Oh my God! It's back to Vittoriosa again. It looks like there is an infinite choice of wine bars and cafes here, so I probably should book myself an apartment over here and do them all in a span of a week. At least, I will save myself driving to and fro!
I am at TATE café/bar (without Sharon) situated on the Vittoriosa waterfront, and waiting for my celebrity guest of the week, who is swiftly walking across the marina in my direction. He is one of those characters who has been able to shape his destiny successfully, and the cheeky smile, naughty eyes, and casual Riviera elegance come as an added bonus.
Jean Claude Micallef - presenter/producer (and God-knows-what-else) sports a trendy three-day beard (well, five days is more like it) and looks hip in a faded brown sporty jacket and matching trousers that could have been bought in Milan. The bright orange tie, and burnt orange cardigan are a sign of the "new cool", or else he must be the walking advertisement for a local mobile company.
"It's my favourite colour," he points out with supreme self confidence.
We squeeze into a corner table as most of the outside seats are occupied by excited tourists, and I allow myself to unwind, and study what TATE has to offer.
On first glimpse TATE is neither flashy nor grandstanding. It's got several tables outside overlooking the marina, and another four tables just before you walk into the inside area. A U-shaped bar, almost as long as Stephanie Spiteri's legs, stretches across the centre of the room, which during day-time, is rather badly lit. However, all patrons have chosen to sit outside to bask in some hazy sunshine. It's not a nice day, and very windy, yet the tourists are getting their natural highs anyway.
The whole place is put together nicely, with sleek modern furniture but without following any luxury formulas that threaten to turn it into something frightfully formal.
"Here are your menus!" It's Miss TATE, our waitress for the day, who seems to be very fond of black. The eyes, the hair, the blouse, and the amazingly tighter-than-tight jeans have exactly the same shade (Oh, did I mention the eye-liner?). Her white smile looks so much whiter.
"Would you kiss a beautiful girl with yellow teeth, or an ugly one with white teeth?" I ask Jean Claude, as we look at the menus. He tells me he surely prefers to kiss the one with white teeth and ugly face. Our waitress is lucky, she has got them white, and she has got a cute face, besides being well mannered.
We chat till our jaw hurts, during which time we unravel some tasty gossip from the cut-throat world of television. And when I say it is "tasty" ... I mean it! I also learn that if my guest had a choice between losing his mind, his looks, or religion, he would lose his religion as he does not belong to any. He has an inborn charisma, an inquisitive mind, with a creative overflow and a cornucopia of thoughts that rest on the edge of philosophy. Finally, I point out we should get the menu thing over and done with, so I ask him to choose the wine.
While he goes through the wine menu, I'll tell you about TATE's different menus.
You will get three in all. One boasts an assortment of 6 platters at 11.95 which have interesting names like Beirut Express and Chinatown or Geisha (I think they should consider a Midnight Express platter). The 2nd menu has a strong variety of starters (10), Salads (8), pasta (10), and some other snacks which all seem to tempt the taste buds. Miss TATE tempts us further with the specials in a cute battery-operated way, and we both fall victim to the Ravioli filled with asparagus and artichokes.
The wine list is pretty okay, and there are some interesting wines you should check out. Jean Claude (referred to as JC hereafter) is good at choosing his wines just as good as choosing his girlfriends (I would think....). He opts for a Gewürztraminer - Philippe Drechler priced at 20.85.
"You have a VIP ticket to watch Ira Losco and Robbie Williams on the same day. Who would you dump?" I'm curious.
"There is no way I will miss out on Robbie Williams," he says immediately. "Sorry Ira!"
I'm loving this - He does not beat around the bush, though he can be amazingly diplomatic at the same time. He admits that he would not have dumped Ira for Britney.
I have a far more interesting question lined up.....
A British waiter comes over to our table, balancing himself on long legs, and so mega excited he can't get to pronounce the Gewürztraminer word. He opens the wine and JC gets me to try it out. I think it's good. It's spicy and aromatic with a palate that is soft and medium bodied. The flavours are somewhere between moderate and intense, and linger into a slightly sweet finish which I like.
The food rolls in a few seconds later - Asparagus ravioli in a creamy sauce, and Artichoke filled ravioli in a red sauce. Now, usually I am not too fond of red sauce, but believe me... these raviolis are delicious.
We are having a very interesting conversation over lunch, so interesting that I hold my call of nature until I really can't wait any longer. I quickly go to the gents and "oh my God!" this is something. Where shall I start? It's kind of avant garde with a marble cone-like wash basin and a spacey toilet. The walls are painted in a crushed cranberry colour, and the glass door to the toilet looks like a cow has brushed past it and left its skin there. It just blows you away...not in a positive way. I think it is just too much.
"I've got another question for you," I tell JC on my return, as we both wash the incredibly tasty ravioli down with the Gewürztraminer. "You've got a glossy portrait of Joseph Chetcuti and Xandru Grech pinned to your wall. You feel like playing a game of darts on one of the photos - whose photo would you pick as your dart board?"
JC strikes a relaxed posture, and before answering my question nods to three men who walk past our table in Victorian grandeur. "Xandru, cause I know him and he won't get offended." He flashes a smile that reminds one of Beckham after a score, obviously happy with his answer.
The afternoon rolls on, and I hear a little bit about his successful Shuffle programme and his breakfast show amongst other things. Then there is a phone call from a friend of his and he tells him he is with Mr Private Eye right now, and therefore can't be long. The friend is a big fan of the Private Eye page (naqra reklam hux!) and that feels as good as the artichoke ravioli!
TATE is a pretty cool place, and it is bound to be swinging, especially during these hot summer days and nights. The location is one of its strongest assets, and the casual atmosphere allows you to relax. One thing to remember is that it is also open during lunchtime. The food is good, and they have improved considerably on their service since my last visit. We pay 44.35 Euro for the wine and the ravioli. The cloakroom with the cow-skin doors is worth a visit. Believe me.
RATING: 1 - 7
Wine - ***** Ambience ****
Food - ****** Service *****