Cold turkey in the heat of summer

To normal people summer is a time of great happiness and joy. There are sunny beaches to be sprawled on, warm seas to be dipped in, cold beers to be drunk and a million barbeques to attend - even for those of us who don't drive buses.

But, sadly, football fans are not normal people. For us summer is little more than a long drawn-out event that fills in the gaps between seasons. Sure, we do all the usual stuff that normal people do. And sometimes we even enjoy them. Especially the beer part. But at the back of our minds is the constant, almost desperate, yearning for the beautiful game to return to our screens and our lives.

Of course, summers that include a major football tournament like Euro 2008 are somewhat less stressful as the period of abstinence is shorter. But there is still that gap between the end of the tournament and the start of the new season and that's when the withdrawal symptoms really kick in.

And today, ladies and gentlemen, the cold turkey reaches its peak - it's been exactly three weeks since Spain won Euro 2008 and there's another three to go before the big kick-off.

During these barren times, there is one small sliver of hope that keeps us going - the transfer market. Every day we scan the papers or the Internet as we hope against hope that our teams signs someone of significant substance. That way the sense of anticipation at the new arrival will outweigh the sense of emptiness at the lack of football. At least temporarily.

And that's fine if you support Manchester United, Real Madrid or Inter, but considerably less rewarding if you are a fan of a lesser team like, say, Sheffield United. So far this summer we have only signed two players, both for free and only because nobody else wanted them. Quite possibly including their mothers. Hardly the stuff of which anticipatory dreams are made.

In truth, the whole transfer market is a little bit weird this summer. There have been some big deals - like Ronaldinho moving from Spain to Italy. And I suppose Crouch moving to Portsmouth could be considered a big deal, if not in terms of fee then certainly in terms of height.

But for the most part it has been a summer of speculation and rumour as all the big clubs play a rather elongated game of cat and mouse with each other. Ronaldo to Real, Lampard to Inter, Bentley to Spurs, Robinho to Chelsea, Barry to Liverpool, Berbatov to Manchester United. My bet is that most, if not all, of them will go through at some point in the next few days, it's just a case of when.

What normally happens is that as soon as one deal is done, the others come in thick and fast as their rivals are panicked into taking the plunge - a sort of multi-million euro domino effect. Hopefully someone will knock over that first domino soon before we all die of boredom.

There are some fans, of course, who simply can't cope with the football withdrawal symptoms and they resort to desperate measures to get a fix - like watching pre-season friendlies. For me, though, that is really scraping the barrel. These games are generally mind-achingly dull affairs involving teams made up of unfit players who dare not get injured, and injured players trying desperately to get fit. And Wayne Rooney trying to recover from his summer of honeymoon sex, Marlboro Lights and cocktails.

Which means the rest of us will just have to grin and bear it and take our punishment like men. Still, by the time you have read this there will only be another 500 hours or so to go. Shouldn't be too hard, should it? Should it?

Pass me another beer...

Facebook fool

I am no fan of Facebook. I detest the fact that while I have passionately avoided signing up for the site, there are still numerous pictures of me posted on different people's pages taken at parties, weddings and family gatherings. That, to my mind, is a gross invasion of personal space, making the entire social networking concept little more than a glorified gossip shop.

But, personal opinions aside, I have to admit Facebook does throw up the occasional funny story. Last week Crystal Palace footballer Ashley-Paul Robinson changed his status on the site to say he was looking for a transfer away from the club he has been at for five years. He thought that this statement of intent would only be seen by his 190 or so Facebook 'friends'. However, as he was part of the London group it was actually seen by 2.7 million people. Including some from the Crystal Palace hierarchy.

Robinson announced that he was going for a trial with Fulham and would "have it made" if he was accepted despite the fact that Palace had offered the 18-year-old a new contract. His current employers were not amused and apparently withdrew the contract offer, meaning Robinson will find himself unemployed if he fails the Fulham trial.

Still, at least that will give him plenty more time on Facebook...

Out of Toon

When he bought Newcastle United he was an unknown quantity. Mike Ashley, a self-made billionaire with no obvious links to football in general and even less to Newcastle itself. Nobody knew what he was up to but everyone gave him the benefit of the doubt.

In recent weeks, however, his true colours have started to show when he opened negotiations with an American investment company to sell the club to them for a profit somewhere in the region of £200 million. Those talks have since collapsed, but we now know what his real intentions are.

Every time you saw Ashley sitting with the fans wearing his Newcastle shirt you got the feeling there was something not entirely honest about him. He looked out of place, like he was on one long publicity stunt. Now we know he was. His heart has never been in the club. His desire has never been to see Newcastle woken from its seemingly endless slumber. All he is after is making a healthy profit.

The sooner Newcastle and their massively dedicated fans are rid of him the better. They deserve so much more than a speculator who is only interested in lining his own pockets.

Your say

"First of all I would like to congratulate you on an excellent column which provides me with my first port of call on a Sunday morning. However I would like to comment about the article you wrote in which you criticised Michel Platini over his plans to change the format of the European Cup.

"I agree this year's event in Switzerland and Austria was excellent but I am sure they said the same thing about the first match that was held under floodlights, for example. Does that mean there was no way of improving them? Of course not. Today's floodlights are brighter, better and more efficient and that is all down to development and change.

"Just because something is good doesn't mean we shouldn't look at ways of making it even better, and Platini's proposal to increase the number of teams taking part in the finals may do just that.

"I am an Italian supporter but I believe the presence of England would have been for the benefit of the tournament as a whole. The same thing can be said of Ireland, for example.

"Platini's plans to move the tournament to August are a little less wise, and I agree with you when you say this will not prove to be a popular move with the domestic clubs. Yet that doesn't mean the idea shouldn't be considered and studied, and then, if it is found to be wanting, discarded.

"In my line of work I find there is always a resistance to change and that resistance sometimes causes things to stagnate or, in some cases, go backwards. That is the very last thing football supporters want to see happen to our game, so Platini should be applauded for having the courage to take something that is nearly perfect and see if it can be made truly perfect."

Paul Turner, e-mail.

sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com