Iam sometimes invited to cooperate with the police and the courts as a linguistic expert attempting to decipher the Creoles. This work is not necessarily very exciting (ergo my suggestions to the Minister for Justice), but the police and legal people I work with are very gentlemanly and ladylike. This activity brings me close to persons who have had problems with the law. Once I told a Minister for Justice that offenders are not totally bad as they have a psycho-social problem at the base of their legal anarchism. This former minister must be chuckling now as he reads this, for he considered my point of view as too positive and optimistic.

I have not changed my opinion. Some people do break the law but there is also a good in them which is obfuscated and perverted by unpleasant growing-up conditions such as poverty, ill-treatment by adults etc. This is why I very much believe in the reform of the lawbreaker. Education for this reform is far from developed in Malta (this is my second proposal to the Minister for Justice) and so much more can be done to render lawbreakers more cooperative with democratic society.

If I could make a third suggestion to the Minister for Justice, perhaps he could get more funds allocated to the refurbishment of some police stations.

Writers

Angry, aggressive writers also have some experience in their background, which influences their totally negative attitude and their hatred of people. It suffices to look back at the people who hurt us in the past to understand that these must not be allowed to dominate our minds and move our pens. Angry writers too have some good in them - and maybe a lot of it.

Politicians

Rarely does a politician create division on purpose. This may be done unwittingly. While the ideological chasm in Malta was attempting to decrease, out comes a revamped, heroic, political statement declaring a great love for conservatism, Christian Democracy (which was timidly attempting to put on a popular coat) and anti-liberalism. And I was criticised for distrusting centre-left overtures from the right!

On the buses

"You are not a Social Democrat."

"Why?"

"Coz you are against illegal immigration."

"Incredible! I thought that a Social Democrat was inevitably patriotic."

Saving the rainforest

No amount of explanation, clarification and apologetics will change the fact that the Pope of the Catholic Church spoke unkindly about gays in his Christmas speech - as reported in the media. Opinions expressed in this speech include: "homosexuality is unnatural and a destruction of God's work", "saving humanity from homosexual... behaviour (is) just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction". Why not let these people be? They are harming no one.

Smoking in Belgium

The law in Belgium makes it illegal for drivers to eat or smoke while driving. I don't know who the eating drivers are as their face is usually covered by a big ftira. I do believe, however, that parents who carry a child with a cigarette hanging from their mouths are as dangerous as smoking drivers.

In vitro fertilisation

Debaters about in vitro fertilisation sometimes bring forward religious arguments to strengthen their position. I believe that only couples should talk about couples' problems. Single, conservative men imposing natural sex (sic) and natural fertilisation (double sic) on others should be more interestingly occupied.

Songs, romanticism and patriotism

In my lecturing work I often promote some songs as literature. Of course, when lyrics wax hysterical about ethnic patriotism and euphoric romanticism they are dreary literature.

Shirt colours

Some people feel that it's a clever joke to associate shirt colour with the little history they know. If your shirt is black, you are a fascist; if it's grey, you are a priest; if red, you are a commie etc. I believe that these exponents of childish wit should give their telephone numbers to all acquaintances so they may be contacted for their shirt-colour approval.

Shattered knees

An old lady said on television that she had shattered knees and had been on the surgery waiting list for five years. She will probably die in her painful state. Some caring society!

A non-religious saint

Her husband has diabetes and has lost his fingers. She washes and feeds him. And she has three children. Her house is spotless and she also cleans other people's houses for a little money. Does she need to perform other miracles to be called a saint?

Guantanamo (EU)

I certainly do not agree with the suggestion that Guantanamo prisoners be brought to the EU. This is an American problem. Whatever next!

Dr Licari teaches psycholinguistics, sociolinguistics and geolinguistics at the Department of French of the University of Malta.

Sign up to our free newsletters

Get the best updates straight to your inbox:
Please select at least one mailing list.

You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the link in the footer of our emails. We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing.