Chiaroscuro, at 44 Strait Street, Valletta lives up to its name! A fabulous glow of chiaro lights up the upper level, where you will find a bistro at the far end of this palatial house, and a cosy cafeteria to the right hand side. It is a quiet haven of convention, reserve and tradition put together in discreet Edwardian-style charm, with a gigantic mirror in the cafeteria and one of the most beautiful bookcases I have ever seen.
Downstairs, you'll find the scuro! The setting suddenly shifts to an Addams Family wonderland. A winding staircase leads to a dimly lit wine bar and a gothic-like cellar they refer to as the "club area". I get the feeling I have just stepped into the Rocky Horror Picture Show and the feeling is rather exciting. It looks to me like a haunted house where anything could happen at any given minute! If I had a choice though, I'd prefer the upper level.
My guest, MEP Simon Busuttil, is on time and greets me with a genuine smile that gives me the impression he is constantly beaming through chapters of happiness. He looks bright, brisk, and ready to start a new day with a casual kind of chic... only he is ending his day. He confesses that he has had an extremely busy day, and is looking forward to unwinding. (I met him before the elections, at which he was elected on the first count.)I thank him for finding the time to meet up. Had I been him, I would have just grabbed a bar of chocolate and succumbed to bed.
The five women sitting close to us are momentarily quiet. They check him out and then go back to their conversation.
It is the first time I have met Simon, and immediately I feel very comfortable in his presence. After the first half hour of chit chat I feel like I have known him for ages. He comes across as very authentic, charming and reliable. Unlike some people, who like to flaunt their intellectual snobbery, he is a man of few words... but whatever he says makes a lot of sense.
"Ready to order?" It's the scuro waiter who has emerged to take our order. This is his second attempt of the evening.
We both tell him that we have not looked at our menus yet, so we quickly browse through the menus and order, to make Signor Scuro happy.
The food and wine menus at Chiaroscuro are basically two plastic cards. I can't really say they are grand but somehow they still manage to offer a pleasant selection. They offer a choice of two Tortilla wraps, four pasta dishes, a risotto, four salads, and a total of five platters (for two people) - the cheapest priced at €9, and the most expensive priced €13.75. Simon chooses the Textures of Malta platter and without any hesitation picks out the Montepulciano D'Abruzzo Masciorelli from the wine list. He assures me it's a very good wine, and I have absolutely no doubt he is right. He confesses he prefers reds to whites.
I see this at the right moment to pop my first question. "Tell me something you have never told anybody..." I say impishly, taking him by surprise.
He ponders my question for some time and then tells me that something only his family knows is that he has a fear of hard-boiled eggs.
"Are you serious?" I'm not sure if he is joking, but he assures me it is very true.
We discuss food for some time, and our eating habits, after which I bluntly ask him who he thinks is probably the best cook out of these three ladies: Giovanna Debono,Kate Gonzi and Mary Fenech Adami.
"I have a feeling it could be Mary," he says with a smile. Somehow, for a reason unbeknown to me, I tend to agree.
Signor Scuro reappears with the Maltese platter which consists of black and green olives, diced Maltese sausage, a bowl of bigilla complete with galletti and Maltese bread, some goats cheese and four vine leaves. I think the vine leaves are more Greek than Maltese, but maybe this is the chef's idea of giving the platter some kind of twist.
To contrast this, the wine ceremony resembles a ballet performance. It is executed with supreme elegance, and better than that... Simon's choice turns out to be a smashing one. I totally love this wine and highly recommend it to all red wine lovers.
We toast to a sparkling future, and dig into the dip and the other food items.
"What are your priorities in life, Simon?" I ask him between some ġbejniet and vine leaves.
"My family at number one and work at number two and three!" he says assertively.
So, we get into some family-talk and I find out he is married to Nadia, and they have two sons - Zachary and Gregory whom he adores. He tells me he has always hoped for a girl. I reply that - Nadia permitting - it is never too late!
We drink more wine because the Montepulciano D'Abruzzo Masciarelli (€15.90) is seriously addictive. It is a clear wine - ruby red in colour - with an intense but fine bouquet. The red berries, cherries and violets, and that delightful hint of tobacco give this wine a lot of flavour.
Back to Simon. Naughty questions coming up! "You have been elected Hunk Of The Year by an international women's magazine. They need you to pose in skimpy boxer shorts for the front cover and nothing else. Do you accept?"
He tells me that he would be too embarrassed to do it.
The next question is more intimate. "Who would you share a jacuzzi and a glass of champagne with - Angela Merkel or Michelle Obama?"
His face lights up with a boyish smile and he chooses the jacuzzi experience with Mrs Obama. Watch out Barack!
Not only is this man highly polished and unbelievably down-to-earth, but he is also good fun. I'm quite impressed with the smoothness of his voice which has a very calming effect, and his suave looks could easily make him an ideal candidate for a presidential election. I can somehow compare him to a high performance Porsche. His credentials are impeccable...
His mind is a digital speedometer with full analog instrumentation. At 40, he comes with totally new design and engineering, meeting multi-purpose demands.
I'm done with my apolitical questions and now I have a last one which is slightly tricky. I want to know which kind of sharks he mostly fears - those at sea, or those on land... and why?
"I fear both equally," he admits. "Though there are probably more sharks on land than at sea."
I nod in agreement, and excuse myself for... you all know what by now! The toilets are white and clinical and in a contest would probably be as popular as pork at a kosher butcher. But they are clean and well kept, which is very important.
We elect to leave once I am back and so I ask Signor Scuro for the tab and take one last glance at our neighbouring couple - who are also leaving the premises huddled in a loving embrace.
We pay €28.90 in total. Chiaroscuro is open every day, but the wine bar is only open on Fridays and Saturdays.
Simon Busuttil turns out to be chiaro... and absolutely not scuro!
privateeye@timesofmalta.com