also acquitted. Only one received a life sentence.

gemma vella

Jul 15th 2009, 11:50

Ban all husbands,knives and guns and more women will be alive

Corinne Vella

Jul 15th 2009, 11:42

Tonna J: "Why not speak about how marriage can be strengthened?" Because not all marriages are made in heaven. Some are made in hell and the sooner the victim gets out, the better.

Ms P M Graham

Jul 15th 2009, 11:42

Tonna J.
[Quote] ANOTHER EXCUSE FOR PRO-DIVORCE PUSHERS.

Why not speak about how marriage could be strengthened?? [end quote]

Why don't you tell us?

Why don't you tell the families of these dead women how their daughters, sisters, mothers "marriage could" have been "strengthened".

Ms P M Graham

Jul 15th 2009, 11:35

Women have to be encouraged to report all instances of domestic violence and threats of violence and those reports have to be taken seriously.

Any reports have to be taken even more seriously when women then turn up a few days later to withdraw the charges because you can bet your bottom dollar they have been coerced into doing so.
Domestic Violence does exist in Malta and no amount of turning a blind eye and quoting the Church rules or God's rules is going to save these women from a living hell.

When the Church speaks out on Divorce do they ever consider these souls who daily, are attempting to keep their family together by accepting that marriage is "until death do us part" and for some, it is?

Divorce, in itself will not protect these women because few will be brave enough (and who can blame them) to even utter the words, I've had enough, I'm leaving and I am taking the children with me. They need the promise of protection and I don't believe there are nearly enough facilities available to victims of Domestic Violence that are not already running at capacity.

Tonna J.

Jul 15th 2009, 11:29

ANOTHER EXCUSE FOR PRO-DIVORCE PUSHERS.

Why not speak about how marriage could be strengthened??

ingrid stafrace

Jul 15th 2009, 10:31

Maybe the divorce laws need to be reformed so that couples can have a legalized outlet from a sick marriage instead of being legally pressured to stay together.

There is nothing 'passionate' about killing another. Its is a result of gross unhappiness, frustration and love gone wrong. Using such words as 'passion' to describe such unbridled violence is excusing it in some way.

One could use the word 'passionate' when describing the emotion the bouncer in Paceville had when he murdered the black man, but one doesn't because that would be clearly excusing an act of unacceptable violence...

So why is that term still used to describe acts where men (generally) murder their wives or their estranged wives' lovers.

When will Malta stop fetishizing violence.

D Vella

Jul 15th 2009, 10:20

Another good reason for divorce to be available in Malta surely. These murders happen and are built up from from years of ill feeling and frustration in an unhappy marriage with no way out. It's not an excuse of course, but a viable reason..

R. Azzopardi

Jul 15th 2009, 10:00

@Moira Heath

There certainly are statistics. Eddie Attard's book Delitti f'Malta gives an in-depth account of each and every murder since 1800.

Moira Heath

Jul 15th 2009, 09:05

Are there any statistics about wives who killed their husbands, or are we too good to get caught? *evil laugh*