From seafarer to family carer

Vincent Grech is no usual run-of-the-mill husband. One would almost venture to say that he is one in a million, as the popular expression goes, and anyone who has had the pleasure of meeting this affable man and his beautiful wife, Mary Lourdes, will immediately pick up the vibes that these two people have a very unique relationship.

I had the pleasure of meeting the Grechs during a get-together held recently in order to work out the modus operandi of three seminars that will be held this month on the topic Niskopru l-Mara bħala Don t'Alla (Discovering Women as the Gift of God).

These seminars will be held by the ad hoc committee that has been appointed to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Pope John Paul II's Apostolic Letter Mulieris Dignitatem - On the Dignity And Vocation Of Women, in conjunction with the Institute of Pastoral Formation within the Archdiocese of Malta.

Mr Grech has been invited to address the floor during the first session, which will focus upon the contribution of women in the work-place. One might venture to ask: Why has a male speaker been selected to speak during a conference aimed primarily at the promotion of the feminine vocation? Well, as I have already intimated, Mr Grech plays an unusual role in a traditionally female-dominated area - the home, or, rather, to be more accurate, the practical day-to-day running of the home! "When we married, my wife and I decided that she would be the family bread winner and I would be the house-husband".

Humble description indeed, coming from an intelligent man who used to be a seafarer in the merchant navy. However, as Mr Grech confidently pointed out, since his job required him to spend long spells away from home, together the couple decided it would be more beneficial for them if Mrs Grech continued with her career as a physiotherapist while he took over the management of the home.

Their life carried on in this vein as they went on two have two children - a son and a daughter. With the exception of a short spell (when the children were in their teens), during which Mr Grech started working outside the home again, he completely took over the household chores and the daily routine of looking after the children. In his own words, "it was quite a novelty in those days and it still is but I didn't mind".

Of course, at the outset, the Grechs were concerned how this would affect their children as they grew up but, thankfully, they didn't seem to mind! They realised that their family set-up was different to that of their peers but, as both Mr and Mrs Grech confirmed, there doesn't seem to have been any problems. Both of the children are grown up now - the son is an officer in the Maltese army and the daughter is in her fourth year at the University.

The Grechs have made this style of life work for them. I asked them if they had any advice to pass on to spouses who may be inspired to give it a go. "Couples really have to work together as a couple", Mr Grech said. "What used to be classified as women's work is no longer so. Almost everything has to be shared out. You cannot expect a woman who, out of necessity and in agreement with her husband, chooses to further her career to do all the household chores". At this, Mrs Grech nodded in agreement, quite content to let her husband do all the talking!

Mr Grech, who will be accompanied by his wife, will deliver his presentation entitled Ir-Raġel Bħala Għajnuna Lill-Mara Li Għandha Karriera (The husband as help to the wife who has a career) during the first session of the seminar that will take place this Friday at the Catholic Institute, Floriana (St Paul Hall) from 7 p.m. to 8.30 p.m.

The other speaker shall be Antoinette Caruana who will address the floor on the topic Il-Mara Fuq Il-Post Tax-Xogħol (The woman at the work-place).

Some time will be dedicated to interventions from the floor.

Two other seminars will also be held:

On November 14 - Niskopru L-Mara Bħala Don Ta' Alla: Fil-Qasam Tat-Tmexxija (Discovering women as the gift of God - In leadership) - St Paul Hall, Catholic Institute, Floriana 7 p.m - 8.30 p.m: Il-Mara Bħala Leader (The woman as a leader) - speaker: Lara Tonna, Chief Commissioner of the Malta Girl Guides; Il-Mara, Strument Ta' Paċi U Ġustizzja (Woman, an instrument of peace and justice) - speaker: Magistrate Doreen Clarke.

On November 19 - Niskopru L-Mara Bħala Don t'Alla: Fil-Familja U S-Soċjetà(Discovering women as the gift of God: Within the family and in society) - St Monica School Hall, Gżira 7 p.m. - 8.30 p.m. (under the patronage of Archbishop Mgr Paul Cremona OP): Ġenituri Flimkien, Trobbija Flimkien (Co responsible parenthood) - speakers: Antoinette and Claudio Laferla; Ix-Xebba U L-Kontribut Tagħha Lejn Il-Familja U S-Soċjetà (The contribution of the single woman to the family and society) - speaker: Maria Attard, Dar Ġużeppa Debono, Gozo.

The author is a member of the ad hoc committee Mulieris Dignitatem.