And the winner is...

If I had a euro for every person who has asked me who will win this year's Premier League I would have almost enough cash to buy myself a ticket to a Chelsea match. Almost.

There seems to be a general assumption that just because you write about sports, you can predict the sporting future.

Now, obviously that isn't the case or I would be typing this from the deck of my luxury yacht in Monaco. Or, more probably, not typing this at all.

But despite the fact that my crystal football is as murky as a Beijing sunrise, I have always been ready to stick my neck out and make a few pre-season predictions.

This year, a combination of the Olympics and a desire to actually see the Premiership teams in action before jumping to conclusions means you are getting your dose of soothsaying a few games in.

But I hope that will only serve to increase their accuracy.

So remember, if it all pans out as I suggest below, you read it here first. If it doesn't, well, hey, what did you expect?

Arsenal

Sometimes watching Arsenal is a bit like watching a group of naked supermodels trying to assemble a rocket - very pleasing on the eye and extremely entertaining but with little or nothing to show for their effort. Passing the ball incessantly for 90 minutes is all well and good, but if you don't stick it in the back of the net at some point you don't win matches. Ultimately I think this obsession with playing beautiful football will once again prove Wenger's domestic downfall. A cup or two maybe, but no league glory. Final position: 4th.

Aston Villa

A funny old team, Villa. Sometimes it can be like watching an efficient, working-class Arsenal in that they play fast, attacking football that leaves their opponents gasping for air. At other times they look like Colchester's reserves, struggling to string passes together and defending like it's the first time they have met a football. If O'Neill can improve their consistency, they could surprise the top four. But they probably won't. Final position: 6th.

Blackburn

Unluckily for them, Blackburn is the team I have decided to support in this year's Premiership. In Paul Ince they have a top-flight virgin and it remains to be seen if he has enough experience to manage with the big boys. Having said that they have made a decent start and, if Ince can keep the dressing room on side, there is no reason why Blackburn can't continue to consolidate in the top half of the table. Final position: 8th.

Bolton

The hardboiled egg of Premiership football in that they are very hard to beat. They have punched above their weight for several years now and avoided relegation last season only thanks to a combination of luck and shrewd management. I don't like Gary Megson as a manager but he certainly gets the job done. And he will this season too. Just. Final position: 16th.

Chelsea

Despite their successes in recent years, Chelsea has lagged far behind Arsenal and Manchester United in terms of finesse. Efficient, reliable and effective, they have become the Volvo of football. The Scolari revolution, however, has seen the players begin to realise their undoubted ability. A mix of old determination with new fluidity will see them emerge victorious. There could even be an unthinkable double dethroning for Sir Alex with the Londoners claiming glory in Europe as well as at home. Ouch. Final position: 1st.

Everton

Having only just failed to muscle their way into the top four last season, I expected Everton to spend the summer making the key additions to their squad that would take them to the next level. Strangely, they decided it would be more fun to spend the last three months arguing about their new stadium. And getting nowhere. The acquisition of injury king Saha will not see them pushing for the Champions League as he will probably play no more than 14 minutes all season. Final position: 5th.

Fulham

Last season they pulled off an escape so great it would have made Steve McQueen blush. This season there should be no such drama at Craven Cottage. They have already beaten an admittedly very poor Arsenal side and, when Andy Johnson gets fit, they should have more than enough about them to comfortably avoid the drop. Don't expect too much from them though. Final position: 17th.

Hull

The best way for a newly promoted team to stay in the Premier League is to hit the ground running. And Hull have done just that, taking four points from their first two games. Sadly, I can't see them keeping it up and they will eventually get caught up in a Derby-like run of form that will see them packing their bags for the return trip to the Championship. Still, it was fun while it lasted. Final position: 19th.

Liverpool

No matter what the fans might think, Rafa Benitez is not the man to end their long wait for a league title. Obviously he is not helped by having dumb and dumber in the boardroom, but his constant tinkering with the team combined with his over-reliance on Gerrard and Torres to save the day is just not good enough. They have made a decent start to the season, but I am afraid at some point the swapping and changing will upset the balance. Pity, as I would love to see the Anfield boys mount a real challenge for the crown. Won't happen under the Spaniard. Final position: 3rd.

Middlesbrough

There is something about Gareth Southgate that makes him likeable. Maybe it is the fact that he has made it all the way to the top of the game despite having a face like an unmade bed. Or maybe it's the fact that he is incredibly honest about his own abilities and shortcomings. Whatever the case he is slowly but surely building a decent team that plays attractive football and mid-table security is the least they can expect. Final Position: 10th.

Manchester United

Last season they were superb and thoroughly deserving of their tremendous double. No question about that. But, and I don't think this can be denied, a lot of their success was down to the brilliance of Ronaldo. Take him away and you are left with a very good, but not great, team. With his current injury and continuing doubts over where his loyalties really lie, he won't reach anything like the heights of last season. And, consequently, neither will United. Final position: 2nd.

Manchester City

It's always nice to be wanted. And Shinawatra Thaksin certainly falls into that category. At least by the authorities back in Thailand. When Mark Hughes left Blackburn for City he thought he was on to a winner. Bigger club, bigger stadium, bigger support, bigger budget. All he seems to have got though is bigger problems. Won't struggle but won't set the Premiership alight. However, re-signing Shaun Wright Philips was a public relations masterstroke that will buy Hughes time to get it right. Final position: 13th.

Newcastle

I have to admit I had my doubts when Keegan returned to the club. To me he was not so much a messiah as a naughty boy who quits when the going gets tough. But their early season showings seem to indicate that I was greatly mistaken. There is a resilience and determination about them that I have not seen for a while and there will be no talk of relegation battles this season. It would be nice to see them challenging for the top places but that won't happen while chief speculator Mike Ashley remains as owner. Final position: 12th.

Portsmouth

I have a lot of admiration for Harry Redknapp. Despite being football's equivalent of Del Boy, he does build remarkably good football teams and would, quite possibly, have made a better England manager than Capello. Then again, so would my dog. On the evidence of what I have seen so far, it will take a while for the little and large act of Crouch and Defoe to bed in, but when they do I fully expect Portsmouth to be up there challenging for the Uefa Cup again. Final position: 7th.

Stoke

After a quarter of a century away from the top flight it's always nice to see fallen giants claw their way back into the big time. Sadly, in Stoke's case, 'giants' is the operative word as their collection of six-footers muscled and headed their way to promotion last season. That sort of game plan will soon come unstuck in the Premier League when teams realise that they can just pass their way round them. Or distract them with shiny objects. Final position: 20th.

Sunderland

The Roy Keane revolution at the Stadium of Light shows no signs of slowing down. He took over a team at the bottom of the Championship, got them promoted in his first season and kept them up in his second season. This year, thanks to some excellent signings, I can't see them struggling at all. Comfy time for Keane and his crew as the Irishman continues his apprenticeship with a view to taking over at Old Trafford. You just know it's heading that way. Final position: 11th.

Tottenham

Oh dear. By early afternoon Spurs could be officially enduring their worst start to season for 29 years. And, considering they are playing Chelsea away, that has to be a distinct possibility. Personally I think Ramos has got his transfers all wrong and has brought the crisis on himself. Selling all your strikers is always a bit of a daft thing to do at a football club. I think they will recover but will only finish mid-table proving that Jol wasn't that bad after all. And that the chairman was a muppet for firing him. Final position: 9th.

West Brom

One of those yo-yo teams that are just that bit too good for the Championship but not quite good enough for the Premier League. Their pre-season signings have been average and I can't see them doing very much other than fighting relegation for the next eight months. Their only real hope would come from some major investment in January but I can't see that materialising. It would be good money after bad. Still, they will be back the season after next. Final position: 18th.

West Ham

As a club, the Hammers seem to deal with more injuries every year than Mater Dei. In fact, they should seriously think about approaching BUPA to be their next shirt sponsor. If sack-race favourite Curbishley can keep most of his players fit, they have more than enough ability to make the top half of the table. Sadly, that is unlikely and it's a situation not helped by selling key players like Ferdinand. A season of struggle ahead. Final position: 15th.

Wigan

Playing your games in a half-empty stadium can't be any fun for the players. Then again, watching a team with Emile Heskey as its main star can't be much fun for the fans either. Steve Bruce is more than capable of keeping this team up and I believe they will continue to defy the odds again this season. I have my doubts that a city that cares so little about its team actually deserves top-flight football, but that's what all eight of their fans will get again next season. Final position: 14th.

sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com