Brain under siege

When Mary^* first started to forget things, Alice^* wasn’t surprised, after all her mother was in her mid-70s and time was simply taking its toll on her memory. Little did she know that her mother was actually suffering from the onset of Alzheimer’s disease.

Sitting at the family’s kitchen table, Alice recalls the early signs of her mother’s condition.“Mum came to live with us soon after my father’s unexpected passing 20 years ago. We were always close, and bar the odd squabble over the years she and my husband Patrick^* always got on well too; that is until about 10 years ago.

“Mum started forgetting where she’d put things and accuse Patrick or one of the girls of taking them. We would search high and low to find the missing object and she would be mollified when we finally found it, sometimes in the unlikeliest of places. At first we put it down to her age, she was over 70 and we thought it was natural to become forgetful at her age.”

As time passed, however, Mary’s behaviour became decidedly odd at times; she took to carrying her jewellery with her wherever she went – stored in large matchboxes stuffed in her handbag. When the couple found out about this, they were offended, taking it as a sign of Mary’s newfound distrust in their family.

The once harmonious family was becoming a battleground, with Mary sometimes seeming to become incomprehensibly vindictive towards the daughter she used to love so dearly.

“I started taking dressmaking lessons one morning a week and I would finish all the housework before leaving for my lesson.Then I would be perplexed to come home to discover that in my absence Mum had done something weird like wash the bedclothes in the bath, flooding the bathroom in the process.

Why would she do such a thing when I had obviously gone to so much effort to leave the house spic and span?”Alice was growing uneasy about her mother’s increasingly erratic behaviour, and when Mary started forgetting to take her medication Alice’s unease turned to alarm.

She consulted the family’s doctor and that was the first time she heard the words Alzheimer’s and dementia. A referral to the Memory Clinic at Zammit Clapp Hospital confirmed the initial diagnosis; Mary was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease.

“One of the doctors at the clinic suggested we should think about sending my mother to a residential home but, as long as I can cope, I am determined to keep her here with us.” The words are spoken softly but there is no mistaking the underlying determination.True to the pattern of Alzheimer’s disease, Mary’s condition has deteriorated to the point where she is practically bedridden; a mere shell of the woman she once was.“Mum doesn’t remember people from one day to the next; I babysit my grandson Larry* while my daughter is at work and Mum loves to play with him; but she ‘meets him’ afresh each time they play.

We have taught Larry that Nanna Mary is ill, that’s why she forgets him and now he patiently introduces himself every time.”Mary no longer recognises her surroundings and believes she is in hospital, her two children too busy to visit.

“Sometimes I’ll ask her ‘Mum, have you seen Alice?’ Her reply is always the same ‘No, poor Alice is too busy to come now. I used to help her with the children and now she has to do everything herself.’

“Mum can’t bathe or dress herself; she will not eat or drink unless we feed her. She babbles incoherently rather than talks, she no longer pronounces words correctly and when she does try to make conversation she loses her train of thought before she comes to the end of a sentence. Six months ago it broke my heart to hear her chat to her reflection in the mirror thinking this nice lady had come to visit; now she doesn’t even acknowledge the mirror.” Nevertheless, Alice remains determined to care for her mother at home for as long as possible and is currently looking into the home help available which could ease her burden.

“Every morning, just after I’ve bathed and dressed her, Mum smiles contentedly. That smile and the sight of her looking so fresh, so well cared for is one of the highlights of my day.”

^* Names have been changed.