The simple question: Is Malta a secular State or a religious State? This question must be answered if some consensus on divorce is to be achieved. Limited consensus will have to do, for a large proportion of citizens is firmly opposed, so it is hopeless to expect a general consensus. On the other hand, if we agree that Malta is a secular State, then it would be logical for civil divorce to be as available as civil marriage.

The problem seems to lie with the "meaning" or "concept" of marriage. Is it simply a civil contract, or a sacred union? Of course it is both. Yet a marriage blessed in Church must be accompanied by a civil contract, or it would not be valid in the eyes of the law. Thus marriage is first and foremost a civil contract. That is a fact which no amount of theology can dispute. Even Catholics who believe implicitly in the Sacrament and its indissolubility cannot be legally married without the civil element. Though the contract is undeniably a civil one, the Sacrament of Marriage which is available to practising Catholics is a religious option which adds to the sanctity of the union and adds a spiritual value which strengthens the foundations of the family to be built thereupon.

It is unlikely that marriage contracts dealing with dowries and settlements and other material arrangements have a spiritual aspect. Civil contracts may be broken by agreement or by litigation, so it is unjust to deprive citizens of this legal remedy simply on religious grounds. Religion is a matter of choice, choice which is a personal matter of conscience, and not something to be imposed by the State, with the presumed rationalisation of defending our Catholic way of life and the sanctity of marriage and the family.

Robert Musumeci wrote recently in The Times that "free and equal citizenship does not run counter to the Christian valuation of the individual". He also said, "one must be convinced that society calls for a constitutional separation that should render easier the promotion of racial and religious equality in an atmosphere of mutual tolerance and respect for human rights, in other words, the recognition of a diverse society in which...all are entitled to their own beliefs".

The contribution of His Grace the Archbishop, in A Wake-up Call (Sunday Times, June 1), referred to the division of responsibilities between Church and State as defined by His Holiness in Deus Caritas Est. His Grace has been clear on this matter. Why then do our elected representatives choose to be more Catholic than the Pope? If the subject is removed from party politics surely there will be no political downside. As Joseph Muscat has wisely requested, "Allow a free vote, Mr Gonzi".

As a firm believer in family life, I have learnt through my own experience that, paradoxically, divorce offers the best chance of renewing family life when a marriage breaks down. My first marriage broke down after 20 years, and ended in divorce in England, where we were resident. I returned to Malta, where I met my present wife, who was unmarried. We were married at the Valletta Registry Office. We are now in our 18th year of happy family life, which we share with my daughters and their mother too. Surely this is better than having lived for the last 18 years "in sin", or "poġġut" in the vulgar vernacular, in a relationship which has no legal standing.

The recent statistic that Malta has one of the highest rates of children living with single parents supports my belief. As things stand the law does not allow the possibility of starting a legal second family. The only alternative to celibacy and loneliness is "to live in sin"! There is no other option and, as a result, this has become the accepted way of life in Malta, though it is an unacceptable arrangement from several points of view.

It means that there is no security, both financial and social, for the partners. It sends the wrong signal to the children of broken marriages causing them to wonder if marriage is for them or not. As a result many young couples don't bother to get married, and simply part when they get bored with each other - thus so many single parent families. Also, in our Catholic environment, there is a strong element of shame as, even outside the Church, the sense of ethics is strong and most Maltese do not relish the idea of a relationship which is not recognised by civil law and Maltese society.

Even for sincere Catholics who consider marriage to be indissoluble, the possibility of entering into a second marriage, albeit outside the Church, may offer an opportunity for providing a serious and secure home, an arrangement far preferable to that of having a new "uncle" who is a regular visitor, or a new "friend" who sleeps in mama's bed, though he may have a home and possibly children of his own. A legal second marriage at least brings with it respectability and security. The Church may well consider divorced Catholics as still wed in the eyes of the Church - I have no problem with that. I have always considered my "first wife" as just that, never as my "ex-wife". Though the sacraments are officially not available to those living "in sin", in practice the sacraments are not denied to people in my situation. It therefore becomes a matter of personal conscience.

If the victims of broken marriages can have the chance to regularise their lives, on both the practical and spiritual sides, I am convinced we would have a better, more honest, and decent society. Wisdom generally comes with age, so that a second chance in middle-age, or thereabouts, can result in better families formed by partners who have hopefully learnt from their earlier youthful mistakes. I beg for tolerance and compassion so that this can happen.

Sign up to our free newsletters

Get the best updates straight to your inbox:
Please select at least one mailing list.

You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the link in the footer of our emails. We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing.