Children cannot just have 'leftover time' - Archbishop

Dr Francis Saliba

Feb 26th 2009, 17:23

@MelissaBagley

You state that "There are NO SUCH THINGS AS NATURAL ROLES". If so, why did "nature" equip only the female sex with functional mammary glands?

Dr Francis Saliba

Feb 26th 2009, 17:13

@FrancoFarrugia

I do not accept your allegation that the Church forces anyone to marry. The Church, and society in general, holds that procreation is best carried out inside the safety net of a stable marriage in the interest of children who have every right to be certain who both their parents are and also in the interest of society as a whole that should not be burdened with the expense of extra social services for the problem of one parent families. It is a shame that you do not accept that evident fact.

Franco Farrugia

Feb 26th 2009, 08:12

@ Dr Saliba - The Church is to blame insofar as it almost forces young people to get married. It is to blame insofar as it makes everybody believe that ALL are called to a married life. It is to blame because it gives the impression if you are not married (or in religious life), you are not being a good member of society. That is the blame that the Church has, but I doubt very much that people like you would agree with that. Shame.

Melissa Bagley

Feb 25th 2009, 23:07

I find it quite hard to believe that people still go on ranting and raving that women are naturally cut out for family work, and men for the breadwinning activies. So staying at home makes a man less of a man? Does becoming a breadwinner make a woman less so? Utter hogwash - there are NO SUCH THINGS AS NATURAL ROLES. Any educated individual can see that these so-called 'natural roles' are created and maintained by society, and people strive to maintain these in their talk and actions. Pure patriarchal discourse. Praising traditional values to maintain the status quo and make women who opt for something different go on a guilt trip? God given roles? Give us a brrreeeeaaaak!

So just because I am female I am 'cut out' to cook and clean for my family? I was not born with a cook book and dishcloth in my hands. I do it because it needs to be done, end of story, not because of some "God-given role".

Dr Francis Saliba

Feb 25th 2009, 18:47

The Church never advised young people to embark on marriage by life by taking out big loans that they could ill afford and without realizing that they were tying a millstone round their neck for decades. It was not the Church that led young inexprienced married couples into a financial trap obliging them to slave away and to sacrifice a decent married life with their children.

In their mad rush to entice more and more clients, who could not back their loans with suficient collateral, the banking system brought on itself and its unwary clients a catastrophic world wide recession and domino bankruptcies.

Where is the Church's blame for all this?

Tony Borg

Feb 25th 2009, 03:59

In Australia we a a special spray to keep the flies off our faces, I wonder if it works as well to keep the Church's representatives away too. Like our flies they seem to be in everything and in everyone's face. Shu, Shu

Maria Camilleri

Feb 24th 2009, 23:32

Funny, most of the comments assume that its the woman's duty to stay at home, without questioning things like flexitime for BOTH parents (as far as I recall fathers are parents too) or fathers staying at home to look after kids.

My mother worked at times and when she was better paid my father would stay at home with us and when they both worked I stayed with my grandmother. I don't recall my grandmother "suffering".. and till a couple of years ago she was still babysitting and enjoying the company! This is the family unit ... getting to know BOTH parents and grandparents. At other times I was taken care of by a nanny or a play school teacher, increasing social and communication skills.

This is the 21st century, anyone would think we're regressing !

Paul Cardona

Feb 24th 2009, 21:54

Left over time...money to spend???????????

In today's times money is just about enough to make ends meet. Does the Archbishop live in Malta or what???

As for leftover time, why doesn't he set the example by cutting down on the duttrina overdoses

Edward Saguna

Feb 24th 2009, 21:41

Although we may try to come up with excuses - the archbishop has here voiced a fact that all who have the good of their family at heart share. Many a times, we are uncomfortable with the truth that we choose our interests over those of our children and our spouses and so we try to justify ourselves, our attitutes and our decisions. On occasions, taking the more difficult decision for the genuine good of the family is necessary however the litmus test should be the values of the family and not the comforts we now consider as the must haves. And this is what the Archbishop is correctly addressing here. Not accepting this message, not reflecting upon our lives in the light of these thoughts is shortsigntedness and foolish - it should remind us all of building our houses on sand and not on solid foundations.

Dr Francis Saliba

Feb 24th 2009, 20:18

@JosephBrincat

The Archbishop's appeal is in connection with the difficulties families are facing today as a result of economic developments that have not been created by the Church. How could you blame the Archbishop for speaking "20 years too late" or for the Church's attitude at that time.

The Archbishop is only appealing that our children's proper place in the family should not be sacrificed on the altar of today's economic needs.

It would appear that for some people any stick could come in handy to belabour the Church even a heartfelt appeal not to ignore our children's fair share of their parents' attention.

v farrugia

Feb 24th 2009, 20:13

C Caruana, who's going to pay the wives' salaries? Through our own taxes? Aren't we taxed enough? Or rather, would you prefer that the bread-winner's cheque is written directly in his wife's name?

d borda

Feb 24th 2009, 20:10

I agree perfectly with was the Archbishop said. What I would like to add but is that the Archbishop should sound himself also on price hikes. People who want to become rich over night, people who, instead of earning a euro want to earn ten, and the dire financial situation.

When the prices and bills are affordable then people will be able to work less and spend more time with their kids. Kids are growing up without us enjoying their childhood.

M. Mizzi

Feb 24th 2009, 20:02

Well, ideally one of the parents should stay home to raise the kids but we are living in the real world. One salary is not enough to get by so what can be done. Either the husband gets a part-time job which leaves no time at all for him to spend with the kids or the wife starts working too and all the family is enjoying quality time together in the evening. You choose. By the way, some women might just WANT to work ( not NEED) maybe to use the brains that god gave them.

Joseph Brincat

Feb 24th 2009, 19:25

Dear Archbishop, This statement of yours is 20 years too late!!

Don't you remember when the church in Malta used to say that the wife's place is in the kitchen? When the PN promised each housewife 5 maltese pound every week? At this moment not even 20 euros would have an affect on the family's budget!!

This is purely a statement that you are not feeling the pulse of the Maltese family. Families are being destroyed by the economic disaster that we are being led into, EU and all. It would have been better had you remained silent like the church did all these 20 years. You are wise enough to know the reason for this.

C.Caruana

Feb 24th 2009, 19:13

Well said God's minister! Housewives should also be remunerated because they are working directly for their family which will benefit the society directly!
After all,God gave different roles to men and women in marriage with men being the bread- winner of the family and women taking care and providing tender love for her family.
Look at the birds for example,even they through insticts take up various roles according to their sexes in order to raise their siblings.
Give salaries to the housewives now!!!

v farrugia

Feb 24th 2009, 17:55

Mgr Cremona, thanks, but when you pay off my mortgage, and my bills, I will stay home to watch telenovelas, go to coffee mornings, invent 1001 crafts projects, and wash the floors till 11p.m. while the children are locked inside their rooms, lest they should mess up the house.

In the meantime, I'll put in 8 hours of paid productive time, pay my own bills, mortgage, National Insurance and Income Tax; and while my time with my daughter is reduced, I'm setting the good example by teaching her to depend on no one, but on her own brains, and her own 2 hands. Children of working mothers learn to be independent earlier, manage time, and to organise themselves in ways that those that are tied to their mother's apron strings don't have to until they reach adulthood, but, alas, by then it's too late.

ronald galea

Feb 24th 2009, 17:42

we need someone to be realistic
why doesn't he mention that in the past our wives went to work for the aircondition but today they go to work to be able to make ends meet.

P Grech

Feb 24th 2009, 16:49

Why don't we all stay at home playing with our children? who needs money ??? ohhh than the archbishop will send us some money from his, to fed our children!! Thanks!

Raymond Sammut

Feb 24th 2009, 16:37

@ Mgr Cremona

Your stance on this issue is unassailable not only for moral reasons, but also because it is economically sound.

Good economics must start from the family as the basic functional unit of production. The opportunity cost of putting this functionality at risk is severely underestimated, and only now the repercussions are being felt. Essentially, from an economics point of view, both parents working leads to more borrowings which artificially increases the demand for commodities.

At the same time, debts can only be repaid by a strong and healthy community. Such a community cannot exist when the proper functioning of the family as an economic unit is constantly being put in jeopardy with the two parents simultaneously under stress.

Randolph De Battista

Feb 24th 2009, 16:37

"Now, it seemed, a new phase was coming in – working to have more money to spend."
How can the Archbishop ever claim that people are working so that they can have more money to spend??! Is he seriousss?!!?! What about bills to pay? what about inflation??

Oh well....I guess he (or anyone in his name) will come out saying we misquoted him.

Tony Abela

Feb 24th 2009, 16:30

While one has to admit that a number of women stay working after marriage on their own choice, either for a career or for money and more luxury, one cannot deny the fact that many others have no other choice. It can be for paying the loans on the house, the car or furniture. I know of others who go to work against their own wish as they prefer to stay with their children rather then leave them with their grannies. These are those who cannot survive on one minimum or low pay. Today's family budget for food, energy, water and telephone cannot be catered for unless the bread winner has a good middle class wage or salary.

simon galea

Feb 24th 2009, 16:14

I fully agree with Archbishop Cremona. Unfortunately we are becoming extremely self centered.
Both husband and wife have the right to pursue a career, have right to 'occassionaly' hang out with their friends (in the absence of their children) ....and the list goes on. In order to make up for all this, the kids are deprived of quality time spent with their parents and spend their days either at school or in the company of the grandparents. End result?.......Kids are denied from their fundamental rights, grandparents are denied from their fundamental right of enjoying retirement (after all the sacrifices they been through while raising their children) before their health deteriorates and find themselves dumped in one our old people's home
( a very nice way to thank your parents after taking care of your upbringing and looking after your own kids!) BUT the 'rights' of the parents are taken care of!!!!!!!
Pity those kids and grandparents, what a shame.