'Reality' is the only word in the English language that should always be used in quotes according to my wise friend Anon. Never was a sentiment so true.

The other day, I was trying to find some merit in the sundry teleshopping programmes that were being shown on different channels, including the Maltese ones.

I chanced upon a local station showing a portfolio of a fashion firm. The photos included a couple where the man was laying prone on the ground in chains, and the woman, attired in what could only be described as S&M wear, was simulating stepping on him. The presenter guilelessly asked about the style of the photographs and the reply was, "aggressive". The mind boggles.

On to the favourite mistake of most local newscasters and commentators who assume that, just because Condoleezza Rice and Nancy Pelosi are women, the gender of the American word 'State' must likewise become feminine, as in "Stat Amerikana"(sic).

It is worthwhile noting that our local stations kept away from the recent debacle involving Pelosi. In her August 24 interview with Tom Brokow on NBC's Meet the Press, she attempted a theological defence of her support of abortion rights.

Pelosi quoted Saint Augustine as having said that 'perhaps' life begins at three months' gestation, whereas his difficulty had actually been about the stages of human development before birth with regard to ensoulment and life in eternity. Actually, the early Fathers had put non-spontaneous abortion on a par with infanticide. She then further messed up her argument by including some waffle about how each of us has a conscience.

What makes this neglect even more shameful is that many stations, in their so-called 'news' programmes, include spurious information (read gossip) about pop stars and other personalities that are less than useless.

Another thing that annoys me when it comes to news bulletins is that felons are referred to by their nicknames, which allows them to have folk hero status. Then again, people would not know who they are if their baptismal names and surnames were used.

Surveyors from the Department of Statistics can call us until the cows come home, asking about which local radio and television programmes we follow. They never ask us for these details because, apparently, there is not a box for comments in the forms they fill in. And so these attitudes will be perpetuated, because each administration of each medium thinks it knows what is best for us.

It would seem that TVM, the station of the nation, has finally filled in the blanks on its schedule page; not that one would think so looking at the website, which has yet to be launched. The morning show goes to John Bundy, and the early afternoon one to Ray Calleja.

Children have Tini 5 and other programmes, geared to different age groups. Malta, Grajjietha will be broadcast from October to March in the coming schedule, and I hear that there is a lot of new research behind this coming series. One may catch up with the last cycle on Thursdays after the 8 p.m. bulletin. The current series is being aired on Wednesdays at 6.05 p.m. with a repeat on Saturdays at 2 p.m.

TVM news bulletin. Klinika will be on Wednesdays, repeated at 10 p.m., and the evergreen favourites Waltzing Matilda and Meander will remain the jewels in the crown of TVM.

There have thankfully been a number of changes with regard to how the Junior Eurovision Festival will be run. This year's show will be hosted by feisty Pauline Agius, who will surely bring a sparkle to it. I was hoping there would be an opportunity given to a newcomer or two, but the decision was never mine to make.

All three sessions will be aired live on TVM, on September 9, 11, and 13, from PBS itself. However the audience will be made up entirely of children - details about invitations tickets are to follow - and I wholeheartedly support the wisdom of this decision. The home audience can, however, vote its choice. This will count as 11 per cent of the total vote and will be the equivalent of a ninth jury member.

In all, there are 36 semi-finalists, 16 of whom will qualify for the finals. The winning song will represent Malta in Limassol, Cyprus, for the Junior Eurovision Festival.

Anyone interested in attending the next Berlinale Talent Campus, a six-day creative summit for up-and-coming film-makers to take place from February 7 to 12, 2009, can contact Susanne Schneider at susanne@berlinde-talentcampus.de.

Just by chance (I was on the way to visit a friend) I came across the house at Fgura, where the silly, repetitive Candid Camera clips for Net were filmed. As an accidental tourist, I could garner information from the locals. Apparently, the idea came from the people behind Bawxati. They called a lot of acquaintances connected to local production, filming and advertising agencies with trumped-up excuses and on different pretexts. Then they got out the ersatz blood and did the 'hit-and-run' scenario.

This means that this same joke could be played, ad nauseum, on different people. The organisers never took into account that at least one of them could have a dickey heart, or could have had personal problems, or could have been feeling below par and not in the mood for an idiotic joke like that...

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