IVF, cohabiting families and marriage

This letter is not intended to discriminate against cohabiting couples in favour of those who chose to marry. It is meant to shed some light on what research says about cohabitation.

I present a case which suggests that we ought to be cautious not to get carried away emotionally with our opinions when considering legally opening up infertility treatment to non-married couples.

In our trust to be progressive, we run the real risk of missing simple facts that have to be considered circumspectly when contemplating a new law on IVF.

In the USA today, about 2.9 million children under age 18 live with a parent and his/her unmarried partner. About 41 per cent of opposite sex partners living together have children younger than 18 in their homes.

This means that roughly four per cent of US children live in cohabiting "families". (The US Census Bureau Population Survey 3/02; USA Today, September 18, 2003). Over 50 per cent of marriages in the USA today are preceded by cohabitation.

The pollster John Zogby in a recent study in 2005, discovered that "the concept of cohabitation is increasing and reported that 56 per cent of Americans think it is acceptable for an engaged couple to live together prior to marriage". Nearly 60 per cent of teens agree or mostly agree that it is a good idea for an engaged couple to live together before marrying, in order to "find out whether they really get along".

However, research shows that living together prior to marriage increases the chance for divorce later.

Cohabitants report higher levels of alcohol problems than married people; aggression is twice as common among cohabitants; there is greater marital instability and lower marital satisfaction and poorer communication during marriage following cohabitation; depression rates among cohabiting couples are over three times the depression rates among married couples; cohabitants report more frequent disagreements, more fights and violence, and lower levels of fairness in and happiness with their relationships than do married people.

What is more disquieting is that children living with biological parents who are unmarried are 20 times more likely to be abused, and children whose mother is living with a boyfriend are 33 times more likely to be abused.

We recently read the shocking story of a nine year old Brazilian girl who was allegedly abused many times by her mother's boyfriend.

The girl became pregnant and her twins were aborted. In addition, children living in cohabiting households had more behavioral problems and poorer academic scores than children in married households. (FL Eagle Forum Capital Chapter newsletter, by Bridget Maher of the Family Research Council).

The question to legally extend IVF treatment to non-married couples is a serious one. This is not to suggest that non-married couples are a group of child abusing, emotionally and psychologically troubled individuals.

I am stating verifiable facts which our Parliament has to take into consideration when deliberating the coming law.

The state has no control over whether people choose to cohabitate and have children naturally, or whether they decide to enter into a committed married life with children.

It is however quite a different matter altogether when the state essentially encourages a practice that may after all not be in the child's best interest.

Joseph Muscat recently said that when considering this law we should consider today's realities.

These are realities that cannot and must not be ignored.