Reflection and contemplation are rarely practised by the young generation. Their approach to life is futuristic and instantaneous. Live for today as if tomorrow never comes. Gone are the days of making New Year resolutions. Why should they bother with broken promises? Yet, most victims of today's society ills are the youngsters themselves. I belong to a different generation.

The not-so-old but not-so-young still believe that the transition period between the end of a year and the beginning of another is a time for reflection and resolution.

My imagination took me in a night club crowded with hyper young people, dancing in their own way to the tune of loud music, uncontrollably boozing shots of alcohol and flirting with one another. Nothing but a celebration of escapism. Most of them were just killing time, enjoying the physical sensation of being in a crowd. But others felt lonely within the crowd...

Loneliness is an "inner worm" that gnaws at the heart. It is defined as an enduring condition of emotional distress that arises when a person feels estranged from, misunderstood or rejected by others and/or lacks appropriate social partners for desired activities, particularly activities that provide a sense of social integration and opportunities for emotional intimacy.

However, loneliness has different meanings for different people. We have not yet discovered whether it is "a feeling" or "a condition". People who feel lonely describe it as painful and it is associated very strongly with feelings of depression, suicide, low self-esteem and aggression.

Maybe that is because we are social animals, needing each other to bond, to connect and to love. It's hard for human beings to seek to fulfil their needs that can never be satisfied.

Some people consider loneliness as a fleeting experience that comes along during cold gloomy days when there is little or no human contact. Others think that loneliness is a shadow that follows them all the time and that rears its ugly head at every human contact.

Loneliness is to be distinguished from aloneness. To be alone is to be by oneself. The only important condition for being alone is that there is no one else around you. It does not mean you are lonely; although it is quite possible to feel lonely when you are alone as much as you could feel lonely when you are not alone. Unlike loneliness, aloneness bears positive connotations. For some, it is a virtue. It is important to find the space and the time to be alone. Religious persons such as monks and cloistered nuns treasure their time alone for contemplation and intimate communication with God. In our daily routine we also feel the need to be alone for some time whatever our age, background or status.

The most commonly known types of loneliness are the "state loneliness" and the "trait loneliness". The first is generated by circumstances vis-a-vis the person who rarely experiences loneliness.

Those who occasionally feel in a bad mood, or those who feel homesick while abroad, are typical examples. The second is generated by the person who experiences loneliness irrespective of the circumstances or environment. It is considered to be a long-term phenomenon.

Robert Weiss, one of the most acclaimed researchers on loneliness, writes: "I was puzzled by the upsurge of loneliness that seemed to follow the ending of even an unwanted marriage, by the persistence of loneliness despite new friendships and by the suddenness with which loneliness could be abated (with the promise of a new partner)". According to Weiss it is not impossible to overcome our sense of loneliness in finding that special person, or our attachment figure, someone who gives us a sense of security or reassurance that we can face the world once again.

My contemplation for the New Year is directed towards all those who tend to feel lonely in some way or another. Loneliness could be abated if not eliminated. Adopting a coping strategy could take different forms. Looking for a social contact, changing your daily routine patterns, engaging in new activities could work miracles. Whereas opting for shopping sprees, eating habits, watching television or taking tranquillisers might amplify your loneliness instead of relieving it.

There is no time for loneliness in this year's calendar. It is time to move up and move on!

Happy New Year to the editor, staff and readers of The Times.

manuelmicallef@onvol.net