The long and short of it

Here's a question for you: Is there a right way and a wrong way to play football?

This week, spurred on by the entirely pointless war of words between Arsenal and Stoke, I have spent considerable time pondering the above.

Just in case you missed it, Arsene Wenger has spent the week complaining that Stoke are too physical and that they use overly aggressive tactics.

Stoke manager Tony Pulis, on the other hand, has denied all the accusations, insisting his players are committed but never deliberately set out to hurt opponents.

Let's be honest; you can't find two more different teams than these.

On one hand you have Wenger's side, who play sublime, passing, pacey football, while on the other you have Stoke, who are in-your-face, physical and direct.

But just because one of them is pretty to watch and the other is based almost entirely on getting results, does that make one right and the other wrong?

The simple answer is no.

Purists will insist that football is all about keeping the ball on the ground, passing it sweetly and conjuring up spectacular, free-flowing moves culminating in a goal.

And maybe in its purest form, it is.

But, equally, there's nothing wrong with hitting the ball long and getting in the face of your opposition - an art which Stoke have pretty much perfected.

Stoke have limitations. Many of their team are cast-offs and Championship-level footballers who would never have made it to the top flight if Stoke hadn't bullied their way there.

Bearing that in mind, Pulis has decided to stick with the approach that got them promoted in the first place - and that has led to complaints from the bigger teams that don't like being intimidated on the pitch.

What teams like Arsenal seem to be forgetting, however, is that sometimes, the more physical approach to the game can be just as rewarding. You might not win too many fans, but you can certainly win matches.

Think of teams like Wimbledon back in the 1980s. There you had a squad made up of ex-bricklayers, postmen and has-beens. A team that had absolutely no right to be dining at the top table of English football.

Yet there they were, surviving for several years and even winning the FA Cup in the process. And how did they achieve all that? By kicking the ball long and their opponents hard.

Sometimes they may have gone a little over the top - inevitable when you have Vinnie Jones in the team - but for the most part they were in the top division on merit.

If you check the rule book there are no laws which state the ball cannot be kicked more than 40 yards. There is nothing which says throw-ins from the half-way line into the penalty box are illegal. And there is no reference to players having to be under a certain height or of diminutive physical presence.

And that's the simple beauty of football - anything goes.

If you want to pass the ball around for all eternity and once in a while score the perfect goal, that's fine. If you want to kick it all the way up the pitch where your seven-foot-tall strikers will scrap for a flick-on, why not?

Just like anybody else, I know which one I prefer to watch. But that certainly doesn't mean one is right and one is wrong.

So come to terms with it Wenger and stop your moaning. It's far more irritating than a Rory Delay throw-in and considerably less effective.

A penalty point

Just a quick word about Liverpool's penalty on Tuesday night. It wasn't.

Admittedly, they should have probably had one earlier in the match, but the one they did get was no more a penalty than Sarah Palin was an electoral asset.

Credit to Steven Gerrard for taking it well despite the pressure. Zero marks to the referee who proved you can still make it to the top of that profession despite being entirely oblivious to the laws of football.

Sticking with Liverpool, I couldn't help but smirk when I read that midfielder Lucas Leiva has become the latest player to have his house broken into while he was playing a game.

It happened during the above-mentioned match against Atletico Madrid when thieves slipped into his home and made away with an Olympic bronze medal and Liverpool and Brazil shirts.

Normally I would have a lot of sympathy with a footballer losing some of his most prized memorabilia, but not in this case - Leiva is the seventh Anfield star to suffer a similar fate in 18 months.

He joins a not-so-exclusive club which includes Steven Gerrard, Dirk Kuyt, Daniel Agger, Pepe Reina, Peter Crouch and Jerzy Dudek.

You don't have to be Hercule Poirot to realise there is a pattern forming here. A gang of thieves has obviously worked out that while footballers are playing live on television their homes are unguarded.

The stupid thing is that the gang of fooballers haven't worked out the pattern and they continue to fall victims to the same crime again and again.

Once bitten, twice shy I believe is the expression.

This is more like once bitten, seven times stupid.

Interim? Aren't they all?

Does anyone else agree that the title of 'interim manager' currently being bestowed on Newcastle boss Joe Kinnear is little short of stupid? Surely he is just the club's 'current' manager?

The dictionary defines interim as "the time between one event, process, or period and another". Well surely all managers are that, aren't they? There is nothing permanent about being a football manager, as many of them find out on a weekly basis.

Just because Kinnear is possibly going to be in the job for a short period of time doesn't make him any more 'interim' than other managers currently employed in the game.

I wonder if the title that has been bestowed on him has anything to do with the fact that he has made his hatred for the media abundantly clear?

No, of course not, that would make the media vicious and vindictive, and they are never that, are they?

Anyway, looks like Kinnear could have the last laugh. If he keeps things going the way they have been recently he could see his short-term deal made into a long-term one.

Then the press will be looking for another 'interim' scapegoat.

Your say

Thanks for all your e-mails of support regarding my piece a couple of weeks ago when I suggested Malta and Europe's other smaller countries should be given their own qualifying group for major tournaments.

Seems like the vast majority of people think it's a good idea. I would love to hear from the MFA as to why this is unworkable or impractical, if that's the case.

R. Bajada writes:

"Your plan for an alternative qualifying system involving the smaller countries in Europe certainly made for interesting reading as I too have been wondering if something like this may be possible. I am very passionate and patriotic about my country, but I also feel it is unfair that we will have to go on for eternity without ever having a chance of seeing Malta play in either the World Cup or European Cup finals.

"I am sure the people who run football will not be interested in your idea, but from speaking to fellow fans and friends I think the average man in the street would be in favour of it.

"Malta as a team need something to play for other than pride. We need to be able to go to the ground to support the team and help them win games that actually matter. If you start a petition for this I know a lot of people who will sign it"

John Grech writes:

"Normally I don't write in but I just want to say what a good idea you have for the alternative qualification group. Smaller countries like ours need some real incentive to play football and this would certainly come about by playing against teams of a similar standing.

"The problem is that can't see Fifa ever going along with this idea. This is wrong because as far as I know this is exactly how it works in other regions such as Australasia and Central America. There, I think, the smaller nations play their own groups before taking part in a play-off against one of the bigger nations.

"It would still be very hard for Malta to win such a play-off when you consider it could be against a country like England or Italy but at least we would have an opportunity to go through, which we don't have now.

"Let's give fans who are dying to support our team a real reason to do just that."

sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com