Labour's electric fantasies

Joseph Muscat spent most of his time on Monday in Parliament trying to look like he understood how oil is purchased, electricity is generated and the cost is recovered from consumers. He looked solemn and grave until the other shoe dropped.

He pronounced his advice to the government that all electricity and water meters should be read in one go before new tariffs were introduced. Last one who tried it was Alfred Sant in 1997 and look at the mess they made.

And all this because the arithmetic is too obscure for Dr Muscat to understand estimating consumption and correcting it against periodical readings as we had done every time the surcharge was revised without the errors Labour was faced with in 1997.

Now with such a poor understanding of the principles of math, no wonder he got so much else wrong. Dr Muscat: If the surcharge were to be applied to the new tariffs we'd be paying a 194 per cent surcharge. Myth. It actually works out at around 125 to 135 per cent and if he forgot his multiplication tables he should have figured out that if a 160 per cent surcharge (due this October) would have collected €253 million to recover oil costs, our revised forecast of €223 million will collect less.

Then he used a typical Sant theatrical spin. He read out a "letter" supposedly from an old-aged couple, worried that the annual cost of renting a three-phase supply for the lift had more than doubled to €900! Obscene, he said! It would be ... if it were true; but since the real rent charge is €195 per year, it is fairer to say that obscene applies elsewhere.

Fantasy? Considering that all the numbers are public and are contained in the presentations given to MCESD members, to the press and even to the Labour Party when they came to my office in the persons of Charles Mangion and Marlene Pullicino, I have to start wondering whether it's only fantasy. Dr Muscat was also invited but he was otherwise occupied!

He even said that the tariffs had to be high because Enemalta had bought oil in advance at a high price. Complete fantasy. Enemalta buys oil on a monthly basis at the price of that month!

He immediately ran head on into another gaffe. He said that we should buy more oil now so that when we mix it with the one which we were supposed to have bought we could lower the tariffs! Incredibly he confused "buying oil in advance" with "hedging" (which is not about buying oil) and was merely repeating the method that Enemalta has actually been using for years; buying oil at the current market price and balancing it with forward hedges.

Then he said that we had not given him the oil price per ton Enemalta had based its calculations on! All he needed to do was flip through the presentations given to his people.

Plain silly? Dr Muscat suggested we should use the reverse osmosis plants more at night and there should be cheaper rates for industry at night. Done that for donkey's years!

Dr Muscat suggests we put in a new system that allows consumers to read their consumption online. Tok, Tok, anyone up there? Didn't he read that last month Enemalta signed a €44 million contract to do just that among many other things!

Still not satisfied he left his best one for the end.

You should be ashamed of yourself, he ranted. Gordon Brown has been pressing to have petrol and diesel reduced immediately and you lot just sit there doing nothing! Shame, shame chorused his people. Fact: On October 20, 2008, a litre of diesel in the UK was €0.27 costlier than in Malta and petrol €0.13 costlier!

We have had stable prices since last June (diesel €1.20 and petrol €1.19) and at that time the UK was €0.30 costlier on diesel and €0.46 costlier on petrol. So who has the best policy; us, Gordon or Joseph?

Mickey Mouse facts may have sailed through in a 600-plus seat Parliament with three-minute speeches - they get noticed in our cosy Parliament and speaking for two hours has never been a good idea except for seasoned politicians.