Youths believe in marriage for life

Gerry Cowie

Jul 2nd 2009, 19:39

Ramon Casha - you automatically oppose anything with any Church connection. As I said below if the Church introduced divorce you would find fault with it merely because it was the Church doing it! How about simply coming out and supporting marriage and encouraging it to last instead of opposing the ideals of these children merely based upon their beliefs. Surely everybody would aim for a marriage that lasts - even though it is clear that not all do in fact last. Forget the religious element and just look at marriage and admit that if would be nice if all marriages were to last and that to seek a lasting marriage is a good thing. It is not being blind to the fact that marriages fail to give marriage some support. Take of your own blinkers and remove your anti-religious stance and see clearly that some things are worth supporting, Church or no Church! You will note that this is not a response for or against divorce etc - just an encouragement to people of your point of view to support things that are worth supporting!

Ramon Casha

Jul 2nd 2009, 06:40

KDŻ is the church's umbrella organisation for Catholic youth organisations. Their members would therefore not be an average cross-section of society, but a selected group of young people who are among the most devoted followers. Not only that but the study, organised as it was by KDŻ, could be worded in such a way as to favour a result that reflects the church's views on the matter.

The statement "young people in Malta believed that marriage was for life" is therefore incorrect. It should read "young people who are members of church youth organisations, when responding to questions selected by the church, were interpreted by the church as believing that marriage is for life".

What if the question were put to ALL young people in Malta, and the words were: "In the case of an irretrievably broken marriage, should the couple be forced to stay legally married or should they have a second chance"?

DR EMMY BEZZINA, LL.D.,B.A.,

Jul 1st 2009, 23:39

This Report is Myopic. Its originators are manipulated creatures who know not or pretend not to be aware of the realities of Life.Much effort is being made even by the political authorities that be to hide the gravity of the situation effecting marriages made in Malta: the obligatory Mediation very often is utilized as a means to halt back as much as possible couples resorting to contentious proceedings so that statistics appear low and belie the otherwise obvious.Some Mediation's start over and over again, at times taking a very long period of useless sessions.Court Decrees are on occasions issued when there is neither Mediation nor Contentious Proceedings ongoing. This is because with the deepest of respect to one and all the competent authorities are not taking The Family Court seriously:Families in these dire straits need assistance not to have their lives frozen,but to be able to move forward,a right which our hypocritical State is not allowing,much less providing.This Document mentions nothing about these realities but is part of an ongoing strategy by the enemies of the People`s Freedom to hoodwink the idiots and put pressure on the manipulated,otherwise totally unconvincing!

S Vella

Jul 1st 2009, 21:40

Believing in marriage is one thing but dealing with a broken marriage is totally different! We have to deal with one and all, we all have a right for living peacefully! Broken marriages exist and yes not all broken relationships can be repaired. Does one's life have to end in separation after the pains of a fiery marriage? Do we have to beg and pay for an annulment for a much deserved second chance in life.... Divorce should be there for the people who need it..

edwin formosa

Jul 1st 2009, 21:02

Suggett bhal dan jikxef hafna maskri.
"a selective perhaps biased few?" ghax hawn min ma jemminx jew ma jixtieqx li z-zghazagh maltin ikomplu jghozzu l-valuri tal-familja.
" the true democracy which the Church and the socialist(??) PN can never allow". ghax dawn ghandhom principji waqt li ohrajn ghandhom konvenjenza. + referendum hu leqreb lejn demokrazija. U jekk " Annulment is a farce, " allura divorzju hu tragedja ghax jixpruna t-tfarrik tal-familji.
"It might be utopic but unattainable" naturalment. Anzi propjament kollox hu impossibli jekk m'hux bl- ghajnuna t'Alla

" Everyone believes that marriage is for life " !!! Anki dawk li lesti bid-divorzju fil-komma??
U hawn dawk li ma jahmlux il-familja tradizzjonali Maltija maghquda ( li ghaddiet hi ukoll min dawn id-diffikultajiet li huma qed tant jenfatizzaw , qiesu qatt ma kellna bhalhom.) Is-soluzzjoni ta dawn hi: inwarrbu l'Alla u l-ligijiet tieghu ( u anki l-ligijiet tan-natura !!) biex nghamlu li rridu u niftahru kemm ahna liberi, progressivi, moderni...

Gerrry Coweie

Jul 1st 2009, 20:01

Let us not knock the young who believe in such high ideals!
Let us encourage them, as they go forward, to continue to work towards permanent marriages.
Forget the religious connection for a moment which is clouding some responses here.
It would be an insult to all those marriages which have indeed survived the test of time to suggest that the young people here have their heads in the clouds. Happily a vast number of marriages are successful.
Ideally we should all at least support marriage and the family.

The bitter and sarcastic responses of those who have some strange agenda of their own here are very sad. They can hardly throw stones at the arguments put up by the church if they are not first of all prepared to come out and support marriage to begin with.

The reality is that some relationships do break down irretrievably, but that doesn't mean that people should oppose encouraging their survival and attempts to heal some of the problems leading to breakdown.

People have such a hang-up about the Church's role in all of this that even if the Church introduced divorce they would oppose it merely because of the Church's involvement!

Andrew Cauchi

Jul 1st 2009, 19:28

Iz-zwieg mhux cajta!! Hija sejha li tghixa b'hafna mhabba.....u hafna pacenzja....ghaliex le?
You may believe the moon is made of swiss cheese we all know its not ....one thing I DO BELIEVE that in our marriage, by the grace of God, the stronger the wind blows, the deeper the root grows. The vows we gave on the faithful day we live them by the help of Jesus who we keep in the center of our family.....this is not just a religion, its our way of life......I cannot ram Jesus down people's throat but unless we recognise the need of having Jesus in the center of our families we will fail!!.....19 years married and counting . - Thank God!!

K. Pullicino

Jul 1st 2009, 18:51

"And how exactly do you propose to eliminate "greed and the lack of compassion between people"?"

Very simple... we teach the true values and meaning of love. You can see from some of the comments here that marriage for many means absolutely nothing.

For me, I don't care whether someone is married or not, cohabitating or not because in the end, what is important is that the two people love each other and true love is eternal.

What I fear is that divorce will just cause even more and more pain.

C.Sammut

Jul 1st 2009, 18:38

Now which youth would go into marriage knowing that something might fail in the future? Surely this document should be drawn up by those having passed through failed marriages? Mr Vincent Magro your argument on who will use divorce can also hold true for who will also use marriage. In the folly of youth many might make the mistake of getting married for material, aesthetic and other such gains.
I am a firm believer in the healthy social aspect of strong families. But I tend to believe in offering people the alternative of trying to make things right. It is healthier for both partners and children.

vincent magro

Jul 1st 2009, 18:09

Iz-zwieg hu xi haga serja mhux biss fih innifsu,imma wkoll ghall-effetti li jgib fuq is-socjeta, Issa jekk irridu socjeta b'sahhita, rridu naraw jekk id-divorzju isahhahx is-socjeta jew jgherrijha.
L-argument li d-divorzju jinsab kwazi kullimkien fid-dinja minnbarra f'Malta, m'huwiex il-kriterju li ghandna nimxu fuqu jekk indahluhx f'Malta jew le, ghax bl-istess kriterju nistghu naccetaw l-abort li wkoll qieghed fil-bicca l-kbira tal pajjizi fid-dinja.
Il-mistoqsija li rridu naghmlu hi jekk fejn dahal id-divorzju issahhux il-familji jew tkissru aktar, Il-KDZ fid-dokument taghhom m'humiex jirraprezentaw biss liz-zaghzagh izda wkoll lil kategoriji ohra,
Meta xi xhur ilu ktibt dwar das-sugget kien hemm min wegibni "int x'taf fuq il-problemi tas-separati u xwigijiet imkissra?" Fil-verita jien separat u bhalissa ghaddej min process ta annullament u nifhem is-sitwazzjonijiet li jhabbtu wicchom maghhom dawn il-persuni, izda jien naf li jekk jidhol id-divorzju mhux se juzawh biss dawk li z-zwieg taghhom ma rrnexxiex li jista jkun ta gid ghalijhom u jista ma jkunx, izda ohrajn li z-zwieg taghhom hu tajjeb, u bil mentalita divorzista jpoggu fil-periklu dak li kellhom fis-sod,apparti li dawk li se jidhlu ghaz-zwieg diga diga jkollhom l-idea li z-zwieg mhux ghall-dejjem bil-periklu li ma jinvestux bizzejjed fih u jiehduh bhala fazi fil-hajja li jistaw ibiddlu meta jridu

adrian aquilina

Jul 1st 2009, 18:03

mr pullicino sometimes people fall out of love.everyone gets married thinking it is for life.people change as they get older and sometimes become incompatible..mostly religion itself causes marriages that breakdown with getting married young,not living together first and planting the thought that couples should get married..the non religious have fewer divorces..seems they are brainwashing young kids to think marriage is the only acceptable partnership.its not.living together is as valid and generally lasts longer..in the end wether married,living together or divorced as an adult it is their choice not anyone elses and unless you believe in a religion it must have no influence on desicions..the laws of a country should have no interferance from any religion...

Charles Sammut

Jul 1st 2009, 17:49

@ K Pullicino

And how exactly do you propose to eliminate "greed and the lack of compassion between people"?

It might be utopic but unattainable. Does that make it logical?

Let me give another example. Should we stop giving out free syringes to drug addicts because, applying your logic, that encourages drug use. Or should contraception be banned because it encourages extramarital sex.

This country is unfortunately plagued with politicians and religious leaders who have lost all contact with the people.They live in their ivory towers oblivious to what happens in the gutters.

Victor Laiviera

Jul 1st 2009, 17:40

"compiled by a number of youth organisations" - which youth organisations?

Why the reticence?

Charles Grixti

Jul 1st 2009, 17:38

And I believe that the moon is made of Swiss cheese.

But that does not make it so.

Everyone who gets married believes that they are getting married for life. However, in practice, things do not always turn out the way we plan them. It that was not true, then we would not have hundreds of broken marriages in Malta - divorce is not the issue here, although it is the best solution to dissolve a broken marriage and give the parties a second chance at a happy marriage. Anyone who says otherwise is lacking in Christian charity.

K. Pullicino

Jul 1st 2009, 17:32

No, Mr. Sammut. According to me greed and the lack of compassion between people is what is causing failed marriages. We should find ways to fix that not encourage it more.

Tell me whose logic is flawed now.

Charles Sammut

Jul 1st 2009, 16:31

@ K. Pullicino

So according to you, if we don't have divorce, marriages do not fail. Very logical. You are the sort of person who would not carry a spare wheel so you do not get a puncture.

What is happening now is that many couples do not bother to get married because if they do, and then find out they are incompatible, there will be no way out. Annulment is a farce, especially when there are children involved. How can you declare that the marriage did not exist? Oh yes, it was the milkman!

The situation gets even more ridiculous. If a couple chooses to get a civil marriage only, all they can do is get separated and never re-marry legally!

Franco Farrugia

Jul 1st 2009, 16:26

'young people in Malta believed that marriage was for life. '
Ehmmm... very realistic, I am sure!
Well then, there should be no problem, should there? Just legislate divorce for those who demand it - there's no danger for future generations.
But who are we expected to fool?

Charles Sammut

Jul 1st 2009, 16:06

The people interviewed were obviously single youths. Everyone believes that marriage is for life until you tie the knot and later, in some cases hit the rocks. That perception changes very fast after that.

"According to the report, young people believed in both civil and church marriage." And they expect to be taken seriously. More and more couples are choosing not to get married at all, never mind having a church wedding. Not only that, but in some areas, 30% of babies are born to unwed couples.

This 'report' is not worth the paper it's written on.

Adriano Spiteri

Jul 1st 2009, 15:42

I for one am not ready to let others dictate my personal freedom. This is not a national issue.

When divorce is illegal - only one group of people benefit (to a certain extent). They are happy dictating for they believe the majority dictates.

When divorce is legal everyone benefits because everyone is free to choose for himself. That is the true democracy which the Church and the socialist PN can never allow.

K. Pullicino

Jul 1st 2009, 15:37

Now enter the commentators who will tell us how failing marriages are caused by the lack of divorce in Malta which makes total logical sense.

C Darmanin

Jul 1st 2009, 15:35

What do you expect from KDŻ!!

Adrian Cardona

Jul 1st 2009, 15:26

very realistic and deeply investigated document i'm sure....

D Vella

Jul 1st 2009, 15:26

Depends how you put the questions. Are the youths questioned representative of youth as a whole, or was it a selective perhaps biased few?