Claudia Calleja
Victim of an online stalker
A 13-year-old girl e-mailed naked photos of herself to a man who threatened to disclose their online relationship to her father.
Helen* fell victim to internet abuse because her parents knew and trusted the man, in his early 20s, who was at the other end of the chat room.
"He was my colleague... I trusted him blindly and knew him to be a religious man," her father recalls with a tone of regret.
Helen and her parents sought help during this traumatic experience through an EU-funded support service that operated through the government's social agency Appoġġ.
However, a year ago, the service, through which 294 illegal websites were reported, expired and the support service is now being maintained by volunteers.
Catherine Fleri Soler, a service manager at Appoġġ, is calling on the government, or the private sector, to help rekindle the service by providing the finances to help operate it efficiently.
Almost three years after the incident came to their attention, Helen's parents are still torn by mixed feelings of guilt and anger as they were always aware that the internet may not be a safe place for children.
"We had taken all the necessary precautions and set up the computer in the kitchen to keep an eye on her," her father explains.
"She started experimenting with the internet and talking to various people... Then she started chatting to a colleague of mine. We trusted him so we didn't think much of it."
Initially, the colleague asked Helen for photos in exchange for songs and the teenager, flattered by the attention of a young man, sent them to him. But, as time passed, he was not satisfied with the photos she was sending. He wanted naked pictures of her and, when she refused, he threatened to disclose their flirtatious online relationship to her father.
The teenage gave in and he kept demanding more photos. He even sent her a photo of himself, from the neck down, naked.
Her parents noticed something was wrong. Helen became moody and started doing badly at school. Then, one day, she told a friend what had happened and the friend suggested she informs her parents.
"When she told us, we were shattered. I was hurt and angry at him (the colleague) and wanted to go to his house and punch him in the face," the father recalls with a trembling voice.
Instead, he dialled Appoġġ's helpline, 179, and was told to remain calm and handle the matter through legal channels. The family filed a police report but eventually withdrew it as they decided to forgive the man who, they learnt, had mental health problems.
They later learnt that the man, who the father still sees occasionally at work, had pending court cases in connection with possession of pornographic material.
"Thank God he never touched her," Helen's father says, as he urges parents not to trust children on the internet even with people they might trust.
At the time, when Helen's father contacted Appoġġ, there was an ongoing internet child abuse support service. The service started in July 2006 and expired in February last year. It included a hotline that fell within Appoġġ's already existing Supportline 179 and a link on the agency's website (www.appogg.gov.mt) where cases of internet child abuse could be reported. The funds covered all the costs and the salary of three full-timers.
Since then, the service has been maintained by a few volunteers at Appoġġ who try to cope with this and other pressing work.
"Here at Appoġġ we still monitor the e-mails but we do so on a voluntary basis and don't have the time or resources to give the service the attention it deserves," explains Ms Fleri Soler.
She headed an advisory board, set up through the EU project, that was made up of stakeholders in children's welfare and included representatives of the Children's Commissioner office, the police and parents' associations. Although the service expired, the board members still meet to try and keep it alive.
During the two years in which the EU-funded service was running, 294 illegal websites were reported. Of these, 261 reports were on indecent material involving children and nine dealt with other types of child abuse. A total of 89 reports were transmitted to the police.
The site still receives an average of one report a day.
Ms Fleri Soler is concerned as Appoġġ does not have the manpower to give undivided attention to these e-mails and to raise the necessary awareness about the service. She fears the incidence rate is higher than reported.
"We don't want to alarm people but it's too easy to be abused over the internet. It is affecting all children because nowadays they are all exposed to the internet," she says.
She is echoing the message of the Children's Commissioner who last month said this important service should not have to depend on EU funding.
*Name has been changed to protect the family's identity.
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AD Brincat
Mar 22nd 2009, 18:03
Jien b'ħilti kollha qed nipprova nibqa' nemmen li pajjiżi huwa differenti mill-bqija tad-dinja.
U jien ħa nagħmel dak kollhu li bniedem jista' jagħmel waħdu sabiex dawk il-valuri speċjali jibqgħu kif inhuma.
Illum qisha moda komuni fost iż-żgħazagħ li wieħed jieħu ritratti tiegħu għarwien u jibgħathom online biex jarawhom il-'contacts' (li qatt ma tkun taf b'ċertezza min huma) jew (bħal f'inkjesta li raw miljuni ta' nies fuq it-TV taljana) li wieħed jiltaqgħa ma' nies li lanqas biss jaf min huma bil-webcam. Kif tista' tfajla ta' 13 tkun taf bil-perikli li hemm fuq l-Internet? Dik, miskina, m'għandha l-ebda tort. Ta' 13-il sena, dik għandha id-dritt għall-inġenwità tagħha, imma sa ċertu punt.
Ejja ngħiduha, ħafna mill-ġenituri Maltin jaħdmu wisq u dawk ta' ċertu età (35~ 'il fuq) jafu ftit dwar programmi (bħal MSN, Skype, eċċ) u dwar websites (bħal Facebook, Friendster, eċċ) li jeżistu b'numru kbir fuq l-Internet.
Ġewwa Malta titqassam wisq ftit informazzjoni dwar l-Internet. Fuq it-TV u ġewwa il-'letterbox' nara u naqra ftit, (anzi, rarament) avviżi tas-sigurtà dwar l-Internet. Dan, iżda, għandu jsir iżjed spiss, ikun xi jkun il-prezz ta' din l-inizjattiva.
Missier it-tifla ħaseb qabel ma rreaġixxa. Nikkumplimenta ruħi miegħu. Mhux kulħadd kien ikun kapaċi jżomm il-kalma f'sitwazzjoni bħal dik.
Joseph Schembri
Mar 20th 2009, 21:29
As I understand it people employed in such agencies can only justify the existence of their job and their salary if there are 'cases' to investigate. I am not saying this off the cuff but I know of groups in other countries trying to justify their existence by encouraging children to report 'crimes' and then going on to make a big show of it. Some research shows that the fuss that is created around such incidents by these 'help groups' causes more harm to children than the so called abuse itself.
I am sure that the government, faced as it is with the spectre of unemployment, would not begrudge three jobs to an agency that attracts such sympathy from the (unthinking, but voting) masses. Therefore my conclusion is that the employer had compelling evidence that showed that these jobs and salaries were unjustified. It is funny that when thousands of workers at the shipyards were laid off many people here cheered but now tears are being shed for the loss of three salaries. BTW the job is still being done by these people who lost their salaries.. or so they say.
C Falzon
Mar 20th 2009, 19:15
@Joseph Schembri The way I understood it its not a matter of simply receiving one email a day but of receiving an average of one report a day. It is not reading the email that takes time or responding to it. I would guess that many (or perhaps even most) of those 'reports' received by email result in cases being opened and investigated. What takes time and resousrces is investigating the case and each such investigation might need several days or even weeks to investigate. Its not how many emails one receives but what action that email then requires. An email is just a message. An email might require just a two minute reply or it might result in weeks or even years of work, and of course anything between.
Joseph Schembri
Mar 20th 2009, 18:18
One point about this report strikes me as odd. There were three full time paid people monitoring problems relating to children and the internet. This report also states that they receive an average of one email a day. The report continues that they continue to monitor these emails on a voluntary basis. Does this mean that they do it in their free time from home? If yes they should be lauded but if it is just another extra email a day during a normal working day then no wonder the financial support was withdrawn.
I get dozens of emails which need to be answered and some followed up thoroughly. Sometimes I do this from home in my 'free time' too. I do not ask for THREE full timers to look after ONE extra email per day!
It does not matter what the job in question is, if one does not need to employ so many people to do it, it would be just another waste of money. Let us not be blinded by emotional arguments that are illogical.
Victor Buhagiar
Mar 20th 2009, 17:29
This is the type of education we should give our children: basics on behaviour. That a child was ready to pose naked in front of a camera is appalling. That she had little idea what it meant to give them to third persons is even worse. Education is not how many passes we get but a solid upbringing that leads to a mature life.
Joseph Attard
Mar 20th 2009, 14:39
"The family filed a police report but eventually withdrew it as they decided to forgive the man who, they learnt, had mental health problems."
Why don't victims realise that by not reporting and allow the police to ACT against these people they are simply putting other innocent victims at risk? These people never change, and this person in particular will be roaming online again in the very near future!
Kathy Elliot
Mar 20th 2009, 08:45
I'm so sorry for this girl and her family. It must have been such a shock and bad experience! It's good that she finally managed the pluck up the courage to speak to her parents. Perhaps the best solution for this kind of situation is to always assure one's children that you'll be there for them, even when they're in trouble. Maybe then children will go to parents sooner, even when they're teenagers. All my well wishes to this family!
peter azzopardi
Mar 20th 2009, 08:33
So, we have money for all kinds of trivial things
but not for something as serious as this, SHAME!!!!!!!
Lawrence Micallef
Mar 19th 2009, 13:19
Very sad story. I appeal to all parents to read this story aloud to their young children, and to urge the whole family to reflect and to draw out learning points. Mr Bartolo rightly points out that the only way is education, and this article can serve as a tool in the hands of parents in pursuance of such education.
There are learning points for us parents as well.
Stanley Fenech
Mar 18th 2009, 13:40
@edward bartolo
agreed, but preparation needs to be done in conjunction with continuos monitoring.
F J Brincat
Mar 18th 2009, 12:37
What exactly are the laws with regards to child pornography? What are the actual definitions?
Here we have a case of a person causing psychological trauma to a child – directly and indirectly (what did he do with the pictures? Did he store them/keep them to himself or distribute them?).
If this person has mental health problems, why is he still around and not locked in a mental institute?
Time and time again we see on foreign news how certain types of people with or without mental health problems graduated from indecent acts against children to more violent crimes. Voluntarily or otherwise they are bound to harm someone else. Sometimes they cannot stop themselves.
We cannot hope that Malta it is different than other countries.
Religious? Hallini! Salt qoqbra mbajda hawn f’dal pajjiz!
edward bartolo
Mar 18th 2009, 09:56
Fear of the Internet will not protect our children. The only way is Education. In my opinion, children should be prepared for adolescence.