Talk of the Toon

For Sale: One emotionally damaged Premiership club to be sold as a going concern. Numerous previous owners, none particularly careful. Dedicated and passionate clientele with slight tendency to revolt. Huge but consistently unfulfilled potential for development. Will throw in brand new, unused trophy cabinet as part of package. Offers around £350 million will secure. Call owner direct on 1-800-GETMEOUT.

The departure of serial-quitter Kevin Keegan from Newcastle is just the latest twist in what is fast becoming an epic tale of mismanagement, misfortune and mistakes.

When he rejoined the club for his second spell in charge, I had my doubts it was a story that would end happily. But even I didn't foresee that it would end so quickly.

Yet, just eight months into his second reign, King Kev abdicated his throne when it became clear he had no control over the club's transfer dealings. Not for the first time in his career, he packed his bags, said his farewells and rode off into the sunset.

Cue scenes of mass unrest from the club's fans that are, quite rightly, well and truly fed up with being ritualistically messed around. They gathered in their thousands to demand owner Mike Ashley and director of football Dennis Wise follow Keegan through the door. Preferably without opening it.

And it looks very much as if they will get their wish now that Ashley has bowed to pressure - not to mention a few unacceptable threats - and put the club up for sale.

But is that really the best thing for Newcastle United? Is more turmoil and uncertainty what the club needs right now?

Don't get me wrong, I am no Ashley fan. To be honest, I think the word 'obnoxious' may have been specifically invented with him in mind. His heart and soul have never really been in the club and it was just plain stupid to freeze his manager out of the transfer picture.

But at least Ashley had a vision for the club. At least he had a plan that he was working towards: turning Newcastle into the Arsenal of the north east. His aim was to make the club a sustainable proposition in business terms with emphasis on youth and development rather than buying players at over-inflated prices.

When he took over, it may well have been with the aim of one day selling the club at a profit. But, in the meantime, he was at least focusing his efforts on turning Newcastle into a well-run business with potential for future success.

Ashley knew that if he ever wanted to see a decent return on his investment he would have to put the club on a secure footing - and that is what he was busy doing when the latest wave of controversy struck.

Ashley's motives may have been selfish, but the benefits to Newcastle and their supporters would have been real.

Instead, by forcing Ashley to hang a 'for sale' sign outside St James' Park, the fans have effectively brought an end to the process of restructuring. And, as an added bonus, they have cemented Newcastle's reputation as England's comedy club.

There is always a chance that new owners - if any can be found - may well come in the form of billionaires who are happy to throw their money away building a winning team.

But equally, Newcastle could end up with Gillett and Hicks-type owners. This scenario is not unlikely given that football clubs are a bit of a luxury that most people can't afford in these troubled financial times.

The departure of Kevin Keegan is a setback for Newcastle on the field. Undoubtedly true. But the departure of Ashley from the boardroom will be a setback for them off it.

And that is something the Toon Army may well live to regret.

Here we go again

Over in Italy, Jose Mourinho has started to do what he does best - irritating the pants off his opponents.

The former Chelsea boss - now in charge of Inter - claimed after watching his side dispatch Catania 2-1 that the result should have been 5-1.

To my mind, that is not really anything to get wound up about. You hear managers in England make similar claims every week, mostly about Spurs at the moment.

But there appears to be something about Mourinho that makes even his most innocuous statement utterly insulting.

And that is exactly how Catania chief executive Pietro Lo Monaco took it. He described Mourinho as the "biggest bigmouth" on the continent and saying he risked "having his teeth smashed".

Lo Monoco later retracted the threat of dental rearrangement, dismissing it as a Sicilian turn of phrase, but still insisted Jose had insulted the whole of Catania with his comments.

As usual though, Mourinho had to have the last word, insisting Lo Monaco was just a publicity seeker.

"I know of the Principality of Monaco and the Monaco Grand Prix but that's all. If this Lo Monaco wants to make a name for himself by talking about me, then he should pay me," he said.

Delicate and soothing words which I am sure will have gone a long way towards defusing the situation and repairing the damage.

If the Italians have not realised it by now, then I think someone should point out that having Mourinho among your managerial ranks will be no walk in the park.

Before his first season at the San Siro is over Jose will undoubtedly have annoyed, angered, insulted and generally abused just about everybody he comes into contact with.

So Italian fans - and club bosses - had better just get used to it.

On the other side of the coin though, I think a word of advice for Jose himself might be in order: If you're going to get up to your old tricks, is it really wise to get the ball rolling with a Sicilian gentleman for whom 'smashing teeth' is little more than a turn of phrase?

Early title decider?

As starts to the season go, this one has been pretty poor by England's defending champions.

They have managed only two victories in six games so far this season, both against Portsmouth. One of those was the Community Shield which they won on penalties, and the other was a barely deserved 1-0 victory in the league.

Otherwise, Sir Alex's boys have been lethargic, slow and disinterested in their first few games, something that is highlighted by the fact that the mighty Darren Fletcher remains their leading scorer.

All in all, it adds substantial credibility to my theory that United spent last season overly reliant on Cristiano Ronaldo doing the business and without him they are a much less potent force.

Supporters of the club will argue that last season's start was equally erratic but still ended in double glory. True enough. But if being domestic and European champions doesn't give you the confidence to start the season well, I don't know what will.

On a positive note - for them at least - Ronaldo is now back and you could see the way his presence physically lifted the team when he came on against Villareal.

And to be honest, his return is not a moment too soon because I think today's match against Chelsea could go a long way towards determining where the title ends up next May.

United's opponents are on fire. Scolari seems to be the perfect antidote to the dull, dour efficiency of his two predecessors at Stamford Bridge. They are scoring goals for fun, playing some slick football and look so much more creative than they have done in recent years.

Obviously, there is far too much football still to be played for today's game to be conclusive in either direction. And Liverpool and Arsenal are both looking like they could be serious contenders this season.

But I can't shake this nagging feeling that the winner of today's game will have one hand on the Premier League trophy.

A little premature possibly? That's never held me back before.

Your say

Another dip into the e-mail inbox:

Alex Farrugia, e-mail, writes:

"Let me make it clear from the start. I am a life-long Manchester City supporter so I am totally biased in what I am going to say. But I was completely surprised by your article in the Sunday Times. I thought that you would be pleased that, after 16 years of Premier League football being totally dominated by just one team, (Man Utd won the title 10 times), with short spells from Arsenal and Chelsea, and a one-time win by Blackburn, there is a possibility that at least another team will be challenging for the crown.

"The English Premier League, contrary to popular belief, is one of the most boring, tedious and uninteresting leagues in the world. You have four teams competing for the top four places and the rest competing for 5th and 6th place. Now Man City can challenge, at least for a place in the Champions League. That would be a breath of fresh air in a monotonous, four-sided league.

"I cannot understand all this hype because Man City is now the richest club in the world. So what? Before us it was Man Utd and Real Madrid and Chelsea. Was it ok with them? Why is it not with us? Man Utd can buy whoever they want and whenever they want. The Berbatov saga is just one case in point. Is that fair competition? With Man Utd winning 10 out of the 16 Premier League titles, getting millions for winning the league, getting even more money from competing in the CL year in year out and, as a consequence, being able to buy the best players on the market, do you call that fair competition? Now Man City has the power to spend. Do you think that this will guarantee success? You know it can't. But at least Man Utd and Chelsea will have another competitor when it comes to buying the best.

"As for smaller clubs like your Sheffield Utd, they have very little to lose and much to win. With or without the Abu Dhabi-based investors or Abramovich, they still would never, ever have the slightest chance to compete for the top four spots. That's another fact. So what they have to do is organise themselves better and more professionally, develop their youth academies so as to be able to create future stars and then sell them to Man City. With the £40/50 million they get they will be able to build a stronger team to fight for Premiership status, very much as City did a few years ago with the sale of Wright Phillips to Chelsea."

sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com