Christian Peregin
Single mothers call for end to 'father unknown'
"The term should be changed to 'father does not shoulder his own responsibility'"
The term "father unknown" needs to be changed because it is inaccurate and creates too many complications, according to two single mothers who were interviewed by The Times.
They also called for there to be a way to force fathers to accept responsibility and pay maintenance, without having to end up in court at the mother's legal expense.
Speaking to The Times, Lucy*, a single mother who chose not to register her child under the father's name, said that a woman would have to be blind, drugged and raped to not know who the father of her child is, unless she is a prostitute.
She suggested that the term be changed to "father does not shoulder his own responsibility", because in her case, she was abandoned after being "offered" an abortion.
She was 21 at the time, and decided it was more dignified to accept full responsibility of the child by herself than to chase a 29-year-old man and pay the legal fees to force him to support her.
It is thought that some single mothers write "father unknown" in order to obtain more funding from the government, but in reality single mothers who do not declare who the father of their child is, are actually losing their right to ask the father for financial child support and inheritance, she pointed out.
Another single mother, Mandy*, also raises her child alone. Although the father is registered, he has always been absent in their lives.
She told The Times that, in retrospect, she would prefer her child to be registered as "father unknown" because his legal presence has led to many difficulties. The child has his father's surname, meaning that Mandy is often asked to prove that she is his mother. When the child needs to travel, she must find the father to get his approval and signature.
She said that since she has not been in contact with him for six years, this might create problems. She is afraid that one day her son will need to travel, perhaps for medical treatment, and she will not manage to find the father for his approval.
But worst of all she fears that the father, who has never met his son, will be able to impose himself into their lives at any moment.
"He can even go to the child's school, say he is the father, pick him up and take him away. That would be a nightmare," she said.
She used to think that those who write "father unknown" were women who do not know who the father of their child is. Now she thinks that many single mothers choose to write "father unknown" so that none of these complications would arise.
However, despite wanting to get rid of these complications she still feels that the term "unknown" does not reflect reality. "The father is not unknown. He is absent because he wants to be," she said. She also feels the term would be degrading to herself and her child.
A spokesman from helpline 159, the Social Policy Information Centre, said that it is actually very rare for a mother to be unaware of who the father of her child is, although such cases do exist. She said that the social benefits for single mothers are pretty much the same, regardless of whether the child's father is registered or not.
The father's presence is calculated as part of the means test that is carried out when one applies for social benefits. The means test examines how much the mother earns, how many children she is supporting, whether she lives alone or with parents, and so on.
Mandy and Lucy both work and study, and do not receive any extra social benefits. This is because the money they earn is deducted from the government funding that they would otherwise receive.
Although in the first few years they were supported by the government, nowadays they both make more than the supplementary relief which amounts to about €250 per month.
Although they agree that abuse of social benefits is rampant, they both say that their problems, as single mothers, are not only financial.
Lucy insists that she does not care about what society thinks of her, as long as she knows that she is doing the best for her son's life and education. But, like Mandy, she thinks that the term "unknown father" is degrading.
Mandy insists that there should be a way to force fathers to accept responsibility and pay maintenance, but that this should not be done at the legal expense of the single mother. She says she is afraid to hassle the father of her child for money because she fears that he will retaliate and that the case would end up in court at her expense.
A social worker, who preferred to be unnamed, said that although abuse of social benefits is very common, this is not usually the case with single mothers.
"Most single mothers live below subsistence level," she said.
She explained that even when the father is registered, the support he gives is minimal. If the father is unemployed, or has minimum or undeclared earnings, his obligations are reduced substantially.
It is up to the mother to chase him for the money, and if the father makes it difficult, the case often ends up in court, at the expense of the mother, she said.
Appoġġ spokesman Rosalie Vella Piscopo told The Times that an unknown father registration leaves a psychological impact on the child and can also have a negative effect on the parent.
"This parent would have a dual role of mother and father, which may lead to poverty because of a lack of resources. These single parents many times have to live on social assistance, be only able to work limited hours and/or have low income," she said.
Communications Minister Austin Gatt, who is responsible for civil registration, recently apologised for giving an erroneous and inflated figure regarding the number of babies whose fathers were registered as unknown.
He had initially said that one in every five babies born last year were registered as having an "unknown father" - more than double the figure given for 2006. This led to an outcry spearheaded by Azzjoni Nazzjonali to end benefits to those single mothers who do not declare the name of the father, except in the cases of rape, in an attempt to curb abuse of social security.
Later it transpired that the figure had actually decreased from 2006, and Dr Gatt made a statement to correct his error. The correct figure should have read 9.09 per cent - 352 out of 3,871 births.
* Names have been changed to protect the identity of the children.
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In Discussion
21 Comments
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Michael Pace
Aug 6th 2008, 00:12
What about the child? No matter what it's father or mother did, it has a right to be respected and aided until it can fend for itself. Being a single mother's child, and not wanted by its single father, is already too much of a handicap for people to want to increase its problems, especially for so-called moral reasons. It should not be obliged to go about telling everebody its father is an irresponsible good-for-nothing every time it's asked for its parents' name.
The State, to defend the child, who is completely innocent, must do all to discover the father's identity and have him do his part in caring for the child. It's not right for the child to depend on its mother's willingness or courage to fight a legal battle, with all the expenses and bother (and even danger, as Mandy told us). And if the father has to be forced to do this, he must have absolutely no right over the child he doesn't even have the courage to admit is his own. (Sorry for the "it", but unfortunately it is the pronoun that should be used for "child". Although I hope I'm wrong!)
M. Attard
Aug 5th 2008, 23:45
@ C. Pace
Prosit !! Its nice to hear your experience cause people just spit out judgements and have NO clue at all what the situation is really here.
Lynn Zahra
Aug 5th 2008, 21:54
This "unknown father " thing is very tricky. The mother cannot declare a man to be the father without his approval and if the man contests paternity, a dna test is the only solution. If all single mothers had to make the man pay maintenance after establishing he is the father by means of dna testing of course society would benefit, but acutally, it does take rather a long time to establish these issues in court and some people just don't have the money for a court case nor the patience to see the thing through until many years, in court.
Denis Catania
Aug 5th 2008, 21:24
@Charles Camilleri:It takes two to tango, boys should also be taught too, how to be safe. And should that safety net don't work. That burden should be shared between both of them. I don't care if that man is married. He should have, realized what he was doing.Most of the 14 yr old girls you are talking about, are being picked upor hit on by men not kids. We blame the girls when they get raped, we blame them when they get pregnant. Wow! maybe I should have done that, blame the girls and walk away, but than again, I wouldn't be considered a MAN.So I showed my manhood not just in bed. But by being there afterwards.
Franco Farrugia
Aug 5th 2008, 19:09
We have to be responsible for our actions. This is the most important lesson that children and youngsters have to learn!
But who is going to teach it to them, if not their own parents at home?
But then, if their parents are the type who couldn't care less, how are these children to learn this important lesson?
There are many, many, instances in the country where teenage pregnancies is family tradition!!!!!! And they are proud of it! This has to stop. Do whatever you like to please your natural instincts and you body, but then, please, don't expect society and the State to shoulder your financial responsibility.... free housing, direct Church school access without exams, social services ... what next, I wonder?
And the taxpayer pays! Huh! Humbug!
C Pace
Aug 5th 2008, 16:47
I had a kid at 18, while still studying. With family support I continued studying & at no point did I get government support other than child allowance & a married person's tax bracket - I funded my studies as well as my child's needs through jobs & a decent wage since then. The assistance offered by the state was a joke, nobody would be able to get by on that alone! I was advised to register my child with an unknown father - the reason was that the father left before the birth & made things like applying for a passport without requiring the father's presence. The law at the time allowed the father to change the name anyway (without me being informed), giving me no option to change it unless I put my child up for adoption and adopting myself!) I had to go through a costly procedure of applying for sole parental rights. The child still cannot accept the different surname, the father was never obliged to pay towards the child's upbringing. Where is the fairness in all this? I have managed but the law still won't allow scars to heal!
Joanne Micallef
Aug 5th 2008, 16:19
@ Ms Pia Zammit - Granted that there are a few responsible youngsters out there, though according to the statistics from the GU clinic clearly many are those who are behaving irresponsibly by having unprotected sex hereunder is a paragraph from yesterday's article.
'What was even more disturbing was that 50 per cent of the underage patients described their last partner as causal and in many cases they did not even know the first name of the person they had been intimate with. Dr Carabot said this made partner notification (contact tracing to inform the other person to get themselves checked for sexually-transmitted infections) impossible'
@ Mr Mercieca - And that is why AN have proposed that honest tax payers should not have to make good for those fathers who are not willing to shoulder their responsibility.
Charles Camilleri
Aug 5th 2008, 16:00
Girls should be taught from early stages about the consequences of giving in to man's demand so easily. Girls of 14 yrs and older in Paceville and other entertaining places with the minimum of cover will only lead to one think. Moaning and whining afterwards will not solve any problem except of being a burden to society.
Denis Catania
Aug 5th 2008, 14:27
Arrest the father, if he chooses not to be there, take a DNA test right away, If he is the father,make him pay. If he doesn't want to pay or can't find a job, hire them to clean Malta and 75% of his pay must go to the child. We will have a clean country and single mothers, won't have to suffer. For his night of joy.
Pia Zammit
Aug 5th 2008, 13:30
@ Joanne Micallef re condoms. I think your comment is a little bit sanctimonious. even when using a condom responsibly there can still be 'slip ups' (for lack of a better term). The darned things can tear or slip off on occassion. granted, rarely - but it still happens. i don't think it's anyone's place to fling about accusations of 'irresponsibility'.
M. Mercieca
Aug 5th 2008, 13:14
@ sabine Grech
We are still a bit ‘backward’. The more we go modern you will see mothers at the age of 11 or 12. If nature permits we may see mothers at earlier ages !!!!
Its all lack of morality my dear. We have traded our Christian values with reckless liberty and sex-based culture. The latter, produced unsolved social dilemmas.
@ E Serracino Inglott
You wrote:
‘Of course fathers should shoulder the responsibility and help to maintain their children, but if they don't want to (or cannot) then what?’
At the first place a respectful girl should be thought not make herself accessible to sex before marriage. Let alone to get pregnant.
If I were to make laws, I would criminalize such act, to teach man how to behave and to protect other girls and the society from evils.
@ Joanne Micallef
AN, Should know that, single parents and cases of unknown fathers are milking our economy dry ‘continually”. Just work out how much each case cost. In my opinion this is a more serious problem much bigger than the illegal immigrants. But the latter they don’t have VOTES as you know.
Mary Mills
Aug 5th 2008, 12:16
The term 'unknown father' has, historically, been a 'seal' to protect the identity of the father. He had nothing to do with what might have been the circumstances of the begetting of the child! Only the mother. She had "sinned" a sin which cast a long shadow. The imposed "shame" did not merely hang over mother and child throughout their lives; it has, until very recently still seeped onto subsequent generations through legal documents, say to do with a Contract of Sale, declaring some remote parentage of the Vendor.( What threadbare relevance might this have, one asks?)
There may still be the lingering idea that 'unknown father' is still what a mother reckons she ought to put down and not least because of the complicated circumstances surrounding the origins of the child. So it's not all got to do with playing the System - exploiting the welfare state.
As to the fact that, nowadays, some teenage girls (especially) seem to have such a casual attitude towards the idea of having a child - a life's undertaking, if only they knew beforehand (!) well the arguments would relate to a different sort of impoverishment.
M. Attard
Aug 5th 2008, 12:05
FINALLY !!!! An article with some sense !! At least my arguments in the past issued articles have now come to light !! Again, everycase is unique. Those who never experienced such period in his life should not even try to comment!! Became a single mum at 16, worked for my son and did it all by myself. My son grew in a childs nursery whilst I continued to study and work full time, had to live on my own and never got a penny from social contributions. Today we share a special bond. His father is registered unknown but he is there for his son. That's all I care for... My son should be happy - and its up to me and what the govern. offers never effected my life or my sons. I just saw my own interests and that of my sons. Today I have a steady job and a bright kid and hassle free family probs... Sorry to say this in maltese: Ma nafx ghala in-nies jaqaw ghal daqshekk konkluzzjonijiet !!! Thankx fo rthe TIMES to bring up this argument again - especially now when we heard both sides !!!!
John Spiteri Information Secretary AN
Aug 5th 2008, 12:00
Don't twist our words. Azzjoni Nazzjonali called for an end to benefits for those who do not name the father. Those who read the original press release (still available online) of which a lot was left unquoted in the times report will know that the gist of the statement was to bring the fathers to shoulder their responsibilities which is exactly what these women want too. let me quote for your readers benefit:
"This is not, as the so-called liberal writers have tried to portray it, a holy war on single mothers, but a moral obligation to bring those fathers who have been so far absolved of their obligations to account and to shoulder the consequences of their actions. If they have no problem in sleeping around and siring children without a qualm, the least that they should be obliged to do is to be made to maintain their offspring and not be left at leisure to perpetuate the problem at the taxpayer's expense."
The least the Times could do is to try to be fair in its reporting if it wants to provide a responsible service to its readers.
Joanne Micallef
Aug 5th 2008, 11:14
Being a single mother is one thing declaring father unknown is another. No matter if the father is in the picture or not every child has the right to know who his or her father is.
At the end of the day it all boils down to irresponsibility, all one has to do to avoid such circumstances is use a condom, which would not only avoid an unwanted pregnancy but would safeguard against the many sexual transmitted diseases which are significally on the increase.
Mary Mills
Aug 5th 2008, 11:10
The term 'unknown father' has, historically, been a 'seal' on the father's identity in order to protect . He had nothing to do with whatever might have been the circumstances of the begetting of the child! Only the mother. And lest anyone forget, she, after all ,had 'sinned' , and sin casts a long shadow.
sabine grech
Aug 5th 2008, 10:43
I have never ever seen so many VERY young mother like here in Malta ... 14 year old girls who did educate them? The responsibility starts there , girls are 14 "boys" are usually much older !!
Do you really think you have to be a prostitute if you have more than 1 boyfriend ( maybe at the same time ) ? This is just all hypocritical , you change the term or leave it . Just focus on really important things
joanna jibiri
Aug 5th 2008, 10:36
finally, i was a single mother once. thank god now im happily married with two more kids. but at the times it was a nightmare. i felt i was being labelled unjustly. most men find it easy like that cos they dont have to help us raise the kids and just live a free life. i think there should be a law where they have to take responsabolity wanting or not its not fair on the child and the parent. not to be rude, but the goverment is not enough to pay rent and raise a child. plus u cant work cos they ll stop the relief. so i think yes they should pose on the father to pay maintenance. i wish all the luck and the blessing to all single mothers. dont give up there s always someone out there ready to help u all. its not easy but its worth it. your child will appreciate your love more and more cos it was a struggle. thats the biggest love a mother can give. god bless u all.
E Serracino Inglott
Aug 5th 2008, 10:27
How easy it is to judge others! People might be in a relationship with the man walking out on the woman after he discovers she is pregnant. Of course fathers should shoulder the responsibility and help to maintain their children, but if they don't want to (or cannot) then what? Stopping social benefits just because there is abuse is not the answer. Enforcement should be increased to check that those people claiming that they are living alone are indeed living alone.
Franco Farrugia
Aug 5th 2008, 09:47
How many instances there are of people declaring 'father unknown' in order to receive social benefits! Is this fair? Is there justice? And then we are told that there isn't enough money for our pensions while these people just mess around and bring children into the world, who most probably, in turn, will do exactly that when they are 16 or thereabouts!
Joanne Micallef
Aug 5th 2008, 09:29
Actually AN did not stop at saying that social benefits to mothers who claim the father of their child is unknown should stop, but continued to say that all fathers should be held accountable for their actions and therefore made to pay child support